Year of the Ferret (part 1)

Enjoy the first of a 3 part RUFKM Classic.  The finale, Part 4, is finally being written.  In the meantime, refresh yourself with one of the greatest stories ever told.      Authors Note:  “Some tales of idiocy are just too epic and incredible to be contained in one post and I respect your ADD. Remember: It’s funny because [...]

Purchased a Dell? Welcome to Hell.

I recently contributed to our economy by purchasing a Dell laptop computer.  We had an HP laptop that was quite battered after 5 years from my wife’s business and the crazy amount of papers she has to write for grad school.  Because of this, she had started using my iMac.  This was an unacceptable situation [...]

Axl Rose and Best Buy negotiation revealed for failed Chinese Democracy release

Last November, Axl made the decision to have Chinese Democracy ONLY AVAILABLE at Best Buy.   At that time,  Loose Cannon, Captain Boondoggle, and TylerDFC, the braintrust and majority stockholders of RUFKM Worldwide Inc., each reviewed the album for your reading pleasure: Appetite for Deconstruction Use Your Delusion Welcome to the Bungle That was then, this is [...]

RUFKM added to newest edition of Urban Dictionary!

Besides providing hilarious entertainment on an (almost) daily basis, selling our 3 millionth shirt, and warning the globe about the risks of ferret ownership, there is yet another sign that RUFKM Worldwide, Inc. is poised for global domination:   Our trademarked acronym of RUFKM has just been added to the newest edition of the Amazon Bestseller [...]

A Christmas Story: Year of the Ferret (Part 3)

(Editors Note: Read Year of the Ferret Part 1 and 2 or you will be confused, angry, and sad. More than usual.) Whenever you are withdrawing money from an ATM or making a purchase at three in the morning, it is never for anything good.* The cash usually goes directly towards: Drugs/Alcohol Strippers/Whores Bail/Bribe Money [...]

A Christmas Story: Year of the Ferret (part 2)

It is said that love conquers all …. but that’s complete bullshit. Fear not only conquers love but then hits it with a tire iron, drags it a dark alley, performs sodomy in the 1st degree, douses it with gasoline, lights a match, and walks away. Always bet on fear. And this was the overwhelming [...]

RUFKM 10-Question Celebrity Interview – Professor Cannon

In the beginning, there were no rock stars to ask 13 stupid questions…. but there was a world renown organic chemist from Purdue: Loose Cannon’s Dad.

RUFKM Quiz: What’s green, smells bad, and will KILL YOU?

I’m about to do something here on RUFKM that has never been done before. An occasion so momentous, so stupefying in its’ audacity, that this website will be shaken to the very foundation! What is this landmark event you ask? I, TylerDFC, the power behind the RUFKM throne will finally FINISH A STORY. I know, [...]

Welcome to the Bungle!

Dear RUFKM Army: As promised, we have completed 3 reviews of Guns N’ Roses 9 track leak of Chinese Democracy. Just like FOX News, we are fair and balanced. The reviews can be summarized as follows: Captain Boondoggle: Axl = God Loose Cannon: I miss Slash. Tyler DFC: It made my dog weep. For more [...]

Sweet Catherinette……

I found myself doing something I never imagined doing; writing nonsensical, somewhat trivial and always frustrated observational stories on a blog. Sort of a mentally challenged Jerry Seinfeld if you will. A special Olympian of poorly written stories about animals, jackassery and assorted tomfoolery. Obviously not something that a mother would brag to her friends [...]

For those about to write…We Salute You! (Boom)

A big toast to all of you crazy fans out there! We have received some great letters about our stories! We also feel that RUFKM Inc. needed to make a brief announcement about RUFKM’s main contributors: Dr. Boondoggle. and Mr. Cannon. Both of us love reading our fan mail. Since there is so much, we [...]