This is what happens when someone has unlimited money and time. Maybe Obama is right, and we should tax rich people out of existence and give their money to the poor for malt liquor and crack pipes.
Jani Lane – R.I.P. The writers of RUFKM have always found Jani Lane to be an underrated singer/songwriter that simply wrote some great songs during and after Warrant’s heyday. Unfortunately for most he is known as the “Cherry Pie Guy” but wrote melodies and lyrics that were superior to most of his peers – “Heaven”, [...]
It’s like being good at speed boating, or banging blindfolded hookers. You don’t have to DO anything. It’s just what you ARE.
I’m the guy who used to break into your house in the middle of the night and force you to play Russian roulette with your family before we robbed and burned the place.
February 18, 2011 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Articles By Author, Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, Movies / TV, News, Pop Culture, Real Life, Real Shenanigans, RUFKM Classic, Sort Of New Content, The legend of RUFKM, Things We Weren't Taught in School, Top Picture
Thank you for saving me. You are beautiful and hot, and you are every bit as hot as you are beautiful.
February 10, 2011 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Articles By Author, Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, Movies / TV, News, Pop Culture, Sort Of New Content, Swill Street Stories, The legend of RUFKM, Top Picture
The Lohan rarely appears in films because films are beneath her. Can such genius be contained within the narrow aspect of a theater screen? Can it be confined to two hours? Can it even be scripted?
NOTE: Mockingjay is book 3 and the finale to The Hunger Games series. The books are impossible to discuss without revealing the plot of the preceding books so do not read further if you intend to read book one, The Hunger Games or two, Catching Fire but have not yet done so. Although Katniss, Finnick, [...]
Counterpoint the Word: “In music, counterpoint is the relationship between two or more voices that are independent in contour and rhythm and are harmonically interdependent. ” Counterpoint the Band: “A group you’ve unfortunately never heard of that has toured across Europe with the likes Daughtry, Shinedown and whose new release “Alive” is chock full of [...]
Catching Fire is book 2 of The Hunger Games trilogy and plot discussion will necessarily reveal story details of The Hunger Games. Review for The Hunger Games can be found here: The Hunger Games Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark have come home to District 12 as heroes. They emerged as co-victors of the 74th Hunger [...]
After a series of disasters and upheaval the United States falls. In its place rises Panem, an interconnected set of 13 districts, each feeding the ruling city Capitol with their commodities. When the districts rise against the authoritarian rule of the Capitol they are beaten down and district 13 is obliterated. The 12 remaining districts [...]
David Sedaris newest collection of stories uses anthropomorphized animals to deliver compact fables hitting on very human themes like racism, religion, terrorism, domestic violence, friendship, family, etc. Few of the tales are longer than 6 pages yet each gets its point across in the time allotted and none overstay their welcome. Sedaris is best known [...]
Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is a classic for a reason. It is simply constructed, but loaded with details and inflections that make the story come alive. I’ve seen most versions of the story told in film. My favorites are the George C Scott movie from the 80’s, Scrooged with Bill Murray, and the Muppet’s [...]
The mark of a truly great book is one that you both don’t want to end but can’t wait to finish. The kind of story that has your eyes skipping to the opposite page just to get a glimpse at what happens next, because the tension of what you are reading is almost too much [...]
Sharp Teeth Cinema Craptastique review by TylerDFC I very seriously considered turning Sharp Teeth off several times. While Cinema Craptastique is dedicated to judging crap films, Sharp Teeth is SO terrible that it barely qualifies as a movie at all and functions more as a torture device. The plot has something to do with a [...]
The entertainment industry has been transfixed to the glitz, glamor and controversy surrounding America’s premier remedial dance competition.
In an exclusive computer simulated interview with RUFKM, Mel Gibson opens up about love, life, and the possibility that he might be evil.
If you’re not buying your music from iTunes, you’re not buying it from Steve Jobs, which means you’re pissing him off.
For the first time, I realize just what kind of enemy we face. He is an unholy half dead who has seen the Underverse and returned with powers we can’t possibly imagine.
Brady calmly exited his vehicle, removed his workout equipment from the trunk and dashed to practice on foot, his auburn locks glistening softly in the early morning sunlight.
Ozzy’s new release “Scream” is a steaming chunk of beheaded bat shit that barely manages a murmur. I’m so disappointed in this effort that I’m not going to even waste my time writing a proper review.