Insipid Comment Lifetime Achievement Award

Throughout my entire life, I’ve been relentlessly barraged by all forms of buffoonery. Sometimes to such an extent that I’m convinced I must be paying a cosmic penance for some horrific crime committed in a prior life as the incessant torrent of ceaseless ridiculousness manifests daily in unwanted conversations that I’m forced to endure. Much like [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Jason McMaster of Broken Teeth, Dangerous Toys

The economy has taken it’s toll on many industries, but nobody has been hit harder than the publicity department at Broken Teeth LLC. It is quite sad, but this company cannot even afford plastic cases or original copies of it’s artists music. Broken Teeth is one of several lesser known bands playing on Shiprocked, a rock and [...]

Local Man’s Commute Delayed by Taz, Tweety Bird

This is a new article by one of our new writers, Larry Glidewell. He probably will change his name soon but has decided to use his porn name for now.  He is an extremely angry, unbalanced, vengeful bastard.  We should know, we can smell our own.  Enjoy his first rant.    To begin, I should [...]

The exciting finale of “Bad things don’t come in threes, they come in twelves”

(Part 2 of 2.  To read part 1, click HERE.) The next Monday I got a call from Saab saying my baby was ready. Awesome news! I had to pay only the $500 deductible. So off to the bank I went to get my money. I had to go during working hours due to the [...]

Band “Pop Evil” saves Michigan, become local heroes

While sitting in darkness at my computer pondering the dismal fate of the once great state of Michigan, a soundtrack is blasting from my speakers.  It  makes me wonder if despite the recent difficulties Michigan is facing resulting in mass emigration from the state that perhaps, just perhaps, there is still hope.  That soundtrack? Pop Evil’s superb Lipstick [...]

Bad Things Don’t Come in Threes, They Come In Twelves

So, a couple Fridays ago, I’m driving to work from my ex boyfriend’s house (we have amazing sex and I can’t stop doing it even though it effects my heart in a major way), and a semi’s tire de-treads in front of the car that’s in front of mine. Said car quickly and instinctively swerves [...]

Dr. Feelgood’s Bar & Swill

Cannon and Boondoggle walk into a bar. Not just any bar, but the fabled and much hyped Vince Neil owned and sponsored “Dr. Feelgood’s Bar & Grill” in West Palm Beach, FL (www.drfeelgoodsbar.com). A quick puddle-jump in the RUFKM Corporate jet brought Captain Boondoggle to take in the sights and sounds with Cannon of the [...]

Things We Weren’t Taught In School: Vol 1

The longer I live the more I see there are significant oversights in our education system. Certain things that come up on a daily basis but no one ever properly taught us. This recurring column will address some of those oversights. On Greetings and Salutations Is there anything quite as maddening as not knowing when [...]

Mccain, Obama, and the Ghost of Tim Russert walk into a bar…..

Hello! The ghost of Tim Russert here. In life I was a big, talking head and in death I’m literally just that. I’m a huge, floating cranium with a microphone. Oh, sweet irony. So, I’m in purgatory and one of my punishments is to be a moderator one last time. This time for RUFKM-TV. I [...]

M-ass-ter Cleanse

The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post.  Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system.  Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]

An Ode to Our Fallen Knights of Lactase

Ah…The milkman. A man that delivered milk to your house… as a job…that he got paid for. What kind of world was it to live in that didn’t include a fully stocked supermarket loaded with every manner of dairy product known to civilized man? My lord, can you imagine? The horror of going without my daily carafe of milk, or pint of sour cream.

RUFKM 10-Question Celebrity Interview – Professor Cannon

In the beginning, there were no rock stars to ask 13 stupid questions…. but there was a world renown organic chemist from Purdue: Loose Cannon’s Dad.

Black Water Rising

After a recent review of Switzerland’s Pure Inc., we’ve received a tremendous amount of emails calling us traitors, Swiss-loving chocolate eaters and uniformed about ROCK in the U.S. Black Water Rising proves that real rock is not dead.

Bob Rock Remixes Metallica’s Death Magnetic

(Quick Advertisement: RUFKM has signed an exclusive agreement with Amazon.com that gives our fans free Express 2 -Day shipping on anything you order! Look at the ad on your left for more details. Get what you want – Fast!) While RUFKM cannot confirm this is actually Bob Rock, whoever did the above remix of “Broken, [...]

Metallica’s New Album “Death Magnetic”

Ahh. Metallica. I probably scribbled their logo during high school boredom somewhere between 10-20 million times. Entire forests have fallen as a result of my ADD doodling. I especially liked adding a 3-D effect with my bad-ass shading technique. The first Metallica album I heard was a dubbed 90 minute Maxell Gold II tape of [...]

We Know Everything About You Glorious Bastards!

The reviews are in and the RUFKM Army is growing by the millions everyday! According to Feedburner (http://www.feedburner.com/) – a spectacular service that provides a wealth of subscription data – our fanbase is building all over the planet from L.A. to London and towns we’ve never heard of like Moose Paw, Canada! (Near Moose Knuckle?) [...]