Saturday, December 20, 2014

“Do you like cheese?” Classic phone prank now a major motion picture

This article was originally published almost 2 years ago.  It’s popularity rose to such heights that we were contacted by to use our script in their marketing efforts.  Here is the movie and the original article that inspired it.  Since you are probably reading this at work we have posted two version of the […]

Eagle Eye written and directed by stoned third graders

(This post is satire and as such consists of a long rambling mess of nonsense and words randomly strung together that is meant to be a stirring tribute to TylerDFC and his obsession of bad movies. As an added bonus this is Chief Idiot Loose Cannon’s favorite movie and he raves about it constantly!) Eagle Eye: […]

Cannon Goes to Europe, Causes International Incident

RUFKM, Inc. Chief Executive Clown, Loose Cannon is currently embarking on his first ever trip to Europe without the comfort and protection of adult supervision and his obnoxious Tickle-Me Elmo doll. This has caused me great joy beyond all belief, not the least of it due to the fact that he does not believe his cell […]

Boondoggle and the Bees: The Six-Day War

Bees Suck. They suck even more when you happen to be one of those unfortunate individuals that when you’re stung by one of the little terrorists you blow up like Martin Short in Pure Luck and then die a slow and agonizing death. I’m Martin Short. Not in the way that I have no career, […]

13 Stupid Questions with Queensryche

Shiprocked is a cruise departing in November from Ft. Lauderdale that features Queensryche, Skid Row, Tesla, Ratt and others. Several months ago, as part of our Shiprocked promotion, we got in contact with Queensryche’s manager, Jeff at Rock Star PR. After several rounds of emails, their manager graciously sent a copy of American Soldier and agreed that […]

The Legend of Obama Burgundy: His teleprompter works 60% of the time, all the time

July 25, 2009 by  
Filed under Politics, Sort of New Content, Top Picture

It is a well documented fact that President  Obama takes his teleprompter EVERYWHERE.  He doesn’t just use it for speeches, but takes it to interviews, meetings, etc.  According to sources the times he has NOT brought his teleprompter with him, his speeches have been awful and he even enunciates the wrong words and says the […]

Bored out of their minds, Alaska hosts mustache and beard contest

There are many contests that make my mind melt.  Hot dog eating contests and the Olympic “sport” of trampolining come to mind first. However, these events are nothing compared to the pure insanity of what happens when you are a resident of our 50th state, Alaska.  When you’re sick of killing moose, driving around in […]

13 Stupid Questions with Pop Evil

Before you read this interview, you should know that RUFKM and Pop Evil have a rich history together.  In the beginning of 2009, Boondoggle had recommended their new album Lipstick on the Mirror,  so TylerDFC and I bought a copy and it was pretty damn good. Hell, Boondoggle even wrote an in depth review of […]

Purchased a Dell? Welcome to Hell.

I recently contributed to our economy by purchasing a Dell laptop computer.  We had an HP laptop that was quite battered after 5 years from my wife’s business and the crazy amount of papers she has to write for grad school.  Because of this, she had started using my iMac.  This was an unacceptable situation […]

Axl Rose and Best Buy negotiation revealed for failed Chinese Democracy release

Last November, Axl made the decision to have Chinese Democracy ONLY AVAILABLE at Best Buy.   At that time,  Loose Cannon, Captain Boondoggle, and TylerDFC, the braintrust and majority stockholders of RUFKM Worldwide Inc., each reviewed the album for your reading pleasure: Appetite for Deconstruction Use Your Delusion Welcome to the Bungle That was then, this is […]

Steve Jobs Gets Brain Cancer, iTunes Employees Lose Sense of Humor

As a world-renowned celebrity, Captain Boondoggle receives a multitude of fan mail from the much less fortunate wanting to know more about the Great Boondoggle.   For many, this hero worship is so great that they want to completely comprehend and fully grasp the power and magnificence of what it is to be Boondoggle.      […]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and […]

The Greatest Telemarketer Phone Prank Ever: “What Does A Police Siren Sound Like?”

 The mind-boggling antics employed by Captain Boondoggle’s Do You Like Cheese? telemarketer phone prank has resulted in the incessant calls to Boondoggle’s Bungalow to vanish faster than Gene Simmon’s fake hair after a shower.   Apparently, the Boondoggle’s Do You Like Cheese? routine’s brilliant obfuscation causes utter panic in the minds of the lesser telemarketer […]

GNR releases slew of new albums, most involve banjos, harps

March 22, 2009 by  
Filed under Music

Inspired by Cannon’s recent posts on long-forgotten musical gems in the world of rock, I decided to go on my own fishing expedition to find a long ago cast aside album that I too could possibly rediscover and add to my superb collection of hair metal silliness.     With the risk of RUFKM becoming a […]

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace Captain Boondoggle lost a friend today.  Not lost, like Cannon lost his brother on his bachelor’s party or TylerDFC lost his mind the same night, but lost as in dead, finito, over, kicked the bucket, never-to-return.  He died.  He’s dead.  He’s not coming back. If you are looking for unbridled […]

RUFKM senses world Nookie crisis, reunites Limp Bizkit

February 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Sort of New Content

Where has the great, all knowing, positively spectacular, monkey-hating, mocker of all things, ruggedly handsome, cunningly charming, refreshingly hubris lacking Captain Boondoggle been? Rehab? No. Solving the pet monkey crisis? Not yet. Resurrecting my childhood acting career? No. Better than all those things, plus a few you haven’t yet thought of, combined. I, the Glorious […]

Will the Real Bret Michaels Please Stand Up?

I love 80’s concerts. Not for the $10 beers, aging rockers or even the music, but for providing the opportunity to observe, in a relatively safe setting, some of mankind’s more unusual examples of tomfoolery. The S.S. Boondoggle embarked on another such voyage a few weeks back and all aboard were more than satisfied of […]

Dr. Feelgood’s Bar & Swill

February 9, 2009 by  
Filed under Concerts, Clubs, Chaos, Music

Cannon and Boondoggle walk into a bar. Not just any bar, but the fabled and much hyped Vince Neil owned and sponsored “Dr. Feelgood’s Bar & Grill” in West Palm Beach, FL ( A quick puddle-jump in the RUFKM Corporate jet brought Captain Boondoggle to take in the sights and sounds with Cannon of the […]

Oscar confirmed to be an F—ing idiot

February 6, 2009 by  
Filed under TylerDFC's Tomfoolery

Holy Kung-Fu Panda shit, where to start? Well, let’s just get this out of the way first. This will be the lowest rated Oscar telecast EVER. You heard it here people and if I’m wrong I owe you a nickel. Proving once again that the members of the Academy of Motion Picture Wankery are complete […]

Dark Horse Album Review: 11 New Nickelback Classics!

Let it be known that Chad Kroeger is a horny Canadian motherfucker. I know this because I can smell my own (minus the Canadian part) and I also conducted painstaking research that led me to this conclusion.  My first clue that the lascivious lead singer of Nickelback highly enjoys vagina and throat love can be summed […]

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