Boondoggle and the Bees: The Six-Day War

Bees Suck. They suck even more when you happen to be one of those unfortunate individuals that when you’re stung by one of the little terrorists you blow up like Martin Short in Pure Luck and then die a slow and agonizing death. I’m Martin Short. Not in the way that I have no career, [...]

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon – AKA BEST SHARK MOVIE EVER!!!*

“You know sharks, they are always biting things.” – Ben Every now and then a movie comes along that is so bad, it becomes good. This happens pretty rarely. Usually when someone says a movie is “bad”, they really mean “average’. Unfortunately, a true cinematic travesty is as hard to find as a good Adam [...]

Clowns to the Left of Me, Molesters to the Right

Ever wonder about what hijinks your obnoxious neighbor is up to? It’s bad enough simply trying to avoid them on a daily basis, but being subject to their inane questions is almost to much to handle. A brief summary of some of the more ridiculous questions I’ve been exposed to recently: “Is it hot enough [...]

Bush Avoids Approval Ratings, Shoes

  Say what you want about Bush but this man avoids Adidas in Iraq like Keanu Reeves evaded bullets in the Matrix. With a grin on his face, this amazing creature can also determine the exact size of footwear headed directly at his cranium at 50 MPH. After avoiding two loafer-style missiles, Bush stated “This [...]

Sick and Tired

I’m sick. Not in a going-out-on-the-town-in-a-Little-Bo-Peep outfit-stalking-coeds-so-I-can-stab-them-in-the-eyes-with-a-screwdriver sick, but a cough-cough-hack-hack-groan-ugh-leave-me-the-fuck-alone sick. I don’t know how I got this way. I was fine, then the weather changed and now it feels like I have an anvil on my chest, my throat is lined with razor blades, and I have the attention span of Loose Cannon [...]

RUFKM Celebrity Interview #1: Catherinette Singleton

NEWS FLASH!  RUFKM is dedicated to provide breaking news and this story is fresh off the wire.  Our “Week of War” will continue with part 2 of our Saga of Sludge tomorrow — or maybe it won’t since it’s Labor Day weekend.  Deal with it.   Enjoy this spectacular intermission!  At RUFKM.NET we are committed to [...]

We Know Everything About You Glorious Bastards!

The reviews are in and the RUFKM Army is growing by the millions everyday! According to Feedburner (http://www.feedburner.com/) – a spectacular service that provides a wealth of subscription data – our fanbase is building all over the planet from L.A. to London and towns we’ve never heard of like Moose Paw, Canada! (Near Moose Knuckle?) [...]

Use Your Delusion

Amazon.com Widgets When the RUFKM offices received an unmarked FedEx envelope with a return address simply marked at “Malibu, CA” we were quite alarmed at first. Could it be another hate letter from the bike racers? Perhaps the Dark Lord had sent us a sample of his own excrement, again. Or perhaps was it something [...]