Maylene and the Sons of Disaster – III – Best rock album of 2009. Seriously.

Few subjects cause us to take up arms faster at the RUFKM, Inc. headquarters then our music preferences. Loose Cannon enjoys a good polka, and regales Boondoggle, Jack, and I with hours of dissertation on the merits of the accordion. Because he has the RUFKM, Inc. Headquarters Self Destruct System wired directly to his heart beat, we must abide his inane rambling and not kill him with shovels lest we end our own lives. Likewise, Boondoggle has a soft spot for the electric mandolin and once staged an impromptu concert for JackFnBurton’s birthday. Burton, being a devout hydroelectric flautist fan, reacted with outrage and demanded satisfaction in the normal fashion. Three days later they emerged from the octagonal hut sweaty and gleaming of Land-O-Lakes and indulged in goat meat.

This brings me to the subject at hand. The one thing we were all able to agree on was the best album of 2009; III by Maylene and the Sons of Disaster. This album is so good, it will put hair on your chest. If you already HAVE hair on your chest, it will make those hairs fall out and replace them with stronger and blacker hairs. Metal hairs.

Maylene & the Sons of Disaster enjoying some much needed R&R at their summer shack.

You can take your Nickelcrap, your Theories about Dead Guys, your DoughTrays, your Hindrance, and you can stuff em in a sack. Give that sack to George Costanza and he will throw it in the ocean, hopefully not to land into the blowhole of a passing whale.  III is an adrenaline shot to the heart, a full force assault on your ears, and hope that rock isn’t dead after all.

It’s just gone God.

That’s right, Maylene and the Sons of Disaster are a Christian band. Heavens, no! But this ain’t your preacher’s Christian band, this is smash mouth rock with a message sure, but these guys are about the rock first and the sermon second.

We here at RUFKM, Inc. are a pagan lot. Through the ages we have thrown in with whatever God is of the passing fancy; be it Baal, Yehweh, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  We have dipped our toes in the waters of Christian music and found it to be a bit nippily. The music is usually satisfactory but all the “worship Him” and “enter my heart” stuff just gets redundant.  More interesting are the bands that start with a Christian message, but don’t feel the need to beat you about the head and body with the Jesus Stick.

But we are open minded.  You bring the rock we’ll bring our ears.

III gets "One Pig Up" from born again thespian (star of "Sharks in Venice")Stephen Baldwin! Approved!

According to our usual sources (Wikipedia), Maylene and the Sons of Disaster take their name from the Ma Barker gang. They were a group of criminals in the early 20th century and the band has taken their story as inspiration. Translation: the band writes some hard rocking songs about living a bad life and facing God’s judgment at the bitter end.   Those badassed tunes are so damn good the album flies by. Before you know it you are ready to listen to it all over again.

The album opens with the sound of various swamp noises segueing into a banjo and acoustic guitar before giving way to a full throated assault by front man Dallas Taylor on “Waiting on my Deathbed”. Taylor shreds his voice on the song, howling like all the demons of hell are chasing him and this is just the beginning. Song after song brings the rock and it is glorious. The one time III slows down is the middle of the album on the near-ballad “Listen Close”. Both a title and a command, it’s hard not to think the entire album is built around the song, the eye of the tornado as it were.  Built around a stunning riff that will embed itself in your brain for days, the song is easily one of the catchiest – without being disposable – rock songs in YEARS.

Bottom line; the album is a damn masterpiece. It is ridiculous these guys aren’t bigger than they are. You simply cannot go another day without getting this album. From beginning to end it will melt your face off with blistering guitars and shredding vocals. It will renew your faith in rock, and maybe even in God.

Or Cthulu. You know, whatever.