Boondoggle and the Bees: The Six-Day War

Bees Suck. They suck even more when you happen to be one of those unfortunate individuals that when you’re stung by one of the little terrorists you blow up like Martin Short in Pure Luck and then die a slow and agonizing death. I’m Martin Short. Not in the way that I have no career, [...]

New Great White album a flamethrower of flaming crap

I think I found the worst album ever. It is Great White’s newest release Rising. It is so bad that not only did I delete it from my most recent playlist, I think I’m going to completely remove it from my library because it is so bad that I don’t want to risk ever having [...]

Jani Lane of Warrant hates Internet, prefers telegraph, smoke signals

There are very few times when our request for our “13 Stupid Questions” interview is refused from a band’s management/publicist.  Sure, we get the occasional decline, but most artists are thrilled to participate in a series of questions that don’t bore them to death like most interviews. However, one rock star has proven to be quite elusive. Is it Kid Rock? [...]

13 Stupid Questions with the Charm City Devils

Let it be known that John Allen, lead singer/songwriter  of Charm City Devils, is one cool dude.  Somehow, his interview actually made the writers of RUFKM enjoy Charm City Devils’ debut album, So Let’s Rock and Roll, even more.  It’s one of those interviews that make you root for the band to succeed on their way to world domination. [...]

13 Stupid Questions answered by…umm… The Answer

About a year ago while perusing a local “classic rock” station a sound both strangely familiar but entirely new began to emit from the speakers of my car. I immediately lunged towards the volume knob to crank the volume to 11, proceeded to sing like a fool while simultaneously banging my head like a crack-addict. [...]

13 Stupid Questions with The Last Vegas

Have you ever asked yourself: “What would Motley Crue sound like if they did not have Vince Neil stumbling around the stage incoherently mumbling the lyrics to their greatest hits and instead hired Josh Todd of Buckcherry as their lead singer?” No. How about dreaming of a band that redefines sleaze, brings back the Sunset Strip in all its glory and offers original and insightful [...]

Extreme’s Album Porno graffiti: The Crystal Pepsi of Rock

I recently dusted off a copy of Extreme II: Pornograffiti. I hadn’t listened to the album in about a decade.  I remember that I owned this album for over a year before the steaming turd of “More than Words” was unleashed on society.  This reminded me about the importance of branding.  The first impression you have with a product or service [...]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and [...]

Monkeys & Muppets: Our Financial Crisis Explained

Our current economic state (recession) can be overwhelming and difficult to comprehend as your 401K gets reduced to the street value of a half-eaten Twinkie.   As RUFKM Worldwide Inc. is one of the Internet’s top sources for financial news, we dispatched two of our drop dead gorgeous interns to research this subject. Luckily, they [...]

Headline: Mccain Licks Obama, Attempts Ass Grab

They say that a picture says a thousand words.  Good.  This saves me a hell of a lot of time.   In the last few minutes of last nights final presidential debate, when Mccain and Obama dragged their wives on stage and acted like they both didn’t want to stab each other in the neck, [...]

Houston, we have a problem: E.T. is not an idiot

Great, here we go again. Another wacko coming out and proclaiming that aliens are invading the earth and randomly performing anal probing on unsuspecting humans, eviscerating livestock and creating magical designs in our corn fields. But wait, this isn’t any wacko but former astronaut but former Apollo 14 crewmember and one of only 17 people [...]

For those about to write…We Salute You! (Boom)

A big toast to all of you crazy fans out there! We have received some great letters about our stories! We also feel that RUFKM Inc. needed to make a brief announcement about RUFKM’s main contributors: Dr. Boondoggle. and Mr. Cannon. Both of us love reading our fan mail. Since there is so much, we [...]