Year of the Ferret (part 1)

Enjoy the first of a 3 part RUFKM Classic.  The finale, Part 4, is finally being written.  In the meantime, refresh yourself with one of the greatest stories ever told.      Authors Note:  “Some tales of idiocy are just too epic and incredible to be contained in one post and I respect your ADD. Remember: It’s funny because [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Jason McMaster of Broken Teeth, Dangerous Toys

The economy has taken it’s toll on many industries, but nobody has been hit harder than the publicity department at Broken Teeth LLC. It is quite sad, but this company cannot even afford plastic cases or original copies of it’s artists music. Broken Teeth is one of several lesser known bands playing on Shiprocked, a rock and [...]

Jani Lane of Warrant hates Internet, prefers telegraph, smoke signals

There are very few times when our request for our “13 Stupid Questions” interview is refused from a band’s management/publicist.  Sure, we get the occasional decline, but most artists are thrilled to participate in a series of questions that don’t bore them to death like most interviews. However, one rock star has proven to be quite elusive. Is it Kid Rock? [...]

South Florida Doofus proud of “No Fat Chicks” bumper sticker

I have been fascinated with bumper stickers my entire life;  I find it incredible that they actually exist.  Like Larry Glidewell’s story about cartoon character stickers, I don’t see the point of letting the world know about my hobbies.  Plus,  it actually puts your car at risk.  For example, this could happen: Man walks out of a [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Pop Evil

Before you read this interview, you should know that RUFKM and Pop Evil have a rich history together.  In the beginning of 2009, Boondoggle had recommended their new album Lipstick on the Mirror,  so TylerDFC and I bought a copy and it was pretty damn good. Hell, Boondoggle even wrote an in depth review of [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Al Jourgensen of Ministry, etc.

We have had endless debates at the RUFKM headquarters of who would be best suited for candidates for our world famous “13 Stupid Questions.”  However, since we began this series of ridiculous Q&A, one man was always at the top of the list. Al Jourgensen, best known as as the founder and frontman of the recently [...]

Trent Reznor does NOT want to fuck you like an animal – Concert Review 5/08/09

There are few things more powerful than an entire crowd booing. I heard just that last night at the kickoff of the Nine Inch Nails/Jane’s Addiction “NINJA Tour” in W. Palm Beach at Cruzan Amphitheatre. 20,000 people began booing at the end of Nine Inch Nails set combined with a chorus of “Are You Fucking [...]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and [...]

Bad Things Don’t Come in Threes, They Come In Twelves

So, a couple Fridays ago, I’m driving to work from my ex boyfriend’s house (we have amazing sex and I can’t stop doing it even though it effects my heart in a major way), and a semi’s tire de-treads in front of the car that’s in front of mine. Said car quickly and instinctively swerves [...]

Child receives Photon instead of Lazer Tag in 1986, still feels socially isolated

RUFKM would like to proudly introduce our newest contributer, the Acorn King.  Although he once wrote for Carrot Top, we have allowed him to join our club.  He is now listed under the author tab above and has a section called Acorn King’s Chaos.   Here is a tale about a Christmas gift that has [...]

Witchboard: A fine excuse to see Tawney Kitaen naked

I don’t like to do this but I think I need to lead this one off with a disclaimer: This is going to be one for the guys. It will be a deep and penetrating exploration of the adolescent psyche. Specifically MY adolescent psyche. Specifically my adolescent psyche’s obsession with boobs. Which is really not [...]

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace Captain Boondoggle lost a friend today.  Not lost, like Cannon lost his brother on his bachelor’s party or TylerDFC lost his mind the same night, but lost as in dead, finito, over, kicked the bucket, never-to-return.  He died.  He’s dead.  He’s not coming back. If you are looking for unbridled [...]

Oscar confirmed to be an F—ing idiot

Holy Kung-Fu Panda shit, where to start? Well, let’s just get this out of the way first. This will be the lowest rated Oscar telecast EVER. You heard it here people and if I’m wrong I owe you a nickel. Proving once again that the members of the Academy of Motion Picture Wankery are complete [...]

Metallica Releases Defective Death Magnetic: Are You F—ing Kidding Me???

The following article is cut and pasted from www.blog.wired.com and defines the phrase “Are You F—ing Kidding Me?.” To summarize, one of the world’s biggest selling bands has released a defective CD of epic proportions. If you have purchased this album, please sign this petition. http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/re-mix-or-remaster-death-magnetic.html It says that 2700 people have already done so [...]

Piss Biscuits Solve Local Couple’s Argument

  I love my wife. Ok, Ok…….I can hear the snickering all the way over here in my little corner of cyberspace. I know what you’re thinking. The Dark Lord’s spouse caught him wasting endless amounts of precious time on a blog that Sheriff Cannon and Deputy Boondoggle think is the second coming of Esquire. [...]