Madonna doesn’t need your love, you sack of shit.

This is what happens when someone has unlimited money and time. Maybe Obama is right, and we should tax rich people out of existence and give their money to the poor for malt liquor and crack pipes.

Warrant Singer Jani Lane Dead at 47 – An R.I.P. Retrospective

Jani Lane – R.I.P. The writers of RUFKM have always found Jani Lane to be an underrated singer/songwriter that simply wrote some great songs during and after Warrant’s heyday. Unfortunately for most he is known as the “Cherry Pie Guy” but wrote melodies and lyrics that were superior to most of his peers – “Heaven”, [...]

Counterpoint – “Alive” Album Review turns into quest rivaling search for the Lost Ark

Counterpoint the Word: “In music, counterpoint is the relationship between two or more voices that are independent in contour and rhythm and are harmonically interdependent. ” Counterpoint the Band: “A group you’ve unfortunately never heard of that has toured across Europe with the likes Daughtry, Shinedown and whose new release “Alive” is chock full of [...]

The Beatles Finally Available on iTunes

If you’re not buying your music from iTunes, you’re not buying it from Steve Jobs, which means you’re pissing him off.

Ozzy Osbourne’s new album “Scream” – The Mumbles of a Madman

Ozzy’s new release “Scream” is a steaming chunk of beheaded bat shit that barely manages a murmur. I’m so disappointed in this effort that I’m not going to even waste my time writing a proper review.

Cream of Korn: An argument of why Korn doesn’t (completely) suck

“Suppose there were no critics to tell us how to react to a picture, a play, or a new composition of music. Suppose we wandered innocent as the dawn into an art exhibition of unsigned paintings. By what standards, by what values would we decide whether they were good or bad, talented or untalented, success [...]

Rock on the Range 2010 Video Recap

Rock on the Range – RUFKM Video Recap A long time ago (March 22nd and 23rd, 2010) in a galaxy far away (Columbus, OH) RUFKM attended Rock on the Range. Rock on the Range is a two day event featuring over 30 bands at Crew Stadium near Ohio State. We have captured all the sights, [...]

Swill Street Stories – The Passion of The Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan is the greatest creative genius the world has ever seen. She is the very nexus of art, life, death, suffering, ecstasy and infinity itself.

Shaman’s Harvest – Rock on the Range audio interview

Audio interview with Shaman’s Harvest guitarist Josh Hamler. He breaks down the band’s history, their recent success with “Dragonfly”, and how they are prone to injury. They currently have one band member in a cast and another in a wheelchair. At least they don’t have a one armed drummer. No, we are not fucking kidding you.

Exclusive 60 minute Drowning Pool interview: Lead singer Ryan Mccombs discusses new album available 4/27/10

Loose Cannon hosts an exclusive RUFKM interview with Ryan Mccombs, lead singer of Drowning Pool. This one hour interview features an in depth discussion of the inspiration behind the tracks on their upcoming release, creatively titled Drowning Pool.

Slash 2010 Album Review: Slash Kills Axl Dead

What do you call a rock album that starts with the lyrics “Kill the ghost, that hides in your soul” and ends with the lyrics “I’m gonna pee on the ground, then I’m gonna jump around.” You call that album Slash. Since 1994, after Guns N’ Roses disbanded acrimoniously, Slash has released two solo albums, two [...]

Album Review: Drowning Pool releases 2010 album, creatively titled “Drowning Pool” ; plus YouTube interview

Drowning Pool. The name of the band conjures up one word with anybody who has ever heard of them: Bodies. I never owned a DP album before I came upon their 2007 release Full Circle but was very familiar with the song “Bodies.”  I have no clue what it was about except it involved bodies [...]

Gypsy Curse – Wake The Dead

Canada is an enigma wrapped in a riddle.  It is a land of unending contradictions that has caused both great pleasure and innumerable horrors upon the world.  Throughout history it has given us such greatness as Pamela Anderson, maple syrup, Captain Kirk and horse-mounted police.   At the other end it has unleashed the monstrosities of [...]

The Last Vegas at the House of Blues – 02/27/10

It’s not every day that you have the opportunity to see a great up and coming rock-n-roll band live.  It’s even more rare when the opportunity presents itself to see such a band that arguably had one of the best rock releases in the past decade.  And it is almost unheard of that such a [...]

Maylene and the Sons of Disaster – III – Best rock album of 2009. Seriously.

Few subjects cause us to take up arms faster at the RUFKM, Inc. headquarters then our music preferences. Loose Cannon enjoys a good polka, and regales Boondoggle, Jack, and I with hours of dissertation on the merits of the accordion. Because he has the RUFKM, Inc. Headquarters Self Destruct System wired directly to his heart [...]

Pearl Jam – Backspacer: 35 minutes of ear pleasure

It is not common for bands to release one of their best albums almost 20 years into their career but Pearl Jam has just done that with Backspacer.  This is the point when bands release songs that give you time to take a piss when you see them live.  But before I reviewBackspacer, I need [...]

90 Second Music Review: Vains of Jenna – The Art of Telling Lies

Lately, the RUFKM headquarters has been besieged with CDs and propaganda from bands big and small.   This inspired us to start a new series called “90 Second Music Review” to highlight the good, bad, and ugly  in an efficient manner.  Vains of Jenna:  The Art of Telling Lies The country of Sweden is famous for it’s neutrality during wartime, [...]

Danny Hope’s lipsweater responsible for Purdue football’s failure

Since I am in no way able to provide rational, reasonable analysis of Purdue football as my beloved Boilermakers have shit the bed this season, I instead offer a wild hypothesis for how Purdue can get back to mediocre team we’ve grown to expect. Shave the mustache off the face of first-year coach Danny Hope. [...]

Ryan Mccombs of Drowning Pool – Stupid Video Interview

Here is a YouTube clip of an interview we did with Ryan Mccombs of Drowning Pool at Crue Fest in W. Palm Beach.   You wouldn’t think that Ryan has a sense of humor since he’s usually singing angry songs about killing poodles *  but he is quite witty …. and obscene.  In other words, it was [...]

True Confessions of a KISS-aholic

(The following is an excerpt from chapter 27 of the novel “True Confessions of a KISS -aholic” available on Amazon on 10/6/09.) The mailbox at RUFKM corporate headquarters is flooded weekly with CDs, DVDs, from bands begging to participate in our “13 Stupid Questions” or review their CDs. Some are bands we’ve heard of, some [...]