Boondoggle and the Bees: The Six-Day War

Bees Suck. They suck even more when you happen to be one of those unfortunate individuals that when you’re stung by one of the little terrorists you blow up like Martin Short in Pure Luck and then die a slow and agonizing death. I’m Martin Short. Not in the way that I have no career, [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Drowning Pool

A few weeks ago, we were given the opportunity to interview Drowning Pool’s “lead singer of the week”  Ryan Mccombs.   Drowning Pool is playing at this summer’s Cruefest 2 with previous “13 Stupid Questions” participants Charm City Devils. However, all the band members look like convicted felons and do not look like they can [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Atarilogic

Yo. While most (read: all) of our “13 Stupid Questions” interviews have been geared towards hard rock, our staff has a diverse taste in music — especially artists with a great sense of humor.                                         So, [...]

13 Stupid Questions answered by…umm… The Answer

About a year ago while perusing a local “classic rock” station a sound both strangely familiar but entirely new began to emit from the speakers of my car. I immediately lunged towards the volume knob to crank the volume to 11, proceeded to sing like a fool while simultaneously banging my head like a crack-addict. [...]

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon – AKA BEST SHARK MOVIE EVER!!!*

“You know sharks, they are always biting things.” – Ben Every now and then a movie comes along that is so bad, it becomes good. This happens pretty rarely. Usually when someone says a movie is “bad”, they really mean “average’. Unfortunately, a true cinematic travesty is as hard to find as a good Adam [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Al Jourgensen of Ministry, etc.

We have had endless debates at the RUFKM headquarters of who would be best suited for candidates for our world famous “13 Stupid Questions.”  However, since we began this series of ridiculous Q&A, one man was always at the top of the list. Al Jourgensen, best known as as the founder and frontman of the recently [...]

Extreme’s Album Porno graffiti: The Crystal Pepsi of Rock

I recently dusted off a copy of Extreme II: Pornograffiti. I hadn’t listened to the album in about a decade.  I remember that I owned this album for over a year before the steaming turd of “More than Words” was unleashed on society.  This reminded me about the importance of branding.  The first impression you have with a product or service [...]

13 Stupid Questions with ANTHRAX

        For those about to FARK, we salute you!  If you came here from FARK.COM, and like this interview, check out more “13 Stupid Questions” HERE or on our homepage.    Since 1981, Anthrax has had more lead singers than Van Halen, been pressured to change their name, and had the worst [...]

Fantasy Fest: Painted Nipples Approved, Toy Weapons Banned

The following is an “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” Classic.  We have been too busy interviewing rock stars as of late for  our “13 Stupid Questions” series. For now, enjoy an insane tale of the RUFKM Crew in Key West last Halloween. Also, for the record, Key West does not have a governor, it has a [...]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and [...]

Bad Things Don’t Come in Threes, They Come In Twelves

So, a couple Fridays ago, I’m driving to work from my ex boyfriend’s house (we have amazing sex and I can’t stop doing it even though it effects my heart in a major way), and a semi’s tire de-treads in front of the car that’s in front of mine. Said car quickly and instinctively swerves [...]

Your Sports Week in Review: Madden retires, Rage of Hulkster, Cheerleader Revenge

  Here is all you need to know about the world compiled into 19 bulletpoints.  You can get these daily by subscribing to the Sports Twitter on your right.  Have a great weekend and enjoy the articles.  You can find the girl on your right naked through link #15.  Enjoy!   — RUFKM Worldwide Frank [...]

Air biscuits, giant burgers, and wedding dresses traded for hockey tickets

  Here is everything you need to know about the world in the last 7 days from our Twitter contributor Ceon Foosheys.  These are all real stories, mostly involving sporting shenanigans.  I highly recommend the Air Biscuit article.  I already bought three. Make sure to watch the video.  Passing air biscuits is now fully socially acceptable [...]

Oscar confirmed to be an F—ing idiot

Holy Kung-Fu Panda shit, where to start? Well, let’s just get this out of the way first. This will be the lowest rated Oscar telecast EVER. You heard it here people and if I’m wrong I owe you a nickel. Proving once again that the members of the Academy of Motion Picture Wankery are complete [...]

The Long, Dark Commercial Break of the Soul

We’ve all been there. You are at work and time has slowed to a stand still. Lunch is a distant memory and dinner is still a few hours down the line. The day is dragging like a crippled wolf gut shot from a helicopter. You are struck with an overwhelming feeling to leave the premises [...]

Headline: Mccain Licks Obama, Attempts Ass Grab

They say that a picture says a thousand words.  Good.  This saves me a hell of a lot of time.   In the last few minutes of last nights final presidential debate, when Mccain and Obama dragged their wives on stage and acted like they both didn’t want to stab each other in the neck, [...]

There’s no “I” in team!

Have you ever met a real life Michael Scott from the Office? Well I have. He’s a manager in my region, speaks only in cliche and chest bumped me yesterday. Here’s his paraphrased conversation.

M-ass-ter Cleanse

The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post.  Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system.  Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]

Yes, I pulled the f—ing handle!

Earlier this week I awoke and went about my daily routine . I get up ridiculously early so my daily routine consists of brushing my teeth and trying not to fall asleep in the shower. Then I dress and head downstairs in pitch blackness with the stealth of a ninja at 5am so as not [...]

Metallica’s New Album “Death Magnetic”

Ahh. Metallica. I probably scribbled their logo during high school boredom somewhere between 10-20 million times. Entire forests have fallen as a result of my ADD doodling. I especially liked adding a 3-D effect with my bad-ass shading technique. The first Metallica album I heard was a dubbed 90 minute Maxell Gold II tape of [...]

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