Sharp Teeth – The war on terror comes home.

Sharp Teeth Cinema Craptastique review by TylerDFC I very seriously considered turning Sharp Teeth off several times. While Cinema Craptastique is dedicated to judging crap films, Sharp Teeth is SO terrible that it barely qualifies as a movie at all and functions more as a torture device. The plot has something to do with a [...]

Not locking bathroom door at work leads to shame, emotional scarring

I always knock on bathroom doors. I didn’t always do this, but I have continued this courteous tradition for almost 10 years. Sometimes people simply forget to lock the door, or the lock is broken. This current tale of insanity involves a backstory of WHY. Let me begin.

The Legend of Obama Burgundy: His teleprompter works 60% of the time, all the time

It is a well documented fact that President  Obama takes his teleprompter EVERYWHERE.  He doesn’t just use it for speeches, but takes it to interviews, meetings, etc.  According to sources the times he has NOT brought his teleprompter with him, his speeches have been awful and he even enunciates the wrong words and says the [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Jason McMaster of Broken Teeth, Dangerous Toys

The economy has taken it’s toll on many industries, but nobody has been hit harder than the publicity department at Broken Teeth LLC. It is quite sad, but this company cannot even afford plastic cases or original copies of it’s artists music. Broken Teeth is one of several lesser known bands playing on Shiprocked, a rock and [...]

Shark Zone – Adventures in stock footage

By TylerDFC Danny Wagner: “I hate sharks, they suck.” Jimmy Wagner: “Yes, they do.” I like to take notes when I am watching movies so that when I sit down to write about them I won’t be forced to make stuff up off the top of my head. While watching Shark Zone I began to [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Drowning Pool

A few weeks ago, we were given the opportunity to interview Drowning Pool’s “lead singer of the week”  Ryan Mccombs.   Drowning Pool is playing at this summer’s Cruefest 2 with previous “13 Stupid Questions” participants Charm City Devils. However, all the band members look like convicted felons and do not look like they can [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Atarilogic

Yo. While most (read: all) of our “13 Stupid Questions” interviews have been geared towards hard rock, our staff has a diverse taste in music — especially artists with a great sense of humor.                                         So, [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Pop Evil

Before you read this interview, you should know that RUFKM and Pop Evil have a rich history together.  In the beginning of 2009, Boondoggle had recommended their new album Lipstick on the Mirror,  so TylerDFC and I bought a copy and it was pretty damn good. Hell, Boondoggle even wrote an in depth review of [...]

Purchased a Dell? Welcome to Hell.

I recently contributed to our economy by purchasing a Dell laptop computer.  We had an HP laptop that was quite battered after 5 years from my wife’s business and the crazy amount of papers she has to write for grad school.  Because of this, she had started using my iMac.  This was an unacceptable situation [...]

13 Stupid Questions with The Last Vegas

Have you ever asked yourself: “What would Motley Crue sound like if they did not have Vince Neil stumbling around the stage incoherently mumbling the lyrics to their greatest hits and instead hired Josh Todd of Buckcherry as their lead singer?” No. How about dreaming of a band that redefines sleaze, brings back the Sunset Strip in all its glory and offers original and insightful [...]

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon – AKA BEST SHARK MOVIE EVER!!!*

“You know sharks, they are always biting things.” – Ben Every now and then a movie comes along that is so bad, it becomes good. This happens pretty rarely. Usually when someone says a movie is “bad”, they really mean “average’. Unfortunately, a true cinematic travesty is as hard to find as a good Adam [...]

The Gyno Chronicles: Double P, Discharge, and Decadence (Part 2)

  This is part 2 of “The Gyno Chronicles.”  Read Part 1 HERE.  I was glad to see I had a new lesbian “gyno” who was in love with me. She had the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen in my life. She was a bigger woman in general, but her rack was monstrous. After she [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Pure, Inc.

Thus far, Dave Rude of Tesla and Frank Bello of Anthrax have subjected themselves to our world famous “13 Stupid Questions.” As a result, they have become internet sensations and both have seen a huge increase in album sales. Naturally, other bands have been begging to also be interviewed. So, now we are proud to [...]

The Gyno Chronicles: Double P, Discharge and Decadence

Why is it that every gynecologist I’ve ever had is intent on making me feel uncomfortable? It’s truly their mission in life. I stopped going to my regular gyno because of this miserable little fact. I had him for several years and liked him well enough. He knew all about my sex life and everything [...]

Fantasy Fest: Painted Nipples Approved, Toy Weapons Banned

The following is an “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” Classic.  We have been too busy interviewing rock stars as of late for  our “13 Stupid Questions” series. For now, enjoy an insane tale of the RUFKM Crew in Key West last Halloween. Also, for the record, Key West does not have a governor, it has a [...]

Defective banana hammocks, magical ponies, and the Bobby Knight bitch slap

Here are all the  ”RUFKM?” moments in  sports.  These are compiled weekly from Ceon Fooshey’s constantly updated Sports Twitter on the side of this page.  Also, check out his spectacular site by clicking on the monkey with a baseball bat or click HERE.  Also, if you happend to be from the Netherlands and are thinking about [...]

Steve Jobs Gets Brain Cancer, iTunes Employees Lose Sense of Humor

As a world-renowned celebrity, Captain Boondoggle receives a multitude of fan mail from the much less fortunate wanting to know more about the Great Boondoggle.   For many, this hero worship is so great that they want to completely comprehend and fully grasp the power and magnificence of what it is to be Boondoggle.      [...]

Major League Baseball authorizes new performance-dehancing products to combat steriod use

  Major League Baseball is in full swing right now.  However, nothing captured the headlines more than the offseason steriods scandal of Alex Rodriguez.  To hopefully shed some light on the situation,  RUFKM recently got the chance to sit down with Victor Conte, founder and president of Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (BALCO). VICTOR: Thanks for having me, Acorn [...]

The exciting finale of “Bad things don’t come in threes, they come in twelves”

(Part 2 of 2.  To read part 1, click HERE.) The next Monday I got a call from Saab saying my baby was ready. Awesome news! I had to pay only the $500 deductible. So off to the bank I went to get my money. I had to go during working hours due to the [...]

Bad Things Don’t Come in Threes, They Come In Twelves

So, a couple Fridays ago, I’m driving to work from my ex boyfriend’s house (we have amazing sex and I can’t stop doing it even though it effects my heart in a major way), and a semi’s tire de-treads in front of the car that’s in front of mine. Said car quickly and instinctively swerves [...]

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