Let it be known that John Allen, lead singer/songwriter  of Charm City Devils, is one cool dude.  Somehow, his interview actually made the writers of RUFKM enjoy Charm City Devils’ debut album, So Let’s Rock and Roll, even more.  It’s one of those interviews that make you root for the band to succeed on their way to world domination.

Listen, we get countless requests at RUFKM to do our trademarked “13 Stupid Questions.”  Publicists flood our mailbox with CDs, T-Shirts, and free concert tickets to bribe us to send their clients our famous list of questions.  However, we only choose to send questions to bands we actually like.  Unfortunately, the results are sometimes not exactly great and there are tons of interviews we’ve refused to publish.

Why, you ask?  Because when we send our “13 Stupid Questions” we often get responses that are dripping with vanity and have a high degree of douchebaggery.  We actually get answers where we can tell that the band members have no sense of humor and are actually offended.

“Are You Fucking Kidding Me?”  It’s called “13 Stupid Questions!”

We got the exact opposite response with John.

A couple weeks ago, we received Charm City Devils’ debut album from Dave at 10th Street Entertainment.  The majority of the writers at RUFKM were already somewhat familiar with the band since we knew that Nikki Sixx had handpicked them to open this summer on CrueFest 2.  Plus, we’d all (legally) downloaded their single “So Let’s Rock & Roll.”

Before John fronted Charm City Devils, he was the drummer for SR-71, a band named after the Lockheed SR-71, an airplane invisible to radar.  We find this ironic as the band SR-71 was an invisible band and, just like the stealth aircraft, is now retired.

But this was all for the best as it led to the formation of Charm City Devils.  When John got back from performing at Ohio’s 2-Day Fest “Rock at the Range” he sat down to answer our fine questions.

So, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERES JOHNNY!

1.  Please respond to the rampant rumors that before the late Bon Scott was the lead singer of AC/DC, he was a milkman in your mother’s neighborhood.  While hearing about these “Dirty Deeds” may be disturbing, it may explain your singing style.

It could be true… I am adopted and I like milk!  Hmmmm, I don’t have the Aussie accent though (or a Scottish one for that matter).

2.  In the beginning of “Pour Me” you ask for cowbell and we get cowbell.  Thank you, it’s about damn time cowbell gets the recognition it deserves but just like Christopher Walken, we still need more.  When can we expect an “All Fucking Cowbell!” remix of your album?

The record company has actually just asked me to drop everything I am doing to work on that very thing!  Expect it in early 2020!!!!

3.  Our research indicates that you named your name after an amalgamation of your favorite TV shows and movies; Charmed, Sex In the City and The Devil Wears Prada.  Would “Sex Prada Witches” have been a better name. In addition, did your girlfriend make you do this?

Yes, she did make me do this!  I try to please the ladies whenever I can (which is not very often unfortunately)!

4.  After spending over 20 years as the lead singer of the Goo Goo   Dolls, what made you decide to start a new band?  That song on the City  of Angels soundtrack was very heart touching.

I had recently had the cleft removed from my chin so I thought I might start a new – as it were!  Besides, I wanted my inner Bon to come out.

 

5.  You signed with Eleven Seven Music, a kingdom ruled by “Musical Svengali” Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue.  As you
were formally a drummer for SR-71, were you tempted to sign with  Tommy Lee instead so your album could sound as spectacular as Methods   of Mayhem?

Tommy AND Nikki are the MANS!!!!

6.   Baltimore, or “Charm City,” is apparently the home of beehive beauty contests,   Edgar Allan Poe’s house and the American Visionary Museum.  Is the   song “10,000 Miles” how far you wish you could be away from this   insanity?

LOLLOLOLOL!!!! OMFG!

7.  What’s is a more painful memory for you, Cal Ripken retiring or   hearing Hinder live on tour?

Gotta be COW retarrering (as close as I can get to the phonetic spelling of Baltimorese!

8.  You were once the drummer of SR-71, a band often confused with   Blink 182, Matchbox 20, and 76E213, the numbers on my license plate.    How do you respond to “professional pin cushion” Courtney Love’s outrageous   claim that “drummers shouldn’t sing?”

So she HAS heard me sing! SHIT!

9.  Your are one demanding son of a bitch.  In just one song you say
“Can I get a Hell Yeah? Can I get Good Lord?  Can I get a 1, 2?”  That is quite a list.    What do we get in return if we comply to your ridiculous requests?

Crabs.  NOOooooooo, the blue ones that live in Chesapeake bay!  We steam em and eat em here in da “land o pleasant living”.  Oh yeah, and some Natty Boh!

10.  In addition, in another song you also state “I’m gonna set this house a fire! I’m gonna burn this building down!” Is this what happens when you get a “1″ but not a “2?”  Seriously, what the fuck is your problem?

I’m hot.  And when I’m not – I’m cold as ice.  (FYI – this is a reference to the AC/DC obscure track “Problem Child.”   More proof that the late Bon Scott is his father and played this song while John was playing with Legos. )

11. You are opening for CrueFest 2 playing at about 5pm.  Your shift is in the middle of the day when half the crowd has arrived, mostly sober, and the majority of the audience has probably never heard of Charm City Devils. Will you resort to cheap tactics like spitting blood, ripping the head of a bat, or running around nude wearing a tube sock on your frank and beans to  grab everyone’s attention?

WHAT!??!!  Oh wait, you said the crowd is mostly sober…. Oh shit, we’re fucked dude!  We do have a few weeks before we leave — I was thinking we could have a 20 Foot Dragon fire lasers from his mouth and explode flash pots all over the stage!  Too much?

12.   Do you realize that you are not listed on Wikipedia yet?  This
means you do not exist and also makes it difficult for hack journalists (us) to pretend
to know a lot about the band.   Please explain this oversight and correct it immediately… if not sooner.

I am suprised! 10-4!  Our crack staff is on it!
13.  How late did you stay up at night before coming up with the   thought provoking chorus “So let’s Rock and Roll, I’m just an   endless road,  I guess I sold my soul.”  We’re guessing 9:45 PM,   tops.  Also, your clever ruse of rhyming “roll” and “road” did not work with us. Nice try.

This is the best interview I have done YET!  Where you guys at Rock at the Range?

Readers, go buy Let’s Rock and Roll and  see the Charm City Devils and their 20 foot dragon this summer on Crue Fest 2!  Link to purchase their album and their latest video below.