The Gyno Chronicles: Double P, Discharge and Decadence

Why is it that every gynecologist I’ve ever had is intent on making me feel uncomfortable? It’s truly their mission in life. I stopped going to my regular gyno because of this miserable little fact. I had him for several years and liked him well enough. He knew all about my sex life and everything [...]

Trent Reznor does NOT want to fuck you like an animal – Concert Review 5/08/09

There are few things more powerful than an entire crowd booing. I heard just that last night at the kickoff of the Nine Inch Nails/Jane’s Addiction “NINJA Tour” in W. Palm Beach at Cruzan Amphitheatre. 20,000 people began booing at the end of Nine Inch Nails set combined with a chorus of “Are You Fucking [...]

The exciting finale of “Bad things don’t come in threes, they come in twelves”

(Part 2 of 2.  To read part 1, click HERE.) The next Monday I got a call from Saab saying my baby was ready. Awesome news! I had to pay only the $500 deductible. So off to the bank I went to get my money. I had to go during working hours due to the [...]

Bad Things Don’t Come in Threes, They Come In Twelves

So, a couple Fridays ago, I’m driving to work from my ex boyfriend’s house (we have amazing sex and I can’t stop doing it even though it effects my heart in a major way), and a semi’s tire de-treads in front of the car that’s in front of mine. Said car quickly and instinctively swerves [...]

Warrant’s Cherry Pie, Tawny Kitaen, and O.J.

      There are few times when a band releases a song and video that summarizes an entire genre. However, Warrant did just that in 1990 with the single, video, and album Cherry Pie. In front of a white background, the entire band dressed as firemen and hosed down Pamela Anderson wannabe Bobbi Brown [...]

Things we Weren’t Taught In School: Vol 2

We’ve all been in this situation. You walk into work in the morning, passing person after person, going through mental gymnastics trying to properly greet everyone. Because EVERYONE is different and if you give the wrong greeting you will needlessly offend someone. Some people, like my friend, prefer to ignore the existence of morning and [...]

TylerDFC’s Favorite Songs of 2008 (according to his iTunes)

Like most of the writers on RUFKM I am a pretty big music freak and this is my Best of 2008 Music list. Before you all go running for the hills I’m happy to say it’s not quite what you think. Of course, when has anything at RUFKM been normal? No, we (meaning I) are [...]

Appetite For Deconstruction -Chinese Democracy Review #1

Why are we are doing an album review on RUFKM? Because the title of the GNR‘s new album should be: “AXL’S SHENANIGANS.” Amazon.com Widgets Let’s get one thing straight before I begin this review. I do not want this to be a Guns N’ Roses history lesson — but we need to put a few [...]

An Ode to Our Fallen Knights of Lactase

Ah…The milkman. A man that delivered milk to your house… as a job…that he got paid for. What kind of world was it to live in that didn’t include a fully stocked supermarket loaded with every manner of dairy product known to civilized man? My lord, can you imagine? The horror of going without my daily carafe of milk, or pint of sour cream.

RUFKM 10-Question Celebrity Interview – Professor Cannon

In the beginning, there were no rock stars to ask 13 stupid questions…. but there was a world renown organic chemist from Purdue: Loose Cannon’s Dad.

The Day I lived a Cliche

“Kill two birds with one stone” “Think outside the box” “The straw that broke the camel’s back” Ah, cliches. You can hardly make it through a day without hearing a few. My fiance uses them all the time. When she meets people she should ask  “Do you speak Cliche?” It’s pretty much her second language. [...]

Yes, I pulled the f—ing handle!

Earlier this week I awoke and went about my daily routine . I get up ridiculously early so my daily routine consists of brushing my teeth and trying not to fall asleep in the shower. Then I dress and head downstairs in pitch blackness with the stealth of a ninja at 5am so as not [...]

HFH3: Boondoggle Bites Back

As many of you already know, due to a recent exquisite series of posts Heteros for Homos: Part 1, and Part 2, and questioning the mental capacity of the Westboro Baptist Church, we have been threatened with legal action by said group of rabid chimpanzees. In a remarkable sign of humility coupled with a bad [...]

Use Your Delusion

Amazon.com Widgets When the RUFKM offices received an unmarked FedEx envelope with a return address simply marked at “Malibu, CA” we were quite alarmed at first. Could it be another hate letter from the bike racers? Perhaps the Dark Lord had sent us a sample of his own excrement, again. Or perhaps was it something [...]