I just looked for my wallet in the freezer

buf·foon (b-fn) n. 1. A clown; a jester: a court buffoon. 2. A person given to clowning and joking. 3. A ludicrous or bumbling person; a fool. The above is Webster’s definition of a buffoon but there should be another step. 4.  Someone who looks for his wallet in a freezer; a doofus. There’s nothing [...]

Bad Things Don’t Come in Threes, They Come In Twelves

So, a couple Fridays ago, I’m driving to work from my ex boyfriend’s house (we have amazing sex and I can’t stop doing it even though it effects my heart in a major way), and a semi’s tire de-treads in front of the car that’s in front of mine. Said car quickly and instinctively swerves [...]

Emos, Hipsters, and Goths found to originate from same strand of douchebag

Am I getting old or are these things all pretty much the same thing? Here’s why I think this: “normal” people always assume that I belong to one of these categories. (I have dark hair and heavy bangs, obviously I’m some sort of non-conformist.) So, just for the sake of argument, I tried to weasel [...]

Walgreens of the Dead

I realize that I’ve previously posted about my hatred of checkout lines but I just had yet another experience at lunch that prompted another round. Just like movies and television, when you have a source of good material you create a sequel. Actually, the material doesn’t even have to be that good-it just needs to [...]