KISS – Sonic Boom Album Review

Before you read this, read “True Confessions of a KISS-aholic” to understand how the hell the clowns at RUFKM obtained a copy of Sonic Boom and why we are wasting time writing a review.  Or don’t. RUFKM received Sonic Boom at our headquarters yesterday.  This was a complete surprise.  Since then, I have listened to [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Jason McMaster of Broken Teeth, Dangerous Toys

The economy has taken it’s toll on many industries, but nobody has been hit harder than the publicity department at Broken Teeth LLC. It is quite sad, but this company cannot even afford plastic cases or original copies of it’s artists music. Broken Teeth is one of several lesser known bands playing on Shiprocked, a rock and [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Drowning Pool

A few weeks ago, we were given the opportunity to interview Drowning Pool’s “lead singer of the week”  Ryan Mccombs.   Drowning Pool is playing at this summer’s Cruefest 2 with previous “13 Stupid Questions” participants Charm City Devils. However, all the band members look like convicted felons and do not look like they can [...]

Yanni, Boxing the Clown, and Airborne Chairs – Your Sports Week in Review

By Ceon Foosheys   In an effort to be as vain as possible, I will now be compiling the weekly best-of-RUFKM Sports Twitter post, deciding which of my own brilliant tweets deserves more attention.  Instead of simply copying and pasting all of the tweets from the past week and calling it a day, I will [...]

13 Stupid Questions with ANTHRAX

        For those about to FARK, we salute you!  If you came here from FARK.COM, and like this interview, check out more “13 Stupid Questions” HERE or on our homepage.    Since 1981, Anthrax has had more lead singers than Van Halen, been pressured to change their name, and had the worst [...]

Fantasy Fest: Painted Nipples Approved, Toy Weapons Banned

The following is an “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” Classic.  We have been too busy interviewing rock stars as of late for  our “13 Stupid Questions” series. For now, enjoy an insane tale of the RUFKM Crew in Key West last Halloween. Also, for the record, Key West does not have a governor, it has a [...]

The Origin Of Obama

Everyone loves an origin story.  Spiderman, The Hulk etc., comic books and superhero movies are famous for them. Here’s another one: David Plouffe is being the best political campaign manager EVER and the proof is that Obama is able to take a huge daily dump in the White House bathroom. David is  the dude pictured to [...]

Clowns to the Left of Me, Molesters to the Right

Ever wonder about what hijinks your obnoxious neighbor is up to? It’s bad enough simply trying to avoid them on a daily basis, but being subject to their inane questions is almost to much to handle. A brief summary of some of the more ridiculous questions I’ve been exposed to recently: “Is it hot enough [...]

Barack Hussein Obama Elected 44th U.S. President. Really?

Barack is our new president.   Whether you voted for him or not, there is only one socially acceptable response after hearing this fact: All together now……… Are You F—ing Kidding Me? Well, it looks like America really likes Greek columns, infomercials (The Sham-Wow is incredible), celebrity endorsements, and hated George Bush (we all did). [...]

Autograph of the Gods

Being the great Captain Boondoggle is exhausting.   But of course with such greatness, comes even greater responsibility. Responsibilities that include answering the emails, letters and other assorted requests of my ever-growing fanbase of Boondogglites. To stay ahead of the curve and to determine what next burden my celebrity status will bring me, I’ve been [...]

Heteros for Homos- RUFKM Vs. The Westboro Baptist Church

RUFKM needs a cause.Fortunately for our RUFKM ARMY cadets, while Cannon harasses our fans on Facebook, TylerDFC performs obscure historical research on the Gulf of Tonkin incident for his next post, and The Dark Lord is doing, well, we’re not quite sure, your esteemed Captain is out doing the important stuff for you. All important [...]

Kneel before Zubaz!

It’s not every day you meet your hero.

He works in a tire store, he wears zebra striped Zubaz pants, and he is my personal Jesus.

Use Your Delusion

Amazon.com Widgets When the RUFKM offices received an unmarked FedEx envelope with a return address simply marked at “Malibu, CA” we were quite alarmed at first. Could it be another hate letter from the bike racers? Perhaps the Dark Lord had sent us a sample of his own excrement, again. Or perhaps was it something [...]