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RUFKMDanny Hope’s lipsweater responsible for Purdue football’s failure
October 12, 2009 by CeonFoosheys
Filed under Ceon Fooshey's Foolishness, Music, New Content, Politics, Top Picture
Since I am in no way able to provide rational, reasonable analysis of Purdue football as my beloved Boilermakers have shit the bed this season, I instead offer a wild hypothesis for how Purdue can get back to mediocre team we’ve grown to expect.
Like a body snatcher, Danny's lipsweater has gained control of his coaching ability and he now has a huge craving for oatmeal. The same thing happened to Wilford Brimley.
Shave the mustache off the face of first-year coach Danny Hope. Shave it for pride. Shave it for power. Shave it for freedom!
Hope will get some slack from me as this is his first season and I don’t think it would be fair to talk about him getting fired. This is Purdue after all. But that lipsweater he sports is not a right. That is a privilege.
The mustache Danny Hope has makes him a dead ringer — albeit a generation younger — for former Boilers coach Joe Tiller, who is the patriarch of our current wave of almost good enough football that has us in place where we can be upset with embarrassing losses and not seem like a loon.
Shave it off Coach. Learn to win with a clean face.
Coaches at the high school level often promise their players to shave their head, or bless their hearts, get a mohawk if the team beats their rival or wins the conference title.
Danny Hope needs to make that commitment to us the loyal Purdue fans. And with Purdue’s rebirth on the field, Hope’s mustache can blossom again.
I discussed this issue with Purdue Pete. He said if they continue to lose, he would knock out Danny Hope with his hammer and shave it off himself.
I will continue to watch as I did on Saturday as the Boilers fumbled away another winnable game at Minnesota. I will continue to care as I did at homecoming as Purdue put me through the miserable torture of being gracious to Northwestern fans.
Are you fucking kidding me? Forget that. Danny Hope must not stand on that sideline mustachioed for one more game.
Check out other scary lipsweaters at the site LIPSWEATERS.COM.
Here’s a preview.
