Steve Jobs Gets Brain Cancer, iTunes Employees Lose Sense of Humor

As a world-renowned celebrity, Captain Boondoggle receives a multitude of fan mail from the much less fortunate wanting to know more about the Great Boondoggle.   For many, this hero worship is so great that they want to completely comprehend and fully grasp the power and magnificence of what it is to be Boondoggle.      [...]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and [...]

Major League Baseball authorizes new performance-dehancing products to combat steriod use

  Major League Baseball is in full swing right now.  However, nothing captured the headlines more than the offseason steriods scandal of Alex Rodriguez.  To hopefully shed some light on the situation,  RUFKM recently got the chance to sit down with Victor Conte, founder and president of Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (BALCO). VICTOR: Thanks for having me, Acorn [...]

Band “Pop Evil” saves Michigan, become local heroes

While sitting in darkness at my computer pondering the dismal fate of the once great state of Michigan, a soundtrack is blasting from my speakers.  It  makes me wonder if despite the recent difficulties Michigan is facing resulting in mass emigration from the state that perhaps, just perhaps, there is still hope.  That soundtrack? Pop Evil’s superb Lipstick [...]

Your Sports Week in Review: Madden retires, Rage of Hulkster, Cheerleader Revenge

  Here is all you need to know about the world compiled into 19 bulletpoints.  You can get these daily by subscribing to the Sports Twitter on your right.  Have a great weekend and enjoy the articles.  You can find the girl on your right naked through link #15.  Enjoy!   — RUFKM Worldwide Frank [...]

Air biscuits, giant burgers, and wedding dresses traded for hockey tickets

  Here is everything you need to know about the world in the last 7 days from our Twitter contributor Ceon Foosheys.  These are all real stories, mostly involving sporting shenanigans.  I highly recommend the Air Biscuit article.  I already bought three. Make sure to watch the video.  Passing air biscuits is now fully socially acceptable [...]

GNR releases slew of new albums, most involve banjos, harps

Inspired by Cannon’s recent posts on long-forgotten musical gems in the world of rock, I decided to go on my own fishing expedition to find a long ago cast aside album that I too could possibly rediscover and add to my superb collection of hair metal silliness.     With the risk of RUFKM becoming a [...]

Dr. Feelgood’s Bar & Swill

Cannon and Boondoggle walk into a bar. Not just any bar, but the fabled and much hyped Vince Neil owned and sponsored “Dr. Feelgood’s Bar & Grill” in West Palm Beach, FL (www.drfeelgoodsbar.com). A quick puddle-jump in the RUFKM Corporate jet brought Captain Boondoggle to take in the sights and sounds with Cannon of the [...]

Dark Horse Album Review: 11 New Nickelback Classics!

Let it be known that Chad Kroeger is a horny Canadian motherfucker. I know this because I can smell my own (minus the Canadian part) and I also conducted painstaking research that led me to this conclusion.  My first clue that the lascivious lead singer of Nickelback highly enjoys vagina and throat love can be summed [...]

Women are from Venus: The History of Dick Glitter

There are many unsolved mysteries in life and things that occur in nature that simply cannot be explained.      1. Global Warming 2. The Bermuda Triangle 3. Dancing with the Stars The greatest scientists, sociologists, and jackassorists, could break down the above for the rest of eternity but they would never be able to produce a [...]

RUFKM Scientifically Proven to be Wise Asses!

That’s right, bitches! According to the scientific blog analysis site as listed above, RUFKM.NET has achieved a reading level of COLLEGE (POST-GRAD)! And it’s all a result of the mastery of the English language that your Lyrical Maestro Boondoggle provides to you free of charge. As stated in our mission statement, we take our tomfoolery [...]

Westboro Church Sues RUFKM

Stumble It! To understand why A CHURCH HAS SUED RUFKM, it is advised to check out our epic battle vs. Westboro at HOMO: The Beginning and HOMO : This Means War. These are the (so-called) Baptist wackos behind the God hates Fags campaign whose leader, Fred Phelps, regularly shows up at soldiers funerals wearing a [...]

Into Thin Air: The Boondoggle Expedition Company

One of the great fringe benefits of having a career in which you get to fly over 100,000 miles per year, mostly international, other than being stuck in a seat by the assorted incessantly talking wacko for a twelve hour flight to China, is that you get to read a lot. When I say a [...]

The Donnas – Bitchin’ : The Best Rock Album You Don’t Own

The Donnas album Bitchin’ is a love letter from the band to the groups of the 70′s and 80′s that inspired them. The opening title track lets the listener know exactly what they are in for. An air raid siren kicks things off followed by drums, a thudding bass line, grinding guitar and back-masked vocals, [...]

Appetite For Deconstruction -Chinese Democracy Review #1

Why are we are doing an album review on RUFKM? Because the title of the GNR‘s new album should be: “AXL’S SHENANIGANS.” Amazon.com Widgets Let’s get one thing straight before I begin this review. I do not want this to be a Guns N’ Roses history lesson — but we need to put a few [...]

Sick and Tired

I’m sick. Not in a going-out-on-the-town-in-a-Little-Bo-Peep outfit-stalking-coeds-so-I-can-stab-them-in-the-eyes-with-a-screwdriver sick, but a cough-cough-hack-hack-groan-ugh-leave-me-the-fuck-alone sick. I don’t know how I got this way. I was fine, then the weather changed and now it feels like I have an anvil on my chest, my throat is lined with razor blades, and I have the attention span of Loose Cannon [...]

Hello! Your Government Here!! Have you made awful decisions in life? Don’t worry, we’ll bail you out!

Hello! How are you doing? This is your government speaking and I would like to talk to you about a few pressing issues.  Do you have no ambition in life? Are you a blood sucking leach of society? Have you made the business decisions of someone who thinks 2 + 2 = Jello? Have you [...]

Mccain, Obama, and the Ghost of Tim Russert walk into a bar…..

Hello! The ghost of Tim Russert here. In life I was a big, talking head and in death I’m literally just that. I’m a huge, floating cranium with a microphone. Oh, sweet irony. So, I’m in purgatory and one of my punishments is to be a moderator one last time. This time for RUFKM-TV. I [...]

Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

Perusing the Sunday paper this weekend by complete happenchance I inadvertently stumbled upon an advertisement that so annoyed and frightened me that I could no longer read the riveting and I’m sure entirely factual articles explaining why Barack Obama should be made eternal King and Savior of the United States of America and why John [...]

Boondoggle Endorses McCain

This is the worse election ever. Not only does it seem like the longest election cycle that mankind has ever been forced to endure, but we are left with a Morton’s Fork of a baritone speaking man-child whose greatest accomplishment to date is that he is running for president and an angry old guy whose [...]

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