Return of InterBrain: Charlie Sheen Thanks America’s Firefighters.

Thank you for saving me. You are beautiful and hot, and you are every bit as hot as you are beautiful.

China is Super Happy Peaceful Number One American Friend!

Thanks to the live car battery they attached to my nutsack, I was hardly even aware of the sensation of drowning.

Sarah Palin Comes out Swinging.

Palin skillfully used violent imagery to deny the notion that she is prone to using violent imagery.

Most Shocking WikiLeaks Revelations.

The diplomatic community has been rocked by some of the most shocking revelations in human history.

Swill Street Stories – Las Vegas Death Trip

I am neither a great writer nor a great drunk but on this night I would set in motion a series of events that would allow me to come as close as I probably ever will to at least one of those things.

I think I might be doing something wrong – Part II

You know what they say about fire. It is really hot, and when you are close to it it will burn you, because hot fire BURNS!

I think I might be doing something wrong – Part I.

At the end of the day I can relax in my $200 a month efficiency knowing that I’ve done something to help society

Swill Street Stories

Put the kids to bed, lock up your valuables and prepare to taste all 31 flavors of suck.

Sleep With Many Beautiful Women Using one Simple Rule.

Do you think Jacques has not problems of his own? Do you think that nothing can keep Jacques awake at night with worry? Well this is true, Jacques has none of these things.

Christmas fun in the House of Burton.

Do not frown, do not disagree, and do NOT try to tell them they’re making no sense. All of those things could lead to immediate and permanent injury.

Cars We Hate for the People Who Drive Them.

Let me get this straight: you need a six thousand pound, eight passenger four wheel drive urban assault vehicle just to talk on your cell phone on the way to the office?

H1N1 is the least of our problems.

To call him troll-like would be inaccurate because even in myth, trolls are described as being vaguely humanoid in appearance.

Things we Weren’t Taught In School: Vol 2

We’ve all been in this situation. You walk into work in the morning, passing person after person, going through mental gymnastics trying to properly greet everyone. Because EVERYONE is different and if you give the wrong greeting you will needlessly offend someone. Some people, like my friend, prefer to ignore the existence of morning and [...]

Things We Weren’t Taught In School: Vol 1

The longer I live the more I see there are significant oversights in our education system. Certain things that come up on a daily basis but no one ever properly taught us. This recurring column will address some of those oversights. On Greetings and Salutations Is there anything quite as maddening as not knowing when [...]