Gridlock as Obama, GOP Disagree on how to Screw America.
January 31, 2010 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Articles By Author, Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, New Content, News, Politics, Real Life, Real Shenanigans, Top Picture
“The President has repeatedly offered to wear a condom while raping the country, and you can look it up,” Biden reportedly will say, despite the desperate attempts of his aides to stop him from saying it.
Bumper Sticker Fails to Alter American Political Landscape.
January 30, 2010 by JackfnBurton
Filed under Featured Writer: JackfnBurton, New Content, News, Politics
Confident that the concept of Republican Hippies would someday catch on, Garone abruptly ended the interview and returned to his job of alphabetizing State Welfare rolls.
Panties, Bombs and Silly Talk
January 6, 2010 by captainboondoggle
Filed under Captain Boondoggle, New Content, Politics, Top Picture
Panties, Bombs and Silly TalkI’m flummoxed. Bewildered. Stupified. Mystified. Constipated.
As you are probably already well aware, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab (AKA The Panty Bomber, Boxer Burner, Eunuch bomber, Thong Terrorist, Weiner Roaster) “allegedly” on Christmas Eve on a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit tried to detonate a bomb that was embedded in his suspiciously effeminate panties.
Of [...]
Danny Hope’s lipsweater responsible for Purdue football’s failure
October 12, 2009 by CeonFoosheys
Filed under Ceon Fooshey's Foolishness, Music, New Content, Politics, Top Picture
Danny Hope’s lipsweater responsible for Purdue football’s failureSince I am in no way able to provide rational, reasonable analysis of Purdue football as my beloved Boilermakers have shit the bed this season, I instead offer a wild hypothesis for how Purdue can get back to mediocre team we’ve grown to expect.
Shave the mustache off the [...]
The Legend of Obama Burgundy: His teleprompter works 60% of the time, all the time
July 25, 2009 by TylerDFC
Filed under New Content, Politics, Top Picture
The Legend of Obama Burgundy: His teleprompter works 60% of the time, all the time
It is a well documented fact that President Obama takes his teleprompter EVERYWHERE. He doesn’t just use it for speeches, but takes it to interviews, meetings, etc. According to sources the times he has NOT brought his teleprompter with him, [...]
The Mustache Wars Part III: Revenge of the Kwasman
July 12, 2009 by captainboondoggle
Filed under Captain Boondoggle, Fight the 'Stache! - Chicago Camera Fraud, New Content, Politics, Top Picture
The Mustache Wars Part III: Revenge of the Kwasman
(We must be psychic. On the front page of the Chicago Tribune, 7/12/09, is an article on the evils of Redflex and other red light camera programs. It’s part of a series with the next focus revolving around the political corruption associated with them. Are you F—ing [...]
The Mayor Kwasman Mustache Wars: Part II – Boondoggle Strikes Back
July 9, 2009 by captainboondoggle
Filed under Captain Boondoggle, New Content, Politics
The Mayor Kwasman Mustache Wars: Part II – Boondoggle Strikes Back7/09/09- Chicago- IL
(Since this involves traffic tickets, Skynet, and mustached mayors, it will help to read Part I – Traffic ticket causes Boondoggle to fight Chicago government, crazy mustaches. Or whatever. )
Many of my loyal fans have demanded an update on my inane quest to [...]
The Mustache Wars – Part 1: Boondoggle Vs. Mayor Kwasman
June 12, 2009 by captainboondoggle
Filed under Captain Boondoggle, Fight the 'Stache! - Chicago Camera Fraud, New Content, Politics
The Mustache Wars – Part 1: Boondoggle Vs. Mayor KwasmanDue to receiving an outrageous traffic ticket for $100 from Chicago’s version of Skynet, I screamed “Are You F—ing Kidding Me?” I then sat down and wrote this fine letter to the mayor. I also emailed it to Car and Driver since they have had several [...]
Obama appoints new Cyber Czar, Fuhrer of the Interior, Mack Daddy of Poonany
June 3, 2009 by TylerDFC
Filed under Politics, TylerDFC's Tomfoolery
Obama appoints new Cyber Czar, Fuhrer of the Interior, Mack Daddy of PoonanySo this week Obama is set to name a new “Cyber Czar” to be in charge of the nations internet security. This in addition to the already named “Auto Czar” and “Banking Czar”, two gentlemen who are in charge of facilitating the takeover [...]
Obama states if he wanted a real challenge, he’d beat Contra without the code
April 23, 2009 by Loose Cannon
Filed under Loose Cannon's Shenanigans, Politics
Obama states if he wanted a real challenge, he’d beat Contra without the codeIn one of Obama’s nightly press conferences, when asked about solving the state of America’s economy, he made reference to an 80’s Nintendo video game.
