I just looked for my wallet in the freezer

buf·foon (b-fn) n. 1. A clown; a jester: a court buffoon. 2. A person given to clowning and joking. 3. A ludicrous or bumbling person; a fool. The above is Webster’s definition of a buffoon but there should be another step. 4.  Someone who looks for his wallet in a freezer; a doofus. There’s nothing [...]

Corporate policy requires written approval for repairing company cars that leak gas, catch on fire

I am a traveling salesman of sorts, working for a company that saw fit to hire me without a lick of experience in the field. Eventually they saw fit to give me a company car. Sidebar:  Since I didn’t need a second car, that led to Loose Cannon boosting my 2005 Honda and taking it [...]

Cannon Goes to Europe, Causes International Incident

RUFKM, Inc. Chief Executive Clown, Loose Cannon is currently embarking on his first ever trip to Europe without the comfort and protection of adult supervision and his obnoxious Tickle-Me Elmo doll. This has caused me great joy beyond all belief, not the least of it due to the fact that he does not believe his cell [...]

Monkey Business: TylerDFC’s Adventures with Skid Row

Loose Cannon: Over the last month, I’ve been exchanging emails with Rachel Bolan, bassist and co-founder of Skid Row. He and guitarist Snake Sabo are participating in our “13 Stupid Questions” and we were already planning on seeing them on the Shiprocked Cruise along with Queensryche, Tesla, Ratt, and others. Then TylerDFC called me last [...]

Purchased a Dell? Welcome to Hell.

I recently contributed to our economy by purchasing a Dell laptop computer.  We had an HP laptop that was quite battered after 5 years from my wife’s business and the crazy amount of papers she has to write for grad school.  Because of this, she had started using my iMac.  This was an unacceptable situation [...]

Neil Young releases album of AC/DC, Metallica covers

There are four words I thought I would never say or put down in print: Neil Young Fucking Rocks. I have been a severe non-fan of Neil Young’s music since the first time I heard “Rocking in the free word.”  The only thing I really knew about him was: *  He had the worst set of [...]

RUFKM is added to Wikipedia … and then banned for life

As we find ourselves to be very important people and a vital part of American history, we added Loose Cannon’s and Captain Boondoggle’s biographies to Wikipedia. Things went… poorly.