Bears ticket price causes area man to throw monkey poop

If my chair was where my couch is, or if I was slightly less lazy, I would be looking at Soldier Field as I type this in my South Loop condo. I mention this not to brag or freak you out, but to paint a picture of how close I live to a place I would never pay $350 to visit for one 3-4 hour period of time. No fucking way.

The Chicago Bears announced on the team website on Tuesday that single game tickets would go on sale in about a month. In case you thought about taking your family out to a game this season, think again, unless you are the type of robber baron that has sent our country into the economic shithouse. If this is you, then by all means belly up to the bar at Hallas Hall and flop out your sweaty bag of money.

The cheapest tickets are $68 (plus Ticketmaster ramming), and you know, that’s almost acceptable for an NFL game if you are paying for one or two tickets. But what I can’t fathom is what moron pays the maximum price of $350.

I’ve been to Soldier Field for Bears games and for the second-to-last Grateful Dead show. I’ve sat in the upper deck. I’ve sat in the press box as a working journalist, which also gave me access to the field.

None of those views are worth $350. I say this knowing that I paid the $800 face value for Super Bowl tickets a few months ago. But that was the Super Bowl, not a regular season game, or for all that’s warm and fuzzy, a preseason game.

While I’ve never been in one of the luxury boxes or sat 20 rows up at the 45-yard line, I am confident that these views and experiences aren’t worth the loot either, not even if it included a keg of beer and my own personal prime rib buffet that comes with an armed guard who shoots people with impunity when they look at my buffet.

I throw monkey poop in the general direction of anyone who thinks this price is rational, justifiable or anything short of a crime against humanity.

For more stupidity, visit Ceon Fooshey’s own site HERE.