Sharp Teeth – The war on terror comes home.

Sharp Teeth Cinema Craptastique review by TylerDFC I very seriously considered turning Sharp Teeth off several times. While Cinema Craptastique is dedicated to judging crap films, Sharp Teeth is SO terrible that it barely qualifies as a movie at all and functions more as a torture device. The plot has something to do with a [...]

The Legend of Obama Burgundy: His teleprompter works 60% of the time, all the time

It is a well documented fact that President  Obama takes his teleprompter EVERYWHERE.  He doesn’t just use it for speeches, but takes it to interviews, meetings, etc.  According to sources the times he has NOT brought his teleprompter with him, his speeches have been awful and he even enunciates the wrong words and says the [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Atarilogic

Yo. While most (read: all) of our “13 Stupid Questions” interviews have been geared towards hard rock, our staff has a diverse taste in music — especially artists with a great sense of humor.                                         So, [...]

Yanni, Boxing the Clown, and Airborne Chairs – Your Sports Week in Review

By Ceon Foosheys   In an effort to be as vain as possible, I will now be compiling the weekly best-of-RUFKM Sports Twitter post, deciding which of my own brilliant tweets deserves more attention.  Instead of simply copying and pasting all of the tweets from the past week and calling it a day, I will [...]

Defective banana hammocks, magical ponies, and the Bobby Knight bitch slap

Here are all the  ”RUFKM?” moments in  sports.  These are compiled weekly from Ceon Fooshey’s constantly updated Sports Twitter on the side of this page.  Also, check out his spectacular site by clicking on the monkey with a baseball bat or click HERE.  Also, if you happend to be from the Netherlands and are thinking about [...]

Your Sports Week in Review: Madden retires, Rage of Hulkster, Cheerleader Revenge

  Here is all you need to know about the world compiled into 19 bulletpoints.  You can get these daily by subscribing to the Sports Twitter on your right.  Have a great weekend and enjoy the articles.  You can find the girl on your right naked through link #15.  Enjoy!   — RUFKM Worldwide Frank [...]

Child receives Photon instead of Lazer Tag in 1986, still feels socially isolated

RUFKM would like to proudly introduce our newest contributer, the Acorn King.  Although he once wrote for Carrot Top, we have allowed him to join our club.  He is now listed under the author tab above and has a section called Acorn King’s Chaos.   Here is a tale about a Christmas gift that has [...]

Local woman prefers men who like Asian Porn, eat without silverware

I like being a girl. As a matter of fact, I love it. And I don’t want to date one. Because dating one, would mean that there would be two girls in the relationship, and frankly, my relationships have room for only one girl. And that’s me. So, let’s talk about feelings (my ex’s most [...]

TylerDFC pulls out his stimulus package, lays it on desk

Dear President Obama, members of government, foreign leaders, and the media: After the last $800B dollars you invested in our economy seems to not be doing a damn thing to help the situation I think it is time for some radical steps. News everyday is the stock market is crashing to its lowest levels in [...]

Warrant’s Cherry Pie, Tawny Kitaen, and O.J.

      There are few times when a band releases a song and video that summarizes an entire genre. However, Warrant did just that in 1990 with the single, video, and album Cherry Pie. In front of a white background, the entire band dressed as firemen and hosed down Pamela Anderson wannabe Bobbi Brown [...]

Aerosmith records new album for 2009, classic album Pump reviewed

Aerosmith is now back in the studio, recording a new album for release near the end of 2009 and going on tour. They are recording with Brendan O’Brien (AC/DC, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam) and Joe Perry mentions that they are “going back to their roots” which is industry code for “we realize our last [...]

M-ass-ter Cleanse

The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post.  Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system.  Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]

An Ode to Our Fallen Knights of Lactase

Ah…The milkman. A man that delivered milk to your house… as a job…that he got paid for. What kind of world was it to live in that didn’t include a fully stocked supermarket loaded with every manner of dairy product known to civilized man? My lord, can you imagine? The horror of going without my daily carafe of milk, or pint of sour cream.

RUFKM 10-Question Celebrity Interview – Professor Cannon

In the beginning, there were no rock stars to ask 13 stupid questions…. but there was a world renown organic chemist from Purdue: Loose Cannon’s Dad.

HFH3: Boondoggle Bites Back

As many of you already know, due to a recent exquisite series of posts Heteros for Homos: Part 1, and Part 2, and questioning the mental capacity of the Westboro Baptist Church, we have been threatened with legal action by said group of rabid chimpanzees. In a remarkable sign of humility coupled with a bad [...]

Olympic Sized Shenanigans

Everyone knows about Michael Phelps, his 97 Gold Medals, his Subway fetish, and the 3 pounds of dope he stuffs in his Speedo.
But what about the other, lesser known sports? Where are the 20 minute NBC Sports branded backstories on the highly skilled athletes that are involved in Dressage, Rhythmic Gymnastics, Trampolining, and Synchronized Swimming and Diving? And more importantly, how did these become Olympic events?