Cannon Goes to Europe, Causes International Incident

RUFKM, Inc. Chief Executive Clown, Loose Cannon is currently embarking on his first ever trip to Europe without the comfort and protection of adult supervision and his obnoxious Tickle-Me Elmo doll. This has caused me great joy beyond all belief, not the least of it due to the fact that he does not believe his cell [...]

RUFKM’s Fiscal Year in Review: A message from our CEO

Dear Shareholders, Employees, Mentally Deranged Stalkers and Fans of RUFKM: It is with great pleasure that we are pleased to announce that the first fiscal year of RUFKM Worldwide was a remarkable accomplishment.   We began our operation on July 17th, 2008 and just passed our first year anniversary. We started with getting about 500 [...]

Men Are From Mars

Today at the gym with over 285 pounds of cold hard steel delicately perched above my chest, I had a brief, almost fleeting, moment of clarity and horrific self-awareness.  One of those singular life-changing moments in your life in which you are forced to question your own mental sanity and ask yourself “Am I F—ing [...]

Black Water Rising

After a recent review of Switzerland’s Pure Inc., we’ve received a tremendous amount of emails calling us traitors, Swiss-loving chocolate eaters and uniformed about ROCK in the U.S. Black Water Rising proves that real rock is not dead.