“My fellow Americans. While our current economic state presents a challenge, it is nothing compared to the struggle [...]
Obama denies saying “And Then I F—-d Her!”, chaos ensues
March 27, 2009 by Dark Lord
Filed under Dark Lord's Lair, Politics
Obama denies saying “And Then I F—-d Her!”, chaos ensues
We covered the proper use and definition of Soft ATIFH! HERE. For part 2, lets move on to Hard ATIFH!.
You can use this in a speech or conversation. Hard ATIFH! is far more risky as the entire purpose is for the listener to actually HEAR [...]
TylerDFC pulls out his stimulus package, lays it on desk
TylerDFC pulls out his stimulus package, lays it on deskDear President Obama, members of government, foreign leaders, and the media:
After the last $800B dollars you invested in our economy seems to not be doing a damn thing to help the situation I think it is time for some radical steps. News everyday is the stock [...]
Obama’s $800 Billion Dollar Boondoggle
February 24, 2009 by Loose Cannon
Filed under Politics
Obama’s $800 Billion Dollar Boondoggle
I have a recurring nightmare that I must share with the world. I’m at an exclusive underground sex-fest that I snuck into (with a secret code) much like the last few minutes of Eyes Wide Shut. Just like “OT- VII level” Scientologist Tom Cruise, I’m roaming the halls with my sweet Lone [...]
The Origin Of Obama
February 15, 2009 by Loose Cannon
Filed under Politics
The Origin Of Obama
Everyone loves an origin story. Spiderman, The Hulk etc., comic books and superhero movies are famous for them. Here’s another one:
David Plouffe is being the best political
campaign manager EVER and the proof is that Obama is able to take a huge daily dump in the White House bathroom. David is the dude pictured [...]
RUFKM Headline: Illinois Governor Loves To Say “Fuck”
December 10, 2008 by Loose Cannon
Filed under Loose Cannon's Shenanigans, Politics
RUFKM Headline: Illinois Governor Loves To Say “Fuck”
The following is an unedited version of some choice quotes from the Illinois governor who thought Obama’s vacant Senate seat made him a game show host on “Let’s Make a Deal!” It also shows that when you try to pull off a scam of epic proportions you should [...]
“The Devil went down to Chem class…”
December 9, 2008 by TylerDFC
Filed under Album Reviews, Politics, RUFKM Classic, TylerDFC's Tomfoolery
“The Devil went down to Chem class…”
I hated high school with a white hot fury. I could not WAIT to get out of that place. I am always incredulous upon meeting people that proclaim high school as the best years of their life. I usually stare at them for a moment contemplating a life that [...]
Bush Avoids Approval Ratings, Shoes
December 2, 2008 by Loose Cannon
Filed under Loose Cannon's Shenanigans, Politics
Bush Avoids Approval Ratings, Shoes
Say what you want about Bush but this man avoids Adidas in Iraq like Keanu Reeves evaded bullets in the Matrix.
With a grin on his face, this amazing creature can also determine the exact size of footwear headed directly at his cranium at 50 MPH. After avoiding two loafer-style missiles, Bush [...]
Hello! Your Government Here!! Have you made awful decisions in life? Don’t worry, we’ll bail you out!
November 12, 2008 by Loose Cannon
Filed under Politics, RUFKM Classic
Hello! Your Government Here!! Have you made awful decisions in life? Don’t worry, we’ll bail you out!
Hello! How are you doing? This is your government speaking and I would like to talk to you about a few pressing issues.
Do you have no ambition in life?
Are you a blood sucking leach of society?
Have you made the [...]
Barack Hussein Obama Elected 44th U.S. President. Really?
November 5, 2008 by Loose Cannon
Filed under Loose Cannon's Shenanigans, Politics
Barack Hussein Obama Elected 44th U.S. President. Really?
Barack is our new president.
Whether you voted for him or not, there is only one socially acceptable response after hearing this fact:
All together now………
Are You F—ing Kidding Me?
Well, it looks like America really likes Greek columns, infomercials (The Sham-Wow is incredible), celebrity endorsements, and hated George Bush [...]
Mccain, Obama, and the Ghost of Tim Russert walk into a bar…..
November 5, 2008 by Loose Cannon
Filed under Politics, RUFKM Classic
Mccain, Obama, and the Ghost of Tim Russert walk into a bar…..
Hello! The ghost of Tim Russert here. In life I was a big, talking
head and in death I’m literally just that. I’m a huge, floating cranium with a microphone. Oh, sweet irony. So, I’m in purgatory and one of my punishments is to be [...]
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