February 18, 2011 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Articles By Author, Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, Movies / TV, News, Pop Culture, Real Life, Real Shenanigans, RUFKM Classic, Sort Of New Content, The legend of RUFKM, Things We Weren't Taught in School, Top Picture
Thank you for saving me. You are beautiful and hot, and you are every bit as hot as you are beautiful.
February 10, 2011 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Articles By Author, Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, Movies / TV, News, Pop Culture, Sort Of New Content, Swill Street Stories, The legend of RUFKM, Top Picture
The Lohan rarely appears in films because films are beneath her. Can such genius be contained within the narrow aspect of a theater screen? Can it be confined to two hours? Can it even be scripted?
January 12, 2011 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Articles By Author, Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, News, Politics, Real Life, Real Shenanigans, RUFKM Classic, Sort Of New Content, The legend of RUFKM, Things We Weren't Taught in School, Top Picture
Palin skillfully used violent imagery to deny the notion that she is prone to using violent imagery.
Since the inception of RUFKM, Inc. we have reached numerous milestones in our relentless quest for glory. Throughout this time we have been sued by Satan’s own church, unmercifully antagonized professional ass-clown Matt Damon, and infiltrated Wikipedia to great success. However glorious these events and endeavors may seem, we have always been in it for [...]
Besides providing hilarious entertainment on an (almost) daily basis, selling our 3 millionth shirt, and warning the globe about the risks of ferret ownership, there is yet another sign that RUFKM Worldwide, Inc. is poised for global domination: Our trademarked acronym of RUFKM has just been added to the newest edition of the Amazon Bestseller [...]
That’s right, bitches! According to the scientific blog analysis site as listed above, RUFKM.NET has achieved a reading level of COLLEGE (POST-GRAD)! And it’s all a result of the mastery of the English language that your Lyrical Maestro Boondoggle provides to you free of charge. As stated in our mission statement, we take our tomfoolery [...]
As we find ourselves to be very important people and a vital part of American history, we added Loose Cannon’s and Captain Boondoggle’s biographies to Wikipedia. Things went… poorly.
Being the great Captain Boondoggle is exhausting. But of course with such greatness, comes even greater responsibility. Responsibilities that include answering the emails, letters and other assorted requests of my ever-growing fanbase of Boondogglites. To stay ahead of the curve and to determine what next burden my celebrity status will bring me, I’ve been [...]
Since the beginning of time, man has been an inquisitive beast on an endless quest for knowledge. This pursuit led to scientific and artistic achievements like the invention of the wheel, the Polio vaccine, landing on the moon, Garbage Pail Kids trading cards, the ShamWow! and, of course, the Freedom Rock commercial. RUFKM is proud [...]
Not since Ron Burgundy has there been there been someone that perfects the art of being egotistical and completely unaware: Captain Boondoggle. He’s funny 60% of the time, all the time. In this exclusive interview, he reveals his softer, more sensual side.
(The following is a Boondoggle/Cannon/TylerDFC production. In other words, it took three monkeys to write this post. Also, click on the “listen now” button for maximum comedic effect. Enjoy!) Ahh …. memories. It seems like just yesterday the writers of RUFKM were merely writing stories about assorted tomfoolery for our own delight and, under some [...]
The reviews are in and the RUFKM Army is growing by the millions everyday! According to Feedburner (http://www.feedburner.com/) – a spectacular service that provides a wealth of subscription data – our fanbase is building all over the planet from L.A. to London and towns we’ve never heard of like Moose Paw, Canada! (Near Moose Knuckle?) [...]
I, the omnipotent Dark Lord, felt the need to make a quick correction to the blog entitled “For those about to write, we salute you.” Loose Cannon does not masturbate via a modified Commodore 64. He’s WAY too cosmopolitan for such nonsense. Our poor man’s Hasselhoff prefers to “shake hands with the boss” through the [...]
A big toast to all of you crazy fans out there! We have received some great letters about our stories! We also feel that RUFKM Inc. needed to make a brief announcement about RUFKM’s main contributors: Dr. Boondoggle. and Mr. Cannon. Both of us love reading our fan mail. Since there is so much, we [...]