90 Second Music Review: Vains of Jenna – The Art of Telling Lies

Lately, the RUFKM headquarters has been besieged with CDs and propaganda from bands big and small.   This inspired us to start a new series called “90 Second Music Review” to highlight the good, bad, and ugly  in an efficient manner. 

Vains of Jenna:  The Art of Telling Lies

The country of Sweden is famous for it’s neutrality during wartime,  delicacies like Swedish Fish and the culinary skills of the Swedish Chef.  They are also know for exporting musical atrocities such as Ace of Base, Roxette, ABBA, a steady supply of unlistenable Death Metal bands….. and Vains of Jenna.

We were shocked when we found VOJ’s latest release The Art of Telling Lies in our mailbox since Stevie Rachelle of Metal Sludge  is the band’s manager and refused to answer our “13 Stupid Questions.”  We were also sure it would suck due to their questionable choice in career management and that their last album was truly awful.  Since that album VOJ must’ve met a whore named “Melody” and dry humped her until they were chaffed because these Swedish Meatballs figured out how to WRITE SONGS. 

Simply put,   this album fucking rocks. 

Cover/Packaging:  The artwork and packaging is cool.  The cover reminds me of the original poster for the (terrible)
movie Detroit Rock City.  The pictures of the band reveal that there is no sun in Sweden,  nor have they met the Swedish chef.  They look famished and the total weight of all 4  band members with their guitars and each holding an amp is about 450 pounds. 

Vibe:  The CD has  a tight 10 songs and there’s only one that has permanently been deleted from my iTunes.   If Faster Pussycat and Guns N’ Roses mated in the wild, this would be their bastard child.  It flows, the guitars are drenched in Sunset Strip sleaze, and they save the best for last with their title track.  They also have a killer cover of Tom Petty’s “Refugee.” It’s one of those rare covers that stays true to the original but makes it their own like GNR’s “Live and Let Die” and “Knockin on Heavens Door.”  I recommend buying the physical copy, and not downloading select tracks because it is truly a solid album overall.  Even the ballads rock. 

Kick Ass:  Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead, Mind Pollution, Refugee, Paper Heart, I Don’t Care, Title Track

Solid:  Get It On, Enemy in Me, Better Off Alone

Steaming Turd:  I Belong To Yesterday