Return of InterBrain: Charlie Sheen Thanks America’s Firefighters.

Thank you for saving me. You are beautiful and hot, and you are every bit as hot as you are beautiful.

Year of the Ferret (part 1)

Enjoy the first of a 3 part RUFKM Classic.  The finale, Part 4, is finally being written.  In the meantime, refresh yourself with one of the greatest stories ever told.      Authors Note:  “Some tales of idiocy are just too epic and incredible to be contained in one post and I respect your ADD. Remember: It’s funny because [...]

The Legend of Obama Burgundy: His teleprompter works 60% of the time, all the time

It is a well documented fact that President  Obama takes his teleprompter EVERYWHERE.  He doesn’t just use it for speeches, but takes it to interviews, meetings, etc.  According to sources the times he has NOT brought his teleprompter with him, his speeches have been awful and he even enunciates the wrong words and says the [...]

Shark Zone – Adventures in stock footage

By TylerDFC Danny Wagner: “I hate sharks, they suck.” Jimmy Wagner: “Yes, they do.” I like to take notes when I am watching movies so that when I sit down to write about them I won’t be forced to make stuff up off the top of my head. While watching Shark Zone I began to [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Atarilogic

Yo. While most (read: all) of our “13 Stupid Questions” interviews have been geared towards hard rock, our staff has a diverse taste in music — especially artists with a great sense of humor.                                         So, [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Pop Evil

Before you read this interview, you should know that RUFKM and Pop Evil have a rich history together.  In the beginning of 2009, Boondoggle had recommended their new album Lipstick on the Mirror,  so TylerDFC and I bought a copy and it was pretty damn good. Hell, Boondoggle even wrote an in depth review of [...]

Yanni, Boxing the Clown, and Airborne Chairs – Your Sports Week in Review

By Ceon Foosheys   In an effort to be as vain as possible, I will now be compiling the weekly best-of-RUFKM Sports Twitter post, deciding which of my own brilliant tweets deserves more attention.  Instead of simply copying and pasting all of the tweets from the past week and calling it a day, I will [...]

Defective banana hammocks, magical ponies, and the Bobby Knight bitch slap

Here are all the  ”RUFKM?” moments in  sports.  These are compiled weekly from Ceon Fooshey’s constantly updated Sports Twitter on the side of this page.  Also, check out his spectacular site by clicking on the monkey with a baseball bat or click HERE.  Also, if you happend to be from the Netherlands and are thinking about [...]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and [...]

How to get FREE Starbucks!

These are tough economic times.  Everyday you hear about how many billions of dollars are spent but, just like everyone, you’re thinking:  Where’s my personal bail out? Well, RUFKM has you covered.  The “Latte Factor” has hit Americans hard and they have cut out such luxuries like Starbucks out of their budget.  Not the editors [...]

RUFKM Scientifically Proven to be Wise Asses!

That’s right, bitches! According to the scientific blog analysis site as listed above, RUFKM.NET has achieved a reading level of COLLEGE (POST-GRAD)! And it’s all a result of the mastery of the English language that your Lyrical Maestro Boondoggle provides to you free of charge. As stated in our mission statement, we take our tomfoolery [...]

Sick and Tired

I’m sick. Not in a going-out-on-the-town-in-a-Little-Bo-Peep outfit-stalking-coeds-so-I-can-stab-them-in-the-eyes-with-a-screwdriver sick, but a cough-cough-hack-hack-groan-ugh-leave-me-the-fuck-alone sick. I don’t know how I got this way. I was fine, then the weather changed and now it feels like I have an anvil on my chest, my throat is lined with razor blades, and I have the attention span of Loose Cannon [...]

Hello! Your Government Here!! Have you made awful decisions in life? Don’t worry, we’ll bail you out!

Hello! How are you doing? This is your government speaking and I would like to talk to you about a few pressing issues.  Do you have no ambition in life? Are you a blood sucking leach of society? Have you made the business decisions of someone who thinks 2 + 2 = Jello? Have you [...]

M-ass-ter Cleanse

The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post.  Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system.  Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]

RUFKM Quiz: What’s green, smells bad, and will KILL YOU?

I’m about to do something here on RUFKM that has never been done before. An occasion so momentous, so stupefying in its’ audacity, that this website will be shaken to the very foundation! What is this landmark event you ask? I, TylerDFC, the power behind the RUFKM throne will finally FINISH A STORY. I know, [...]