13 Stupid Questions with Jason McMaster of Broken Teeth, Dangerous Toys

The economy has taken it’s toll on many industries, but nobody has been hit harder than the publicity department at Broken Teeth LLC. It is quite sad, but this company cannot even afford plastic cases or original copies of it’s artists music. Broken Teeth is one of several lesser known bands playing on Shiprocked, a rock and [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Drowning Pool

A few weeks ago, we were given the opportunity to interview Drowning Pool’s “lead singer of the week”  Ryan Mccombs.   Drowning Pool is playing at this summer’s Cruefest 2 with previous “13 Stupid Questions” participants Charm City Devils. However, all the band members look like convicted felons and do not look like they can [...]

The Gyno Chronicles: Double P, Discharge, and Decadence (Part 2)

  This is part 2 of “The Gyno Chronicles.”  Read Part 1 HERE.  I was glad to see I had a new lesbian “gyno” who was in love with me. She had the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen in my life. She was a bigger woman in general, but her rack was monstrous. After she [...]

The Gyno Chronicles: Double P, Discharge and Decadence

Why is it that every gynecologist I’ve ever had is intent on making me feel uncomfortable? It’s truly their mission in life. I stopped going to my regular gyno because of this miserable little fact. I had him for several years and liked him well enough. He knew all about my sex life and everything [...]

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace Captain Boondoggle lost a friend today.  Not lost, like Cannon lost his brother on his bachelor’s party or TylerDFC lost his mind the same night, but lost as in dead, finito, over, kicked the bucket, never-to-return.  He died.  He’s dead.  He’s not coming back. If you are looking for unbridled [...]

The Origin Of Obama

Everyone loves an origin story.  Spiderman, The Hulk etc., comic books and superhero movies are famous for them. Here’s another one: David Plouffe is being the best political campaign manager EVER and the proof is that Obama is able to take a huge daily dump in the White House bathroom. David is  the dude pictured to [...]

Women are from Venus: The History of Dick Glitter

There are many unsolved mysteries in life and things that occur in nature that simply cannot be explained.      1. Global Warming 2. The Bermuda Triangle 3. Dancing with the Stars The greatest scientists, sociologists, and jackassorists, could break down the above for the rest of eternity but they would never be able to produce a [...]

The Donnas – Bitchin’ : The Best Rock Album You Don’t Own

The Donnas album Bitchin’ is a love letter from the band to the groups of the 70′s and 80′s that inspired them. The opening title track lets the listener know exactly what they are in for. An air raid siren kicks things off followed by drums, a thudding bass line, grinding guitar and back-masked vocals, [...]

Sick and Tired

I’m sick. Not in a going-out-on-the-town-in-a-Little-Bo-Peep outfit-stalking-coeds-so-I-can-stab-them-in-the-eyes-with-a-screwdriver sick, but a cough-cough-hack-hack-groan-ugh-leave-me-the-fuck-alone sick. I don’t know how I got this way. I was fine, then the weather changed and now it feels like I have an anvil on my chest, my throat is lined with razor blades, and I have the attention span of Loose Cannon [...]

Barack Hussein Obama Elected 44th U.S. President. Really?

Barack is our new president.   Whether you voted for him or not, there is only one socially acceptable response after hearing this fact: All together now……… Are You F—ing Kidding Me? Well, it looks like America really likes Greek columns, infomercials (The Sham-Wow is incredible), celebrity endorsements, and hated George Bush (we all did). [...]

M-ass-ter Cleanse

The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post.  Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system.  Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]

An Ode to Our Fallen Knights of Lactase

Ah…The milkman. A man that delivered milk to your house… as a job…that he got paid for. What kind of world was it to live in that didn’t include a fully stocked supermarket loaded with every manner of dairy product known to civilized man? My lord, can you imagine? The horror of going without my daily carafe of milk, or pint of sour cream.

Black Water Rising

After a recent review of Switzerland’s Pure Inc., we’ve received a tremendous amount of emails calling us traitors, Swiss-loving chocolate eaters and uniformed about ROCK in the U.S. Black Water Rising proves that real rock is not dead.

Metallica’s New Album “Death Magnetic”

Ahh. Metallica. I probably scribbled their logo during high school boredom somewhere between 10-20 million times. Entire forests have fallen as a result of my ADD doodling. I especially liked adding a 3-D effect with my bad-ass shading technique. The first Metallica album I heard was a dubbed 90 minute Maxell Gold II tape of [...]

RUFKM Quiz: What’s green, smells bad, and will KILL YOU?

I’m about to do something here on RUFKM that has never been done before. An occasion so momentous, so stupefying in its’ audacity, that this website will be shaken to the very foundation! What is this landmark event you ask? I, TylerDFC, the power behind the RUFKM throne will finally FINISH A STORY. I know, [...]

Attack of the Snow MILF! Battle of the Bands! AKA Decision 2008

See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die I have been toying with several ways to write this. I’ve gone so far as to write a page and a half dedicated to the precarious position that we find ourselves in and sprinkled it with witty bon mots and impotent rage aimed at a system [...]