When Ryan gives a "high five" he does not mess around. He also does a hell of a fist bump.

Besides residing in a dungeon-like tour bus, Ryan and Drowning Pool put on a spectacular live performance.  Their most recent CD Loudest Common Denominator is solid but I highly recommend their last studio album Full Circle. Besides killer songs like “Shame” and “37 Stitches” they do an incredible cover of Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell.” Nope, not fucking kidding you.  This should’ve been a single.

He is also the “Robert Deniro of rock” as he completely pranks us at the end of interview.  Check it out!

* Drowning Pool has not written any songs about killing poodles.

*We do not require any integrity.

Enjoy!

(The following is an excerpt from chapter 27 of the novel “True Confessions of a KISS -aholic” available on Amazon on 10/6/09.)

The mailbox at RUFKM corporate headquarters is flooded weekly with CDs, DVDs, from bands begging to participate in our “13 Stupid Questions” or review their CDs. Some are bands we’ve heard of, some or not which is great because we get to discover new music. Most of the time these CDs have been out for awhile but occasionally we get to do an exclusive review for a band whose CD has not yet been released like JET’s Shaka Rock.

I carried the ridiculous amount of Fed Ex packages to my desk today and was shocked to find the following CD:

KISS – Sonic Boom

Go Directly to the Review HERE

A buddy of mine that runs a music site who already did a review who knows I’m a KISS junkie sent it to me. For the first time, I would hear a KISS release before the majority of the planet. Attached was the following post it note written in the worst handwriting ever:

Yo Cannon. Top Secret shit. I knew you’d want this. If you upload this, the following will happen”

* Gene Simmons will teabag you
* Empty all your bank accounts
* He will then kill your dog, burn down house

Enjoy!

"I will teabag you and then continue my quest for a decent wig."

There were a few thoughts I had about this warning. Simmons had already placed his sweaty nuts on my forehead, metaphorically speaking, with his efforts on the albums Crazy Nights, The Elder, and his solo shitfest Asshole. Paul Stanley had also left his share of pubes from his musical contributions over the last two decades.  Plus, KISS had already emptied out my bank accounts many times.  So, the only thing I had to worry about was my mutt Maggie and my home.

While staring at the cover of Sonic Boom, I reflected on how, through a 3 step process, I became a self-loathing KISS junkie.

1980: When I was 6 years old, I was first introduced to KISS through my friend Brad.  And by “friend” I mean “a dude I knew because my Mom was friends with his Mom and was constantly dragged to his house.”  Brad was 9 years old, liked to burn ants with a magnifying glass, and enjoyed shooting bottle rockets at anybody younger than him.  This included me.

This particular visit, Brad explained that he was upset and led me to the basement where his Dad had an insane custom built model train set,  a record player, and a drum kit.  He pulled out a stack of about 10 KISS albums, including the solo records,  pulled the records out the sleeves and begin throwing them around like Frisbees, ricocheting off the walls.

Gene trying to kill himself after being forced to listen to The Elder and Peter Criss's solo album.

Brad: I hate these guys.  Peter Criss just left the group and all their music sucks now.

Me: Who?

Brad: KISS!  You’ve never heard of them?  The drummer left and now they got some other guy but it’s over for me.

I tried to relate to Brad by thinking how I would feel if Animal left the Muppets.

Brad picked the already cracked records off the floor and placed them on his drum set.  With a crazed look, he performed a 10 minute drum solo instructing me to keep feeding him the records until he smashed them all into little vinyl shards.  We then took all the bits out to the woods, and set fire to them as Brad cackled.  Then I think he fried some more ants.

Nope, I’m not fucking kidding you.  I never hung out with Brad again.

1983: I was with my Mom and brother at a old style diner that had the mini jukeboxes on the table where you could flip through about 30 songs and make your selection.  I was granted a quarter, I made my selection, and my Mom stared daggers at me while the song played.

Mom: Loose, who is this?

Me: It’s KISS!  Remember Brad ?  He introduced me.  This song’s called Lick It Up!  Lick it Up!  Ah ah ah!

Mom: Never play this again.

I didn’t realize I was playing an ode to oral sex at dinnertime.

1977 Alive II Gatefold. Still fucking impressive.

1987: I didn’t listen to any music of any genre until the summer of ’87 when I became  immersed in Hair Metal.   I had allocated around ten bucks per month from lawnmowing money towards a cassette of my choice at JL Records and Tapes.  I had recently purchased Hysteria,  and Look What the Cat Dragged In. I biked to the record store and perused the store for my latest selection.  After much contemplation ($10 was a huge investment at this time) I decided on  KISS – Crazy Nights.  I’d heard the single, didn’t like it, but went for it anyway.

Wow.  I mean.. wow.  What the fuck was this?  This was the group that caused Brad to go bonkers in his basement?  This sucked.  I chalked it up to a loss and was much happier with next month’s selection Girls, Girls, Girls. I wrote off KISS until that fateful day in photography/art class the winter of 1988.

