The Legend of Obama Burgundy: His teleprompter works 60% of the time, all the time

It is a well documented fact that President  Obama takes his teleprompter EVERYWHERE.  He doesn’t just use it for speeches, but takes it to interviews, meetings, etc.  According to sources the times he has NOT brought his teleprompter with him, his speeches have been awful and he even enunciates the wrong words and says the [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Pop Evil

Before you read this interview, you should know that RUFKM and Pop Evil have a rich history together.  In the beginning of 2009, Boondoggle had recommended their new album Lipstick on the Mirror,  so TylerDFC and I bought a copy and it was pretty damn good. Hell, Boondoggle even wrote an in depth review of [...]

Eminem and Sacha Baron Cohen promote “Are You F—ing Kidding Me?”

RUFKM has tried many promotional methods in the past but nothing has been as innovative and effective as what happened on MTV last night. RUFKM met with Eminem and Borat/Bruno a few weeks ago to discuss our plan.  We wanted Sacha to dress up as an extremely gay angel,  fall onto Mr. Mathers, and have his [...]

13 Stupid Questions with The Last Vegas

Have you ever asked yourself: “What would Motley Crue sound like if they did not have Vince Neil stumbling around the stage incoherently mumbling the lyrics to their greatest hits and instead hired Josh Todd of Buckcherry as their lead singer?” No. How about dreaming of a band that redefines sleaze, brings back the Sunset Strip in all its glory and offers original and insightful [...]

Axl Rose and Best Buy negotiation revealed for failed Chinese Democracy release

Last November, Axl made the decision to have Chinese Democracy ONLY AVAILABLE at Best Buy.   At that time,  Loose Cannon, Captain Boondoggle, and TylerDFC, the braintrust and majority stockholders of RUFKM Worldwide Inc., each reviewed the album for your reading pleasure: Appetite for Deconstruction Use Your Delusion Welcome to the Bungle That was then, this is [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Al Jourgensen of Ministry, etc.

We have had endless debates at the RUFKM headquarters of who would be best suited for candidates for our world famous “13 Stupid Questions.”  However, since we began this series of ridiculous Q&A, one man was always at the top of the list. Al Jourgensen, best known as as the founder and frontman of the recently [...]

Trent Reznor does NOT want to fuck you like an animal – Concert Review 5/08/09

There are few things more powerful than an entire crowd booing. I heard just that last night at the kickoff of the Nine Inch Nails/Jane’s Addiction “NINJA Tour” in W. Palm Beach at Cruzan Amphitheatre. 20,000 people began booing at the end of Nine Inch Nails set combined with a chorus of “Are You Fucking [...]

13 Stupid Questions with ANTHRAX

        For those about to FARK, we salute you!  If you came here from FARK.COM, and like this interview, check out more “13 Stupid Questions” HERE or on our homepage.    Since 1981, Anthrax has had more lead singers than Van Halen, been pressured to change their name, and had the worst [...]

Fantasy Fest: Painted Nipples Approved, Toy Weapons Banned

The following is an “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” Classic.  We have been too busy interviewing rock stars as of late for  our “13 Stupid Questions” series. For now, enjoy an insane tale of the RUFKM Crew in Key West last Halloween. Also, for the record, Key West does not have a governor, it has a [...]

Steve Jobs Gets Brain Cancer, iTunes Employees Lose Sense of Humor

As a world-renowned celebrity, Captain Boondoggle receives a multitude of fan mail from the much less fortunate wanting to know more about the Great Boondoggle.   For many, this hero worship is so great that they want to completely comprehend and fully grasp the power and magnificence of what it is to be Boondoggle.      [...]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and [...]

Major League Baseball authorizes new performance-dehancing products to combat steriod use

  Major League Baseball is in full swing right now.  However, nothing captured the headlines more than the offseason steriods scandal of Alex Rodriguez.  To hopefully shed some light on the situation,  RUFKM recently got the chance to sit down with Victor Conte, founder and president of Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (BALCO). VICTOR: Thanks for having me, Acorn [...]

Band “Pop Evil” saves Michigan, become local heroes

While sitting in darkness at my computer pondering the dismal fate of the once great state of Michigan, a soundtrack is blasting from my speakers.  It  makes me wonder if despite the recent difficulties Michigan is facing resulting in mass emigration from the state that perhaps, just perhaps, there is still hope.  That soundtrack? Pop Evil’s superb Lipstick [...]

Your Sports Week in Review: Madden retires, Rage of Hulkster, Cheerleader Revenge

  Here is all you need to know about the world compiled into 19 bulletpoints.  You can get these daily by subscribing to the Sports Twitter on your right.  Have a great weekend and enjoy the articles.  You can find the girl on your right naked through link #15.  Enjoy!   — RUFKM Worldwide Frank [...]

Child receives Photon instead of Lazer Tag in 1986, still feels socially isolated

RUFKM would like to proudly introduce our newest contributer, the Acorn King.  Although he once wrote for Carrot Top, we have allowed him to join our club.  He is now listed under the author tab above and has a section called Acorn King’s Chaos.   Here is a tale about a Christmas gift that has [...]

Multiple uses discovered for phrase “And Then I F—ed Her!”

Do you know someone who asks you questions and then never listens to the answer? How about when you’re in the middle of a speech and you can tell your audience is beginning to drift off? Have you tried to be funny and failed miserably? Perhaps just like this website? Well, RUFKM has a solution for all these problems.  It’s called: OPERATION [...]

GNR releases slew of new albums, most involve banjos, harps

Inspired by Cannon’s recent posts on long-forgotten musical gems in the world of rock, I decided to go on my own fishing expedition to find a long ago cast aside album that I too could possibly rediscover and add to my superb collection of hair metal silliness.     With the risk of RUFKM becoming a [...]

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace Captain Boondoggle lost a friend today.  Not lost, like Cannon lost his brother on his bachelor’s party or TylerDFC lost his mind the same night, but lost as in dead, finito, over, kicked the bucket, never-to-return.  He died.  He’s dead.  He’s not coming back. If you are looking for unbridled [...]

The Origin Of Obama

Everyone loves an origin story.  Spiderman, The Hulk etc., comic books and superhero movies are famous for them. Here’s another one: David Plouffe is being the best political campaign manager EVER and the proof is that Obama is able to take a huge daily dump in the White House bathroom. David is  the dude pictured to [...]

Dr. Feelgood’s Bar & Swill

Cannon and Boondoggle walk into a bar. Not just any bar, but the fabled and much hyped Vince Neil owned and sponsored “Dr. Feelgood’s Bar & Grill” in West Palm Beach, FL (www.drfeelgoodsbar.com). A quick puddle-jump in the RUFKM Corporate jet brought Captain Boondoggle to take in the sights and sounds with Cannon of the [...]

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