Bears fans teach valuable lesson in scapegoating: De-troit Sucks!

A few weeks ago, Chicago Bears fans were upset as they trundled into the bathroom at Solider Field. They had reason to be upset since the Arizona Cardinals had just thumped the Bears to drop them to 4-4 on the season. Things have not gotten better for the Bears, but that’s another story. A season [...]

Danny Hope’s lipsweater responsible for Purdue football’s failure

Since I am in no way able to provide rational, reasonable analysis of Purdue football as my beloved Boilermakers have shit the bed this season, I instead offer a wild hypothesis for how Purdue can get back to mediocre team we’ve grown to expect. Shave the mustache off the face of first-year coach Danny Hope. [...]

Corporate policy requires written approval for repairing company cars that leak gas, catch on fire

I am a traveling salesman of sorts, working for a company that saw fit to hire me without a lick of experience in the field. Eventually they saw fit to give me a company car. Sidebar:  Since I didn’t need a second car, that led to Loose Cannon boosting my 2005 Honda and taking it [...]

Crazy Train misses drunken teen napping on track

We don’t ever do this as this site is “100% original content” but this story was just too spectacular to not post.  This defines an “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” moment.  I hope the bastard kept his raspberry beret on during the entire incident.  Enjoy.  I think Ozzy was driving. PARIS (Reuters) – A drunk [...]

Bears ticket price causes area man to throw monkey poop

If my chair was where my couch is, or if I was slightly less lazy, I would be looking at Soldier Field as I type this in my South Loop condo. I mention this not to brag or freak you out, but to paint a picture of how close I live to a place I [...]

13 Stupid Questions with Atarilogic

Yo. While most (read: all) of our “13 Stupid Questions” interviews have been geared towards hard rock, our staff has a diverse taste in music — especially artists with a great sense of humor.                                         So, [...]

RUFKM visits Indy 500, chaos ensues

  If you haven’t been to the Indianapolis 500, punch yourself in the face right now. Do it. Now do it again. Now if you can’t go this year, OK. I will be there along with some of the goons from RUFKM such as Loose Cannon, Tyler DFC and Dark Lord. You can follow along with my Twitter [...]

Yanni, Boxing the Clown, and Airborne Chairs – Your Sports Week in Review

By Ceon Foosheys   In an effort to be as vain as possible, I will now be compiling the weekly best-of-RUFKM Sports Twitter post, deciding which of my own brilliant tweets deserves more attention.  Instead of simply copying and pasting all of the tweets from the past week and calling it a day, I will [...]

Electronic cigarette promotion includes punching Jose Canseco in the face: Sports Week in Review

 Here is everything you need to know about the world over the last week from our Sports Twitter.    Enjoy!    You can punch Jose Canseco in the face on internet payperview to promote electronic cigarettes. All true. http://tinyurl.com/c334xt 7 hours ago Ron Ron is serious about his Flinstones vitamins. If he has to, he will eat the [...]

Your Sports Week in Review: Madden retires, Rage of Hulkster, Cheerleader Revenge

  Here is all you need to know about the world compiled into 19 bulletpoints.  You can get these daily by subscribing to the Sports Twitter on your right.  Have a great weekend and enjoy the articles.  You can find the girl on your right naked through link #15.  Enjoy!   — RUFKM Worldwide Frank [...]

Naked Pole Vaulters, Psycho Youth Soccer Coaches, and Sham-Pow!

Wow.  What a great week it’s been!  Ceon Fooshey’s has been working overtime on Twitter because last week, based on these stories, there were more “Are You F—ing Kidding Me?” moments than ever!  My favorite has to be the Sham-Wow!  dude (Vince Shlomi) getting arrested in Miami for slapping a hooker.    Look at the mug shot above.  [...]

Air biscuits, giant burgers, and wedding dresses traded for hockey tickets

  Here is everything you need to know about the world in the last 7 days from our Twitter contributor Ceon Foosheys.  These are all real stories, mostly involving sporting shenanigans.  I highly recommend the Air Biscuit article.  I already bought three. Make sure to watch the video.  Passing air biscuits is now fully socially acceptable [...]

Taste our Twitter: RUFKM Sports Headlines

Have you checked out our constantly updated RUFKM Sports Twitter yet?  Ceon Foosheys, our newest contributor, has been doing a great job keeping all the world informed of any sports stories that make you scream “Are You F—ing Kidding Me?”  You may not be be able to see it at work as it is classified [...]