Sharp Teeth – The war on terror comes home.

Sharp Teeth Cinema Craptastique review by TylerDFC I very seriously considered turning Sharp Teeth off several times. While Cinema Craptastique is dedicated to judging crap films, Sharp Teeth is SO terrible that it barely qualifies as a movie at all and functions more as a torture device. The plot has something to do with a [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Jason McMaster of Broken Teeth, Dangerous Toys

The economy has taken it’s toll on many industries, but nobody has been hit harder than the publicity department at Broken Teeth LLC. It is quite sad, but this company cannot even afford plastic cases or original copies of it’s artists music. Broken Teeth is one of several lesser known bands playing on Shiprocked, a rock and [...]

Shark Zone – Adventures in stock footage

By TylerDFC Danny Wagner: “I hate sharks, they suck.” Jimmy Wagner: “Yes, they do.” I like to take notes when I am watching movies so that when I sit down to write about them I won’t be forced to make stuff up off the top of my head. While watching Shark Zone I began to [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Atarilogic

Yo. While most (read: all) of our “13 Stupid Questions” interviews have been geared towards hard rock, our staff has a diverse taste in music — especially artists with a great sense of humor.                                         So, [...]

Local Man’s Commute Delayed by Taz, Tweety Bird

This is a new article by one of our new writers, Larry Glidewell. He probably will change his name soon but has decided to use his porn name for now.  He is an extremely angry, unbalanced, vengeful bastard.  We should know, we can smell our own.  Enjoy his first rant.    To begin, I should [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Al Jourgensen of Ministry, etc.

We have had endless debates at the RUFKM headquarters of who would be best suited for candidates for our world famous “13 Stupid Questions.”  However, since we began this series of ridiculous Q&A, one man was always at the top of the list. Al Jourgensen, best known as as the founder and frontman of the recently [...]

Yanni, Boxing the Clown, and Airborne Chairs – Your Sports Week in Review

By Ceon Foosheys   In an effort to be as vain as possible, I will now be compiling the weekly best-of-RUFKM Sports Twitter post, deciding which of my own brilliant tweets deserves more attention.  Instead of simply copying and pasting all of the tweets from the past week and calling it a day, I will [...]

The Gyno Chronicles: Double P, Discharge, and Decadence (Part 2)

  This is part 2 of “The Gyno Chronicles.”  Read Part 1 HERE.  I was glad to see I had a new lesbian “gyno” who was in love with me. She had the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen in my life. She was a bigger woman in general, but her rack was monstrous. After she [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Pure, Inc.

Thus far, Dave Rude of Tesla and Frank Bello of Anthrax have subjected themselves to our world famous “13 Stupid Questions.” As a result, they have become internet sensations and both have seen a huge increase in album sales. Naturally, other bands have been begging to also be interviewed. So, now we are proud to [...]

The Gyno Chronicles: Double P, Discharge and Decadence

Why is it that every gynecologist I’ve ever had is intent on making me feel uncomfortable? It’s truly their mission in life. I stopped going to my regular gyno because of this miserable little fact. I had him for several years and liked him well enough. He knew all about my sex life and everything [...]

13 Stupid Questions with ANTHRAX

        For those about to FARK, we salute you!  If you came here from FARK.COM, and like this interview, check out more “13 Stupid Questions” HERE or on our homepage.    Since 1981, Anthrax has had more lead singers than Van Halen, been pressured to change their name, and had the worst [...]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and [...]

Warrant’s Cherry Pie, Tawny Kitaen, and O.J.

      There are few times when a band releases a song and video that summarizes an entire genre. However, Warrant did just that in 1990 with the single, video, and album Cherry Pie. In front of a white background, the entire band dressed as firemen and hosed down Pamela Anderson wannabe Bobbi Brown [...]

There’s no “I” in team!

Have you ever met a real life Michael Scott from the Office? Well I have. He’s a manager in my region, speaks only in cliche and chest bumped me yesterday. Here’s his paraphrased conversation.

M-ass-ter Cleanse

The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post.  Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system.  Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]

RUFKM : Quenching the Planet’s Thirst for Knowledge since 2008!

Since the beginning of time, man has been an inquisitive beast on an endless quest for knowledge. This pursuit led to scientific and artistic achievements like the invention of the wheel, the Polio vaccine, landing on the moon, Garbage Pail Kids trading cards, the ShamWow! and, of course, the Freedom Rock commercial.    RUFKM is proud [...]

An Ode to Our Fallen Knights of Lactase

Ah…The milkman. A man that delivered milk to your house… as a job…that he got paid for. What kind of world was it to live in that didn’t include a fully stocked supermarket loaded with every manner of dairy product known to civilized man? My lord, can you imagine? The horror of going without my daily carafe of milk, or pint of sour cream.

Know Thy Boondoggle

Not since Ron Burgundy has there been there been someone that perfects the art of being egotistical and completely unaware: Captain Boondoggle. He’s funny 60% of the time, all the time. In this exclusive interview, he reveals his softer, more sensual side.

Attack of the Snow MILF! Battle of the Bands! AKA Decision 2008

See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die I have been toying with several ways to write this. I’ve gone so far as to write a page and a half dedicated to the precarious position that we find ourselves in and sprinkled it with witty bon mots and impotent rage aimed at a system [...]

Piss Biscuits Solve Local Couple’s Argument

  I love my wife. Ok, Ok…….I can hear the snickering all the way over here in my little corner of cyberspace. I know what you’re thinking. The Dark Lord’s spouse caught him wasting endless amounts of precious time on a blog that Sheriff Cannon and Deputy Boondoggle think is the second coming of Esquire. [...]

Next Page »