Naked Pole Vaulters, Psycho Youth Soccer Coaches, and Sham-Pow!

Wow.  What a great week it’s been!  Ceon Fooshey’s has been working overtime on Twitter because last week, based on these stories, there were more “Are You F—ing Kidding Me?” moments than ever!  My favorite has to be the Sham-Wow!  dude (Vince Shlomi) getting arrested in Miami for slapping a hooker.   

Look at the mug shot above.  This is one of the greatest mysteries of our time.  How old did you think this joker was?  25?  30?  The guy is 44 years old and looks every year of it.  I know people don’t look their best at 3 a.m. when they’ve been battling tongue biting whores…. but he looks NOTHING like the carnival barker on TV.  There are only two explanations for this. 

A.  The Sham-Wow! commercial was filmed in 1993 and placed in a time capsule while they perfected the absorbency of a glorified shammy. 

B.  The company employed 6 time Oscar winner Rick Baker (Star Wars, Thriller video, Coming to America) to do his makeup.  

If Rick Baker can make Michael Jackson turn into a werewolf and Eddie Murphy look like an old dude at a barbershop, he can make an annoying “As Seen On TV” dude look 25 years old. 

Enjoy. 

 

ShamWow guy was arrested for beating up a prosti at his South Beach hotel. Sometimes the setup is the punchline. http://tinyurl.com/crql3l

4:05 PM Mar 28th from web

  

 

If you crash your motorized bar stool — and who hasn’t — don’t call 911 or you’ll get a DUI. http://tinyurl.com/cygk49

about 24 hours ago from web

 

I’m pretty sure failing a drug test at the NFL scouting combine is the dumbest fucking thing you could ever do. http://tinyurl.com/cy3h8o

7:53 PM Apr 2nd from web

  

 

Cricket is a sport that few of us Americans understand. This cricket fan is easier to appreciate. NSFW Warning! http://tinyurl.com/cyeo77

7:44 PM Apr 2nd from web

  

  

Roger Clemens is “a complete asshole.” Don’t take my word on the subject. Ask Cito Gaston. http://tinyurl.com/c6uhgg

7:18 PM Apr 2nd from web

 

 

Maybe UFC’s Dana White should have counted to 10 instead of dropping all the F-bombs on writer who was critical. http://tinyurl.com/coyc88

4:58 AM Apr 2nd from web

  

 

Score one for angry fans after soccer player quits team because of getting heckled at practice. http://tinyurl.com/dae44k

4:36 AM Apr 2nd from web

 

 

Purdue’s mens team lost in the Sweet16 and the womens team lost in the Elite8. Would our transgender squad would make the Final Four?

11:40 AM Apr 1st from txt

  

Former Georgia football player soaks cop car in piss after DUI arrest. http://tinyurl.com/cm4xea

5:13 PM Mar 31st from web

 

 

If you are a Spartan fan and a hottie willing to put out, you can have a free Final Four ticket. http://tinyurl.com/d5lgpe

5:11 PM Mar 31st from web

  

 

The RUFKM nomination for youth coach of the year told kids take the field “like a Michael Vick pit bull.” http://tinyurl.com/c965zc

4:59 PM Mar 31st from web

  

 

  

Gymnast Johnson accosted by Dancing With the Stars partner with bulging Johnson. http://tinyurl.com/d26rgu

4:23 PM Mar 31st from web

  

 

Man thought it would be funny to burn victim’s crotch while he slept. I see his point. That’s hilarious. http://tinyurl.com/c6fnlh

5:40 AM Mar 31st from web

  

 

As a Lakers fan, I am glad to see that Andrew Bynum is feeling better. He proved it at the Playboy mansion. http://tinyurl.com/dnlwv6

8:56 PM Mar 30th from web

 

 

Pole vaulter runs naked through the streets of Paris to gain attention and sponsorship. Step one, accomplished. http://tinyurl.com/cxwrtq

            4:50 AM Mar 30th from web