Obama appoints new Cyber Czar, Fuhrer of the Interior, Mack Daddy of Poonany

So this week Obama is set to name a new “Cyber Czar” to be in charge of the nations internet security. This in addition to the already named “Auto Czar” and “Banking Czar”, two gentlemen who are in charge of facilitating the takeover of  several publicly held corporations. We here at RUFKM find it fascinating that President Obama seems rather taken with the term “Czar”. None of us made it through “Pre-Industrial Russian History” in college because we were too busy scoring with your girlfriends but we are pretty sure Czar was a term for the Russian leader in the pre-1900s.

Now, I will admit that I voted for the Obamessiah. What choice did I really have? I had spent considerable words on espousing my complete dislike for Sarah Palin and unfortunately her and McCain were a package deal. When it came right down to it, I wouldn’t have voted for McCain if Palin was offering ass-to-mouth for every hundredth voter.

But even I must give pause and reflect upon some of the President’s decisions these last few weeks. Specifically, the socialization of the automotive and banking industry. I’m a bit confused how capatalism can function when certain members of an industry are receiving government help and others aren’t. It seems it would give certain players an advantage over others and as someone that has some ties to those very competitors I am a bit pissed off my tax dollars are going to help institutions that have a vested interest directly opposite my own.

But I digress.  Back to the funny.

We think that the Annnointed One should expand out his choices a bit with titles. Czar is a bit played out. The following are some suggestions the RUFKM braintrust came up with to assist our Commander in Chief.  Some are renamed existing positions and others are new additions like “Cyber Czar”

Renamed Positions

Dictator of Education

Fuhrer of the Interior

Kaiser of Banking

Despot of the CIA

Master of Foreign Affairs

Grand Pubah of Defense

Some New Titles

Mack Daddy of Poonany (Date Night Coordinator)

Caesar the Pleaser (Sex Education)

Monarch of Monopoly ( Recreation)

Kaiser of Calamity (TARP Allocation)

Skeletor of the North Shore (Dick Cheney)

Captain Chompers (Joe Biden’s code name)

Cunt Punt Commander (Secret committee dedicated to getting rid of Pelosi)

Dark Lord of the Smorgasbord (Catering)

Feel free to add more to the comment list.  This is for the good of our country.

Sincerely,

TylerDFC

etc…