Gypsy Curse – Wake The Dead

Gypsy Curse – Wake The Dead
Canada is an enigma wrapped in a riddle.  It is a land of unending contradictions that has caused both great pleasure
and innumerable horrors upon the world.  Throughout history it has given us such greatness as Pamela Anderson, maple syrup, Captain Kirk and horse-mounted police.   At the other end
it has [...]

I Have GOT to Get Around This Car.

Do you think I like leaning on my horn when you waste almost two seconds of my life making me wait for you? No, I don’t. It grieves me to do it, but you force me to.

The Last Vegas at the House of Blues – 02/27/10

The Last Vegas at the House of Blues – 02/27/10It’s not every day that you have the opportunity to see a great up and coming rock-n-roll band live.  It’s even more rare when the opportunity presents itself to see such a band that
arguably had one of the best rock releases in the past decade.  And [...]

“Do you like cheese?” The Greatest Phone Prank Ever Told

“Do you like cheese?” The Greatest Phone Prank Ever Told

It is a well-known and accepted fact that all people, excluding Pauly Shore, fall into either one of two categories: those who are in on the joke and everyone else. Not to further unfairly perpetuate broad stereotypes but telemarketers as a rule without exception always fall [...]

Sleep With Many Beautiful Women Using one Simple Rule.

Do you think Jacques has not problems of his own? Do you think that nothing can keep Jacques awake at night with worry? Well this is true, Jacques has none of these things.

The North American Cockasaurus: Real or Elaborate Hoax?

The North American Cockasaurus: Real or Elaborate Hoax?The Loch Ness Monster, commonly referred to as Nessie, is a cryptid that inhabits Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. In 1933, this local legend became world famous when a photograph of the creature was published that in no way resembled a silhouette of a dude’s arm [...]

Breaking News – Toyota Prius Conspiracy Revealed

It became clear to investigators that they were dealing with a particularly deadly conspiracy whose icy tendrils encircled the globe.

13 Stupid Questions with Maylene and the Sons of Disaster

Since last summer, one album is in constant rotation in our cars and iPods, reassuring the RUFKM writers will achieve our goal to go deaf by March. That album? Maylene and the Sons of Disaster: III. Not only do they have the longest band name in rock history, TylerDFC wrote a review and called this “the best rock album of 2009″ , they have two previous releases creatively titled I & II, and they opted to sign to a music label named after a ferret.

Avatar Pulled From Theaters as World Economy Collapses.

Money was nowhere to be found, as businesses worldwide were unable to meet payroll, banks closed in droves and even common citizens were unable to make ends meet.

Gridlock as Obama, GOP Disagree on how to Screw America.

“The President has repeatedly offered to wear a condom while raping the country, and you can look it up,” Biden reportedly will say, despite the desperate attempts of his aides to stop him from saying it.

Bumper Sticker Fails to Alter American Political Landscape.

Confident that the concept of Republican Hippies would someday catch on, Garone abruptly ended the interview and returned to his job of alphabetizing State Welfare rolls.

Apple unleashes iSlate, Mass Hysteria Ensues.

I realized then and there that I absolutely had to have an iSlate, and it didn’t matter to me how many people had to die in the process.

Operation No More Douchebags: A Tale of Douche Dating- Part 2

Operation No More Douchebags: A Tale of Douche Dating- Part 2Don’t read this unless you’ve read Operation No More Douchebags Part One. Or don’t.  Whatever.
Tweedle Dumber:
Next came the amazingly stunning model/tennis player.  Helloooo, gorgeous.
We ran into each other at the Hard Rock, exchanged numbers and he actually called the next day.  He wasn’t [...]

Brett Favre Haunted by Mocking Laughter of Packers Fans.

The sound echoing in Favre’s head was described as the mocking, taunting laughter of hundreds, possibly thousands of Green Bay Packers fans.

Operation No More Douchebags: An Epic Story of Douche Dating

Sonnygirl decides to go on a date with every single guy that asks her out based on the assumption that one of them will not be a steaming douche. She was wrong. So wrong.

Cannonball Read #5 – Julie and Julia, by Julie Powell

The meta implications of reading the memoir Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously as part of a competition to read 50 books in a year and blog about the experience is not lost on me.

Maylene and the Sons of Disaster – III – Best rock album of 2009. Seriously.

Maylene and the Sons of Disaster – III – Best rock album of 2009. Seriously.
Few subjects cause us to take up arms faster at the RUFKM, Inc. headquarters then our music preferences. Loose Cannon enjoys a good polka, and regales Boondoggle, Jack, and I with hours of dissertation on the merits of the accordion. Because [...]

A Brief History of Cell Phones.

Somewhere Steve Jobs is laughing at you as he masturbates into a hundred dollar bill. And he’s laughing because it used to be your hundred dollar bill.

Panties, Bombs and Silly Talk

Panties, Bombs and Silly TalkI’m flummoxed.  Bewildered. Stupified. Mystified.  Constipated.
As you are probably already well aware, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab (AKA The Panty Bomber, Boxer Burner, Eunuch bomber, Thong Terrorist, Weiner Roaster) “allegedly” on Christmas Eve on a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit tried to detonate a bomb that was embedded in his suspiciously effeminate panties.
Of [...]

I’m in Space, Bitch!

I told myself that if ever I had the chance to look down upon the earth from the Heavens, I would contact my family as soon as possible and tell them how much they mean to me.