Truck Balls…Really?

I couldn’t help but notice that you had a pair of truck balls hanging from your trailer hitch. Truck balls…Really?

I just looked for my wallet in the freezer

buf·foon (b-fn) n. 1. A clown; a jester: a court buffoon. 2. A person given to clowning and joking. 3. A ludicrous or bumbling person; a fool. The above is Webster’s definition of a buffoon but there should be another step. 4.  Someone who looks for his wallet in a freezer; a doofus. There’s nothing [...]

Nicolas Cage: Leader of the “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” revolution

Recently, I have found myself increasingly entranced within a recurring daydream.  In this magical land, I am not merely the brilliant, ruggedly handsome and world-renowned Captain Boondoggle but rather the still brilliant, ruggedly handsome, world-renowned and rich Captain Boondoggle. Not just rich, but pet-monkey owning, G5-flying, money is no object rich. In this ideal world, [...]

A man named Danny Spam is RUFKM’s biggest fan

At RUFKM we get several comments a day from our biggest fan. We have determined that it is not spam, but one crazy loon that we have dubbed “Danny Spam.” We don’t know much about him except that he must have a warehouse chock full of penis pumps, lexipro, vaginal cream, and an incredible supply [...]

Always wash your hands before handling meat

Here’s the Sauced Dwarf’s second spectacular contribution to RUFKM.  Fun Fact:  Both tales have involved his balls and some of the funniest analogies we’ve ever read.   Enjoy! Authored by:  Sauced Dwarf Ever use Ben Gay?  Ever use Ben Gay mixed with smoldering hot lava?? Back in my ball playing days, there was in existence a [...]

Battlestar Gallactica fan shockingly enjoys new V reboot

The new reboot of the 1983 mini-series (and subsequent failed weekly series) V has been fraught with problems in development. Show runners have left, scripts have been tossed, it has gone on production hiatus twice, and now ABC plans to run 4 episodes in November, wait 3 months, and then show another 4 in March. [...]

Local man lobbies for all dog pills to be purple, glow in the dark

There are a few phrases that my wife says that makes me want to run for the hills: ” Let’s watch the Notebook together.” ” A friend of mine has a great new multilevel business opportunity they’d like to talk to us about.” ” I need you figure out why my computer is frozen and [...]

The Strain – Guillermo Del Toro & Chuck Hogan

TylerDFC is trying to read 52 books in 52 weeks.  It’s for the Second Running of the Cannonball Read contest from the movie review website/community known as Pajiba. There is no prize except the feeling of accomplishment after reading approximately 18,200 pages.  It seems like a completely reasonable goal as long he avoids his children, [...]