Year of the Ferret (part 1)

Enjoy the first of a 3 part RUFKM Classic.  The finale, Part 4, is finally being written.  In the meantime, refresh yourself with one of the greatest stories ever told.      Authors Note:  “Some tales of idiocy are just too epic and incredible to be contained in one post and I respect your ADD. Remember: It’s funny because [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Drowning Pool

A few weeks ago, we were given the opportunity to interview Drowning Pool’s “lead singer of the week”  Ryan Mccombs.   Drowning Pool is playing at this summer’s Cruefest 2 with previous “13 Stupid Questions” participants Charm City Devils. However, all the band members look like convicted felons and do not look like they can [...]

13 Stupid Questions with the Charm City Devils

Let it be known that John Allen, lead singer/songwriter  of Charm City Devils, is one cool dude.  Somehow, his interview actually made the writers of RUFKM enjoy Charm City Devils’ debut album, So Let’s Rock and Roll, even more.  It’s one of those interviews that make you root for the band to succeed on their way to world domination. [...]

Local Man’s Commute Delayed by Taz, Tweety Bird

This is a new article by one of our new writers, Larry Glidewell. He probably will change his name soon but has decided to use his porn name for now.  He is an extremely angry, unbalanced, vengeful bastard.  We should know, we can smell our own.  Enjoy his first rant.    To begin, I should [...]

13 Stupid Questions answered by…umm… The Answer

About a year ago while perusing a local “classic rock” station a sound both strangely familiar but entirely new began to emit from the speakers of my car. I immediately lunged towards the volume knob to crank the volume to 11, proceeded to sing like a fool while simultaneously banging my head like a crack-addict. [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Al Jourgensen of Ministry, etc.

We have had endless debates at the RUFKM headquarters of who would be best suited for candidates for our world famous “13 Stupid Questions.”  However, since we began this series of ridiculous Q&A, one man was always at the top of the list. Al Jourgensen, best known as as the founder and frontman of the recently [...]

Hot Garbage

When you glance at the picture to your right, the first thing that instinctively pops in you mind is that this man needs FREEDOM! This is true but what this man really needs is a shower. Let me explain: In modern times, we all have a morning ritual that involves a multitude of products for [...]

How to get FREE Starbucks!

These are tough economic times.  Everyday you hear about how many billions of dollars are spent but, just like everyone, you’re thinking:  Where’s my personal bail out? Well, RUFKM has you covered.  The “Latte Factor” has hit Americans hard and they have cut out such luxuries like Starbucks out of their budget.  Not the editors [...]

Clowns to the Left of Me, Molesters to the Right

Ever wonder about what hijinks your obnoxious neighbor is up to? It’s bad enough simply trying to avoid them on a daily basis, but being subject to their inane questions is almost to much to handle. A brief summary of some of the more ridiculous questions I’ve been exposed to recently: “Is it hot enough [...]

Westboro Church Sues RUFKM

Stumble It! To understand why A CHURCH HAS SUED RUFKM, it is advised to check out our epic battle vs. Westboro at HOMO: The Beginning and HOMO : This Means War. These are the (so-called) Baptist wackos behind the God hates Fags campaign whose leader, Fred Phelps, regularly shows up at soldiers funerals wearing a [...]

The Donnas – Bitchin’ : The Best Rock Album You Don’t Own

The Donnas album Bitchin’ is a love letter from the band to the groups of the 70′s and 80′s that inspired them. The opening title track lets the listener know exactly what they are in for. An air raid siren kicks things off followed by drums, a thudding bass line, grinding guitar and back-masked vocals, [...]

RUFKM’s Mailbox of Insanity

We continue to receive massive amounts of Grade A ridiculousness, heapings of homage and ample dosages of insanity at rufkme@gmail.com that occasionally make us laugh out loud but normally make us run for cover, out of abject fear and horror, to the nearest bunker for safety. But none has been as deeply disturbing, filled with [...]

Monkeys & Muppets: Our Financial Crisis Explained

Our current economic state (recession) can be overwhelming and difficult to comprehend as your 401K gets reduced to the street value of a half-eaten Twinkie.   As RUFKM Worldwide Inc. is one of the Internet’s top sources for financial news, we dispatched two of our drop dead gorgeous interns to research this subject. Luckily, they [...]

M-ass-ter Cleanse

The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post.  Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system.  Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]

Palin Vs. Biden Vs. Billy Madison Vs. Ms. South Carolina *UPDATED*

It’s Vice President Debate time! Oh my gosh! Oh my golly! It seems like only yesterday that I hunkered down with the family with a nice bowl of gruel and we all cozied up next to the Zenith to witness our nation’s future. I’m sorry. I’m suffering from the writing prose of TylerDFC. Moving on. [...]

The Day I lived a Cliche

“Kill two birds with one stone” “Think outside the box” “The straw that broke the camel’s back” Ah, cliches. You can hardly make it through a day without hearing a few. My fiance uses them all the time. When she meets people she should ask  “Do you speak Cliche?” It’s pretty much her second language. [...]

Know Thy Boondoggle

Not since Ron Burgundy has there been there been someone that perfects the art of being egotistical and completely unaware: Captain Boondoggle. He’s funny 60% of the time, all the time. In this exclusive interview, he reveals his softer, more sensual side.

Yes, I pulled the f—ing handle!

Earlier this week I awoke and went about my daily routine . I get up ridiculously early so my daily routine consists of brushing my teeth and trying not to fall asleep in the shower. Then I dress and head downstairs in pitch blackness with the stealth of a ninja at 5am so as not [...]

HFH3: Boondoggle Bites Back

As many of you already know, due to a recent exquisite series of posts Heteros for Homos: Part 1, and Part 2, and questioning the mental capacity of the Westboro Baptist Church, we have been threatened with legal action by said group of rabid chimpanzees. In a remarkable sign of humility coupled with a bad [...]

Metallica’s New Album “Death Magnetic”

Ahh. Metallica. I probably scribbled their logo during high school boredom somewhere between 10-20 million times. Entire forests have fallen as a result of my ADD doodling. I especially liked adding a 3-D effect with my bad-ass shading technique. The first Metallica album I heard was a dubbed 90 minute Maxell Gold II tape of [...]

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