Child receives Photon instead of Lazer Tag in 1986, still feels socially isolated

RUFKM would like to proudly introduce our newest contributer, the Acorn King.  Although he once wrote for Carrot Top, we have allowed him to join our club.  He is now listed under the author tab above and has a section called Acorn King’s Chaos.   Here is a tale about a Christmas gift that has [...]

Multiple uses discovered for phrase “And Then I F—ed Her!”

Do you know someone who asks you questions and then never listens to the answer? How about when you’re in the middle of a speech and you can tell your audience is beginning to drift off? Have you tried to be funny and failed miserably? Perhaps just like this website? Well, RUFKM has a solution for all these problems.  It’s called: OPERATION [...]

Get me a Slanket and Snuggie immediately… if not sooner!

When I am sitting on a plane, pondering how many days it’s been since the tank top wearing individual next to me decided to experiment with soap, water, and toothpaste, I often help pass the time by flipping through a fantastic magazine called SkyMall. For those not familiar, Skymall is a collection of useless crap [...]

Black Water Rising

After a recent review of Switzerland’s Pure Inc., we’ve received a tremendous amount of emails calling us traitors, Swiss-loving chocolate eaters and uniformed about ROCK in the U.S. Black Water Rising proves that real rock is not dead.

Piss Biscuits Solve Local Couple’s Argument

  I love my wife. Ok, Ok…….I can hear the snickering all the way over here in my little corner of cyberspace. I know what you’re thinking. The Dark Lord’s spouse caught him wasting endless amounts of precious time on a blog that Sheriff Cannon and Deputy Boondoggle think is the second coming of Esquire. [...]