Our constantly stoned art teacher, Mrs. Laskowski, allowed us to bring our own music to listen to while we worked on our latest bullshit project.  Nathan and a goth girl named Anastasia shared my table.  (Side Note:  About a decade later, I hired some strippers for a bachelor party.  Anastacia – stage name “Destiny” – recognized me when she arrived.  We chatted.  She then dripped candle wax on her huge fake tits, stuck a Miller Lite bottle inside of her, and ate out the other stripper on my friend’s rug.  Nope, not fucking kidding you. ) Nathan had a bunch tapes in his backpack and handed one to me.

Nathan: Here you go.  Keep this.  I don’t listen to them anymore, I’m into real Metal.

The tape was Side 1 and 2 of KISS Alive II.

Me: No thanks.  I bought Crazy Nights and hated it.

Nathan: You might like it.  It’s probably some of their best shit.  I just like the harder stuff now.

He then plopped in Megadeth’s So Far, So Good, So What and played the first track Into the Lungs of Hell while Ms. Laskoski probably rethought her music policy.

Nathan was right, I loved it and wanted more.  I went back to JL Records and found a used set of their first 3 studio albums called “KISS- The Originals” for $8.00.   Thinking this was rather pricey for an old LP, I decided to add extra value by also stuffing (read: shoplifting) the entire Alive! album into the sleeves.

I loved Alive! The studio versions of the same songs were flat by comparison, even though Alive! is pretty much a doctored studio album.  I gobbled up the rest of their 70′s albums and during a time period when KISS was extremely unpopular, I became a KISS-aholic.  I was fascinated with the mythology, went to the library to find old interviews, and sent away for outrageously priced videotapes of old concert bootlegs – most of which are now readily available on KISSOLOGY 1 & 2.

Around 1991, KISS started apologizing for sucking (with the exception of a few gems) for about 13 years and that their upcoming album Revenge would be a return to form, joining forces again with producer Bob Ezrin.  I remember going to the store at 10 am to get this album.  It was a revamped, re-energized line up with incredible sound and the only decent release they’d had since Creatures or Lick it Up. I saw them for the first time on the Revenge tour in 1992 and the next few years they remained inspired up until the cash grab of the Reunion Years from 1996 -2001.   I’m one of the few KISS fans out there that couldn’t give a fuck about whether Ace or Peter is in the band, in make up, etc.  During the Reunion shows they sounded sloppy and like a bunch of hacks compared the the tight lineup of Singer/Kulick from 1992-1995.  Ace and Peter were great….. when they could actually play.

Things are now coming full circle and KISS is now apologizing AGAIN and that this album is “our best in over 30 years!” with Singer and Thayer in the mix.

Which gets us to the “Wal- Mart Exclusive” Sonic Boom album sitting on my desk.  I’ve reviewed it and you can read a brutally honest review HERE

For those about to FARK, we salute you!  If you came here from FARK.COM, and like this interview, check out more “13 Stupid Questions” HERE or on our homepage. 

Since 1981, Anthrax has had more lead singers than Van Halen, been pressured to change their name, and had the worst run of luck with promotional support from their multitude of music labels.

Along the way they’ve released some classic albums like Among The Living, Sound of White Noise, and great ones you’ve unfortunately never heard of like We’ve Come For You All.

Over the last quarter century they have influenced generations of younger bands and secured their place in the “Big Four” of Metal along with Metallica, Megadeth, and Slayer.

But enough with the history lesson. Anthrax is set to release their new album Worship Music this year with new lead singer Dan Nelson.  Although there’s another new guy in the group, the band’s nucleus has always been guitarist Scott Ian, drummer Charlie Benante, and…….. um….. bassist Frank Bello.

Most of you are familiar with Scott Ian and his amazing Technicolor beard.  He’s hard to miss since his shaved head is constantly on VH1 sharing deep thoughts on I Love the 80′s, Supergroup, and the Random Metal Video Countdown Show of the Week.   Seriously.  Turn on VH1 right now, and sit there for about 23 seconds.   See!  There he is.

But what about the forgotten hero of Anthrax?  Mr. Frank Bello?  The man has been gainfully employed at Anthrax, Inc. and been silent for over 25 years.  What do we know about him?  Is he a bass playing monk?   We needed to know.  RUFKM Worldwide contacted Anthrax’s publicist (the most amazing woman in the world) to find out and Frank’s silence was finally broken.

Enjoy our exclusive interview!

13 Stupid Questions with Frank Bello

This is the face Frank made while answering our questions

 

 

 

 

1. Frankie, we need to get this out of way first. Have you or have you not Gone to Hollywood? In addition, do you relax, don’t do it, when you want to go to it?

Wow, were you at the Anthrax/Frankie goes to Hollywood coheadline show? If not, you missed some gig….

2. We know that Charlie is a huge comic book fan and that Scott has a Stephen King fetish. In the 5-6 years between albums, what do you like to do in your spare time?

I like to read comedic websites.

