Unseen Academicals – Terry Pratchett

Unseen Academicals is the newest entry in the long line of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels. The series of books that take place on the flat planet known as Discworld as it glides majestically through the cosmos on the back of the Great Turtle A’tuin are a heady combination of fantasy/satire/comedy/adventure and just about any other genre you can think of. While each novel is entertaining, the true fun comes from looking in the fun house mirror to see how Pratchett twists and warps the idiosyncrasies of our own world into the Disc. Take our modern society sensibilities but place them in the middle ages, add magic, monsters, and all the other fantasy trappings. Then blend everything until smooth. That is the Discworld.

The novel starts with the wizards of Unseen University in an uproar over a newly discovered stipulation in one of their most generous contributor’s stipend. It seems that to continue to receive the money, they must put together a football (soccer for the Yanks) team and compete against other teams in the capital city of Ankh Morpork . The next day, an ancient vase is discovered in the city museum that details the long forgotten rules of football. Suddenly, what started as a lark takes on a life of its own and as the match draws closer the fate of the city seems to hang in the balance. Maybe.

While the football match is the main plot thread the real meat of the story concerns the young (and brilliant) goblin Mr. Nutt; the headstrong cook of the Unseen University Night Kitchen, Glenda; her gorgeous assistant Juliet; and the love struck street ruffian Trevor Likely. How they get wrapped up in the inevitable football match and the part they play in the increasingly frantic events is best left to the reader to discover.

Like all Discworld novels the actual story is secondary to the sparkling dialogue, the witty descriptions, and the laugh out loud word play and satire that fills the book. This time out, Pratchett takes aim at college sports, fandom, the fashion industry, and higher education. Of course he also finds time to pummel politicians, a sheep like populace, fairy tales, and dozens of other concepts rife for the kicking.

I’ve been a Discworld fan for years. I haven’t read them all yet but this is just because I don’t want to tear through the entire catalog and then have to wait for another one to hit shelves, something that happens with astonishing regularity. Even more surprising is how damn GOOD each one is. For a series that is 30+ books deep at present, it is astonishing to me that Unseen Academicals is damn near perfect. The character interactions are surprising and fun. For a wizard-centric Discworld story, this one was surprisingly moving while also very, very funny. Some of Pratchett’s dialogue and descriptive passages are so damn dead on you want to get them tattooed on your body. Very few books can make me laugh as hard one minute, and nearly move me to tears the next simply on a brilliant turn of phrase.

My only quibble is the book wobbles a bit towards the end. This is in no way a derailment, and as I said, Discworld books are about the characters more than the events surrounding them. But the finale relies on a deus ex machina in a way I do not think I’ve ever seen before in a Discworld book. Maybe this was a satirical stab at the sports movie clichéd triumphant against-all-odds ending but in the book it feels cheap.

I was also a bit annoyed that the action of the match is largely conveyed by the editor in chief of The Truth, the Ankh Morpork newspaper. Pratchett can write action scenes very well, and I think the game could have been made more exciting for the reader if it were not being filtered through the newsprint of a reporter. Like all Discworld novels, Unseen Academicals is imminently re-readable and I’m sure in time these nitpicks I have will make more sense. One thing that is guaranteed when reading Discworld, you will not get everything the first time through. That’s one of the many reasons the series has endured for so long.

If this is your first foray into the world of Discworld, it’s as good a starting place as any. My personal favorite “gateway” book into the series is Guards! Guards! It sets the scene well and introduces many of the series recurring characters while delivering one hell of a great adventure story and acclimating the reader to the skewed Discworld. For longtime fans, Unseen Academicals continues the streak Pratchett has had since, well, forever.