13 Stupid Questions with the Charm City Devils

Let it be known that John Allen, lead singer/songwriter  of Charm City Devils, is one cool dude.  Somehow, his interview actually made the writers of RUFKM enjoy Charm City Devils’ debut album, So Let’s Rock and Roll, even more.  It’s one of those interviews that make you root for the band to succeed on their way to world domination. [...]

13 Stupid Questions answered by…umm… The Answer

About a year ago while perusing a local “classic rock” station a sound both strangely familiar but entirely new began to emit from the speakers of my car. I immediately lunged towards the volume knob to crank the volume to 11, proceeded to sing like a fool while simultaneously banging my head like a crack-addict. [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Pure, Inc.

Thus far, Dave Rude of Tesla and Frank Bello of Anthrax have subjected themselves to our world famous “13 Stupid Questions.” As a result, they have become internet sensations and both have seen a huge increase in album sales. Naturally, other bands have been begging to also be interviewed. So, now we are proud to [...]

13 Stupid Questions with ANTHRAX

        For those about to FARK, we salute you!  If you came here from FARK.COM, and like this interview, check out more “13 Stupid Questions” HERE or on our homepage.    Since 1981, Anthrax has had more lead singers than Van Halen, been pressured to change their name, and had the worst [...]

Neil Young releases album of AC/DC, Metallica covers

There are four words I thought I would never say or put down in print: Neil Young Fucking Rocks. I have been a severe non-fan of Neil Young’s music since the first time I heard “Rocking in the free word.”  The only thing I really knew about him was: *  He had the worst set of [...]

Dark Horse Album Review: 11 New Nickelback Classics!

Let it be known that Chad Kroeger is a horny Canadian motherfucker. I know this because I can smell my own (minus the Canadian part) and I also conducted painstaking research that led me to this conclusion.  My first clue that the lascivious lead singer of Nickelback highly enjoys vagina and throat love can be summed [...]

Women are from Venus: The History of Dick Glitter

There are many unsolved mysteries in life and things that occur in nature that simply cannot be explained.      1. Global Warming 2. The Bermuda Triangle 3. Dancing with the Stars The greatest scientists, sociologists, and jackassorists, could break down the above for the rest of eternity but they would never be able to produce a [...]

Westboro Church Sues RUFKM

Stumble It! To understand why A CHURCH HAS SUED RUFKM, it is advised to check out our epic battle vs. Westboro at HOMO: The Beginning and HOMO : This Means War. These are the (so-called) Baptist wackos behind the God hates Fags campaign whose leader, Fred Phelps, regularly shows up at soldiers funerals wearing a [...]

Into Thin Air: The Boondoggle Expedition Company

One of the great fringe benefits of having a career in which you get to fly over 100,000 miles per year, mostly international, other than being stuck in a seat by the assorted incessantly talking wacko for a twelve hour flight to China, is that you get to read a lot. When I say a [...]

Mccain, Obama, and the Ghost of Tim Russert walk into a bar…..

Hello! The ghost of Tim Russert here. In life I was a big, talking head and in death I’m literally just that. I’m a huge, floating cranium with a microphone. Oh, sweet irony. So, I’m in purgatory and one of my punishments is to be a moderator one last time. This time for RUFKM-TV. I [...]

Monkeys & Muppets: Our Financial Crisis Explained

Our current economic state (recession) can be overwhelming and difficult to comprehend as your 401K gets reduced to the street value of a half-eaten Twinkie.   As RUFKM Worldwide Inc. is one of the Internet’s top sources for financial news, we dispatched two of our drop dead gorgeous interns to research this subject. Luckily, they [...]

M-ass-ter Cleanse

The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post.  Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system.  Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]

RUFKM : Quenching the Planet’s Thirst for Knowledge since 2008!

Since the beginning of time, man has been an inquisitive beast on an endless quest for knowledge. This pursuit led to scientific and artistic achievements like the invention of the wheel, the Polio vaccine, landing on the moon, Garbage Pail Kids trading cards, the ShamWow! and, of course, the Freedom Rock commercial.    RUFKM is proud [...]

Bob Rock Remixes Metallica’s Death Magnetic

(Quick Advertisement: RUFKM has signed an exclusive agreement with Amazon.com that gives our fans free Express 2 -Day shipping on anything you order! Look at the ad on your left for more details. Get what you want – Fast!) While RUFKM cannot confirm this is actually Bob Rock, whoever did the above remix of “Broken, [...]

Pure, Inc. “Parasites & Worms”

Let’s face it. American rock-n-roll and its most excellent sub-genre of metal is dead. Finished. Kaput. Finito. Over. What killed it is up to much debate. Some claim it was the grunge scene, others Limp Bizkit while even more claim that it was the fraud perpetuated by the evil empire of American Idol. From these [...]

Kneel before Zubaz!

It’s not every day you meet your hero.

He works in a tire store, he wears zebra striped Zubaz pants, and he is my personal Jesus.

Welcome to the Bungle – The Third Unofficial Review of Chinese Democracy

So now we come to the final of our three reviews for Chinese Democracy. Like my esteemed colleagues I hold Appetite for Destruction in the highest regard, and put the Use Your Illusion albums in my list of the top 20 all time greats. No such list currently exists, but if it DID, Appetite would [...]