3. In a related topic, it’s been six years since Anthrax last released a studio album and during that time the music industry has completely changed. Vol. 8 and We’ve Come for you All are great albums but few humans know they exist. Coupled with Anthrax’s previous troubles with music label promotion are you considering releasing Worship Music as a “pick your price” download like Nine Inch Nails or those overrated clowns Radiohead?

Pick your price, pick your ass,-whatever gets the music out there.

4. You’ve recently toured with Iron Maiden. Did you have the opportunity to fence with Bruce Dickinson?

No, but we did do a comparison of the Iron Maiden and Anthrax planes.
5. Does Scott ever shut the fuck up?

ha ha ha!

6. During your Bring the Noise tour with Public Enemy, how many large clocks did Flavor Flav bring? Also, give us an amusing anecdote from this tour.

Flavor Flav wears clocks? (“amusing anecdote section”)- When we played with public enemy in Canada, Flavor flav couldn’t make the show, so chuck d let me come out with them and open the show dressed as flavor- it was amazing-

7. Speaking of clocks, your guitarist Dan Spitz left the group in the early 90′s and, strangely, opened a watch repair shop designing custom time pieces. (SpitzWatch.com)When Dan returned to the band for Anthrax’s 2005 reunion tour, did this make you more punctual?

Danny rules. Yes-I’m actually a day early for my meetings now.

8. If you had the power, what song would you never play live again? Also, are there any songs which you haven’t played live that you wish were in the set list?

Living on a prayer (wait, that’s not us..)- nah,we usually mix the songs so it doesn’t get boring.

It will be cool to play the new songs.

9. You guys discovered your new lead singer Dan Nelson on MySpace. Because of this, do you ever think that Scott and Charlie might replace you with “BassBoy7$” or “Thrashkid9″ from Twitter?

That’s actually how I got the gig, except in the eighties I had to send my resume attached to a pigeons leg and have it fly to their window.

10. How much can your new singer Dan Nelson bench press?

It has been verified that Dan bench presses "A Lot"

 

 

 

 

Alot

11. Many fans, like us, were first introduced to the band with the EP I’m the Man which cleverly packaged a catchy Beastie Boys-like track with live versions from Among the Living. At the time this was a unique, risky move in your genre. I mean, you don’t expect Dave Mustaine or James Hetfield to bust out two turntables and a microphone. Was it the music label’s idea to do that EP or the bands?

Why, of course it was the music labels because they always have the best creative ideas… (it was our idea)

12. The 1980′s Metal scene was all spandex and leather. You guys rocked shorts, sneakers, skateboards, and the occasionally big brimmed baseball cap. Besides having outfits that had more breathable fabric, what was the main decision for this image?

The main decision for the image was comfort – so our sweaty balls didn’t stick to our legs during shows.

13. Replacing Joey Belladonna with John Bush created an overall different sound for the band even though it was still unmistakably Anthrax. With Worship Music, what changes can we expect? Also, what are some of your favorite tracks?

This is the “new” Anthrax- heavy, angry songs, with great vocals from our new singer Dan Nelson. I think it’s our best work yet.
Some of my favorite tracks: Vampyres, Giant, Crawl… (I have alot of favorites)

And there you have it.  After 25 years, Frank finally spoke and was…um… rather “frank” with his answers.  He talked about his schwetty balls, revealed his pigeon training skills, and answered a thought provoking question about the future of music distribution with the comment “pick your ass.”

It’s really more than we could’ve ever asked for.  Plus, if we’d sent these questions to Scott Ian, you’d still be reading his long winded answer to question #1.

Thanks, Frank!  Now purchase all of Anthrax’s music from this nifty jukebox (it contains the majority of their albums) and preorder a copy of Worship Music on Amazon.

Management:   Split Media LLC

Website:  Anthrax

More Stupid Questions with Tesla: HERE

More Music Related Shenanigans: HERE

(Quick Advertisement: RUFKM has signed an exclusive agreement with Amazon.com that gives our fans free Express 2 -Day shipping on anything you order! Look at the ad on your left for more details. Get what you want – Fast!)

While RUFKM cannot confirm this is actually Bob Rock, whoever did the above remix of “Broken, Beaten, Scarred” from Metallica’s Death Magnetic made it sound it exactly like anything from The Black Album, Load, or Garage Inc. In other words, it sounds F—ing great!

Just like always, RUFKM is your source for breaking news. Since our first post about Defective Magnetic, Rolling Stone has put Metallica on it’s most recent cover and the online version has a sidebar mentioning the technical audio abomination of the album and confirms that the mix for Guitar Hero III is superior.

In the above YouTube clip you are practically hearing an entirely different song. Even in the low, streaming quality that YouTube provides, you can tell that the bass is pronounced, the drums and vocals are not distorted, and your speakers do not weep …. it’s almost like something a band signed to a major label that has sold over 80 million albums would release! Want further proof? Plug your headphones into your computer and smile.

Enjoy before this vanishes from existence.