“Do you like cheese?” Classic phone prank now a major motion picture

This article was originally published almost 2 years ago.  It’s popularity rose to such heights that we were contacted by xtranormal.com to use our script in their marketing efforts.  Here is the movie and the original article that inspired it.  Since you are probably reading this at work we have posted two version of the [...]

Insipid Comment Lifetime Achievement Award

Throughout my entire life, I’ve been relentlessly barraged by all forms of buffoonery. Sometimes to such an extent that I’m convinced I must be paying a cosmic penance for some horrific crime committed in a prior life as the incessant torrent of ceaseless ridiculousness manifests daily in unwanted conversations that I’m forced to endure. Much like [...]

Jani Lane of Warrant hates Internet, prefers telegraph, smoke signals

There are very few times when our request for our “13 Stupid Questions” interview is refused from a band’s management/publicist.  Sure, we get the occasional decline, but most artists are thrilled to participate in a series of questions that don’t bore them to death like most interviews. However, one rock star has proven to be quite elusive. Is it Kid Rock? [...]

Multiple uses discovered for phrase “And Then I F—ed Her!”

Do you know someone who asks you questions and then never listens to the answer? How about when you’re in the middle of a speech and you can tell your audience is beginning to drift off? Have you tried to be funny and failed miserably? Perhaps just like this website? Well, RUFKM has a solution for all these problems.  It’s called: OPERATION [...]

Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

Perusing the Sunday paper this weekend by complete happenchance I inadvertently stumbled upon an advertisement that so annoyed and frightened me that I could no longer read the riveting and I’m sure entirely factual articles explaining why Barack Obama should be made eternal King and Savior of the United States of America and why John [...]

99.9% chance the driver next to you has no insurance

There are many clear indications that the driver next to you has absolutely no insurance. If they choose to swerve towards you in traffic and the only way to avoid them is to go directly into a ditch, choose the ditch. Dirt is softer, Mother Nature carries better liability coverage, and you will avoid an [...]

Yes, I pulled the f—ing handle!

Earlier this week I awoke and went about my daily routine . I get up ridiculously early so my daily routine consists of brushing my teeth and trying not to fall asleep in the shower. Then I dress and head downstairs in pitch blackness with the stealth of a ninja at 5am so as not [...]

Matt Damon: Political Analyst of the Gods

I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve tried not to engage in frivolous conversations about the upcoming presidential election, but I’ve reached my breaking point. This particularly dull point is Matt Damon. I have, luckily, been able to avoid all things Damon for quite some time now, but recently he has taken up political punditry [...]

Bike Shorts AKA “Heck’s Angels”

I’ve been, with some obvious trepidation and annoyance, observing a curious phenomenon in the suburbs of late. It is the rise of the “biker gang”. No, I’m not talking of the biker gangs from the 70’s like the Hell’s Angels or their likeminded ilk cruising the boulevards to the glorious roar of their V-Twins amplified [...]

Craig’s List Chronicles: Bring me the head of Craig Newmark

Before I moved last year, I have to admit that I was completely oblivious of the world famous Craig’s List. I had sold my prized possessions through EBay several times but never stumbled across this marvelous economic environment.