February 18, 2011 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Articles By Author, Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, Movies / TV, News, Pop Culture, Real Life, Real Shenanigans, RUFKM Classic, Sort Of New Content, The legend of RUFKM, Things We Weren't Taught in School, Top Picture
Thank you for saving me. You are beautiful and hot, and you are every bit as hot as you are beautiful.
January 12, 2011 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Articles By Author, Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, News, Politics, Real Life, Real Shenanigans, RUFKM Classic, Sort Of New Content, The legend of RUFKM, Things We Weren't Taught in School, Top Picture
Palin skillfully used violent imagery to deny the notion that she is prone to using violent imagery.
This article was originally published almost 2 years ago. It’s popularity rose to such heights that we were contacted by xtranormal.com to use our script in their marketing efforts. Here is the movie and the original article that inspired it. Since you are probably reading this at work we have posted two version of the [...]
Ronnie James Dio, the tiny rock god with the huge voice, died Sunday at the age of 67. Undoubtedly, his passing will be met with derision and jokes from those outside of the metal community. For those of us that grew up with the music, it is the loss of a founding father of metal. [...]
Bees Suck. They suck even more when you happen to be one of those unfortunate individuals that when you’re stung by one of the little terrorists you blow up like Martin Short in Pure Luck and then die a slow and agonizing death. I’m Martin Short. Not in the way that I have no career, [...]
The following is an “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” Classic. We have been too busy interviewing rock stars as of late for our “13 Stupid Questions” series. For now, enjoy an insane tale of the RUFKM Crew in Key West last Halloween. Also, for the record, Key West does not have a governor, it has a [...]
(For those about to FARK we salute you! If you came from FARK.COM and this is your first time at “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” …… check out our other music related content. There’s a ton of it including our popular “13 Stupid Questions” with bands like Tesla, Anthrax, and future rock stars like The [...]
With every generation, there are pivotal moments in history that make you remember exactly where you were. The JFK assassination, Challenger exploding, and 9/11. For me, it was the day that my younger brother popped wood for the first time. This is easy for me to recall because, unfortunately, I was sitting right next to him [...]
One of the great fringe benefits of having a career in which you get to fly over 100,000 miles per year, mostly international, other than being stuck in a seat by the assorted incessantly talking wacko for a twelve hour flight to China, is that you get to read a lot. When I say a [...]
I have an important announcement! I’ve decided that I am going to attend medical school. Not because I want to save lives, charge $10,000 per tit, or even cure certain types of foot fungus. Nope. I want my M.D. for one reason: To have a God complex. I want to have an ego so large [...]
It happens to the best of us, I know. You are sitting at your computer, blissfully opening email. Caught up in the suspense and excitement that comes from such a task. “Who is writing me today?” you may wonder. More importantly, “Do they have pharmaceuticals available for purchase from Mexico?” “Can I get weapons grade [...]
Hello! Your Government Here!! Have you made awful decisions in life? Don’t worry, we’ll bail you out!
Hello! How are you doing? This is your government speaking and I would like to talk to you about a few pressing issues. Do you have no ambition in life? Are you a blood sucking leach of society? Have you made the business decisions of someone who thinks 2 + 2 = Jello? Have you [...]
Hello! The ghost of Tim Russert here. In life I was a big, talking head and in death I’m literally just that. I’m a huge, floating cranium with a microphone. Oh, sweet irony. So, I’m in purgatory and one of my punishments is to be a moderator one last time. This time for RUFKM-TV. I [...]
Perusing the Sunday paper this weekend by complete happenchance I inadvertently stumbled upon an advertisement that so annoyed and frightened me that I could no longer read the riveting and I’m sure entirely factual articles explaining why Barack Obama should be made eternal King and Savior of the United States of America and why John [...]
When I am sitting on a plane, pondering how many days it’s been since the tank top wearing individual next to me decided to experiment with soap, water, and toothpaste, I often help pass the time by flipping through a fantastic magazine called SkyMall. For those not familiar, Skymall is a collection of useless crap [...]
There are many clear indications that the driver next to you has absolutely no insurance. If they choose to swerve towards you in traffic and the only way to avoid them is to go directly into a ditch, choose the ditch. Dirt is softer, Mother Nature carries better liability coverage, and you will avoid an [...]
Have you ever met a real life Michael Scott from the Office? Well I have. He’s a manager in my region, speaks only in cliche and chest bumped me yesterday. Here’s his paraphrased conversation.
Being the great Captain Boondoggle is exhausting. But of course with such greatness, comes even greater responsibility. Responsibilities that include answering the emails, letters and other assorted requests of my ever-growing fanbase of Boondogglites. To stay ahead of the curve and to determine what next burden my celebrity status will bring me, I’ve been [...]
The following is a classic post from Sonnygirl, an RUFKM Army member whose entire contribution to this site is…. this post. Apparently she is only inspired to write when she is starving from drinking lemon juice and having extreme problems with her digestive system. Sonnygirl, we enjoyed this post so please do something else ridiculous [...]
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that AC/DC is the dumbest, ugliest, uncreative band ever — and I mean that as the highest compliment. I have only two bands that I refuse to put into “shuffle” mode on my iPod: AC/DC and KISS. Both are equally stupid, equally spectacular, and put [...]