13 Stupid Questions answered by…umm… The Answer

About a year ago while perusing a local “classic rock” station a sound both strangely familiar but entirely new began to emit from the speakers of my car. I immediately lunged towards the volume knob to crank the volume to 11, proceeded to sing like a fool while simultaneously banging my head like a crack-addict. [...]

Fantasy Fest: Painted Nipples Approved, Toy Weapons Banned

The following is an “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” Classic.  We have been too busy interviewing rock stars as of late for  our “13 Stupid Questions” series. For now, enjoy an insane tale of the RUFKM Crew in Key West last Halloween. Also, for the record, Key West does not have a governor, it has a [...]

U.S Cargo Ship’s features include cruise control, Somali pirate repellent

There are many signs that I will soon wake up, look out my bedroom window, and see a dragon peeking through my blinds. With a slightly disturbed look, the dragon will stare at me standing shirtless in my blue penguin-patterned-pajamas, give me a quick wink, bash his head through the wall, open his mouth of [...]

How to get FREE Starbucks!

These are tough economic times.  Everyday you hear about how many billions of dollars are spent but, just like everyone, you’re thinking:  Where’s my personal bail out? Well, RUFKM has you covered.  The “Latte Factor” has hit Americans hard and they have cut out such luxuries like Starbucks out of their budget.  Not the editors [...]

Things We Weren’t Taught In School: Vol 1

The longer I live the more I see there are significant oversights in our education system. Certain things that come up on a daily basis but no one ever properly taught us. This recurring column will address some of those oversights. On Greetings and Salutations Is there anything quite as maddening as not knowing when [...]

Into Thin Air: The Boondoggle Expedition Company

One of the great fringe benefits of having a career in which you get to fly over 100,000 miles per year, mostly international, other than being stuck in a seat by the assorted incessantly talking wacko for a twelve hour flight to China, is that you get to read a lot. When I say a [...]

Appetite For Deconstruction -Chinese Democracy Review #1

Why are we are doing an album review on RUFKM? Because the title of the GNR‘s new album should be: “AXL’S SHENANIGANS.” Amazon.com Widgets Let’s get one thing straight before I begin this review. I do not want this to be a Guns N’ Roses history lesson — but we need to put a few [...]

Chinese Democracy – Album Review

Stumble It!   Amazon.com Widgets  How does one begin a review of Chinese Democracy? An album that is arguably one of the most highly anticipated releases in the history of rock-n-roll. A rumored holy grail and purported savior of the rock genre that even neophytes to music, the deaf and grandmothers know is the first [...]

Pure, Inc. “Parasites & Worms”

Let’s face it. American rock-n-roll and its most excellent sub-genre of metal is dead. Finished. Kaput. Finito. Over. What killed it is up to much debate. Some claim it was the grunge scene, others Limp Bizkit while even more claim that it was the fraud perpetuated by the evil empire of American Idol. From these [...]