Hillary Clinton Takes Responsibility For iPad Mini Delay.

“Make no mistake,” said Bill O’Reilly, “the REAL evil is President Obama, whose dark, sinister, terrorist loving, baby hating gay sex-mongering agenda is all over this story.”

Gridlock as Obama, GOP Disagree on how to Screw America.

“The President has repeatedly offered to wear a condom while raping the country, and you can look it up,” Biden reportedly will say, despite the desperate attempts of his aides to stop him from saying it.

The Legend of Obama Burgundy: His teleprompter works 60% of the time, all the time

It is a well documented fact that President  Obama takes his teleprompter EVERYWHERE.  He doesn’t just use it for speeches, but takes it to interviews, meetings, etc.  According to sources the times he has NOT brought his teleprompter with him, his speeches have been awful and he even enunciates the wrong words and says the [...]

Purchased a Dell? Welcome to Hell.

I recently contributed to our economy by purchasing a Dell laptop computer.  We had an HP laptop that was quite battered after 5 years from my wife’s business and the crazy amount of papers she has to write for grad school.  Because of this, she had started using my iMac.  This was an unacceptable situation [...]

Obama appoints new Cyber Czar, Fuhrer of the Interior, Mack Daddy of Poonany

So this week Obama is set to name a new “Cyber Czar” to be in charge of the nations internet security. This in addition to the already named “Auto Czar” and “Banking Czar”, two gentlemen who are in charge of facilitating the takeover of  several publicly held corporations. We here at RUFKM find it fascinating [...]

Obama states if he wanted a real challenge, he’d beat Contra without the code

In one of Obama’s nightly press conferences, when asked about solving the state of America’s economy, he made reference to an 80′s Nintendo video game.  “My fellow Americans.  While our current economic state presents a challenge, it is nothing compared to the struggle I went through on May 17th, 1989. ” When asked to elaborate, Obama [...]

TylerDFC pulls out his stimulus package, lays it on desk

Dear President Obama, members of government, foreign leaders, and the media: After the last $800B dollars you invested in our economy seems to not be doing a damn thing to help the situation I think it is time for some radical steps. News everyday is the stock market is crashing to its lowest levels in [...]

Obama’s $800 Billion Dollar Boondoggle

I have a recurring nightmare that I must share with the world.  I’m at an exclusive underground sex-fest that I snuck into (with a secret code) much like the last few minutes of Eyes Wide Shut.  Just like “OT- VII level” Scientologist Tom Cruise, I’m roaming the halls with my sweet Lone Ranger mask scoping endless [...]

The Origin Of Obama

Everyone loves an origin story.  Spiderman, The Hulk etc., comic books and superhero movies are famous for them. Here’s another one: David Plouffe is being the best political campaign manager EVER and the proof is that Obama is able to take a huge daily dump in the White House bathroom. David is  the dude pictured to [...]

Barack Hussein Obama Elected 44th U.S. President. Really?

Barack is our new president.   Whether you voted for him or not, there is only one socially acceptable response after hearing this fact: All together now……… Are You F—ing Kidding Me? Well, it looks like America really likes Greek columns, infomercials (The Sham-Wow is incredible), celebrity endorsements, and hated George Bush (we all did). [...]

Mccain, Obama, and the Ghost of Tim Russert walk into a bar…..

Hello! The ghost of Tim Russert here. In life I was a big, talking head and in death I’m literally just that. I’m a huge, floating cranium with a microphone. Oh, sweet irony. So, I’m in purgatory and one of my punishments is to be a moderator one last time. This time for RUFKM-TV. I [...]

Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

Perusing the Sunday paper this weekend by complete happenchance I inadvertently stumbled upon an advertisement that so annoyed and frightened me that I could no longer read the riveting and I’m sure entirely factual articles explaining why Barack Obama should be made eternal King and Savior of the United States of America and why John [...]

Boondoggle Endorses McCain

This is the worse election ever. Not only does it seem like the longest election cycle that mankind has ever been forced to endure, but we are left with a Morton’s Fork of a baritone speaking man-child whose greatest accomplishment to date is that he is running for president and an angry old guy whose [...]

The Comedic Stylings of Mccain, Obama and a guy who loves soup

The following YouTube clips of “roasts” by Barrrrrack and Mccain themselves might be funnier than the SNL skits or maybe it’s just the shock of both of them attempting comedy. This was at the Alfred E. Smith(who?) 63rd annual memorial dinner. I missed the first 62.   For extra entertainment, please look at the 100 [...]

Headline: Mccain Licks Obama, Attempts Ass Grab

They say that a picture says a thousand words.  Good.  This saves me a hell of a lot of time.   In the last few minutes of last nights final presidential debate, when Mccain and Obama dragged their wives on stage and acted like they both didn’t want to stab each other in the neck, [...]

Palin Vs. Biden Vs. Billy Madison Vs. Ms. South Carolina *UPDATED*

It’s Vice President Debate time! Oh my gosh! Oh my golly! It seems like only yesterday that I hunkered down with the family with a nice bowl of gruel and we all cozied up next to the Zenith to witness our nation’s future. I’m sorry. I’m suffering from the writing prose of TylerDFC. Moving on. [...]

Matt Damon: Political Analyst of the Gods

I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve tried not to engage in frivolous conversations about the upcoming presidential election, but I’ve reached my breaking point. This particularly dull point is Matt Damon. I have, luckily, been able to avoid all things Damon for quite some time now, but recently he has taken up political punditry [...]

Attack of the Snow MILF! Battle of the Bands! AKA Decision 2008

See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die I have been toying with several ways to write this. I’ve gone so far as to write a page and a half dedicated to the precarious position that we find ourselves in and sprinkled it with witty bon mots and impotent rage aimed at a system [...]

We Know Everything About You Glorious Bastards!

The reviews are in and the RUFKM Army is growing by the millions everyday! According to Feedburner (http://www.feedburner.com/) – a spectacular service that provides a wealth of subscription data – our fanbase is building all over the planet from L.A. to London and towns we’ve never heard of like Moose Paw, Canada! (Near Moose Knuckle?) [...]

For those about to write…We Salute You! (Boom)

A big toast to all of you crazy fans out there! We have received some great letters about our stories! We also feel that RUFKM Inc. needed to make a brief announcement about RUFKM’s main contributors: Dr. Boondoggle. and Mr. Cannon. Both of us love reading our fan mail. Since there is so much, we [...]