Doctor advises pregnant lady not to play in the forest, run from bears.

There’s something going around right now called the Swine Flu. I’m not sure if you’ve heard about it. Forgetting for a moment that the normal flu kills 40,000 people in the US alone every year, we’d like to interrupt your regularly scheduled needless kvetching over the newest media-fueled over- hyped calamity to bring you a [...]

Steve Jobs Gets Brain Cancer, iTunes Employees Lose Sense of Humor

As a world-renowned celebrity, Captain Boondoggle receives a multitude of fan mail from the much less fortunate wanting to know more about the Great Boondoggle.   For many, this hero worship is so great that they want to completely comprehend and fully grasp the power and magnificence of what it is to be Boondoggle.      [...]

13 Stupid Questions with TESLA

Judging by the numerous Google searches and questions from fans with respect to our review of Tesla’s Forever More, there is some pent-up demand to learn more about one of the most underrated rock groups of the past quarter century.  We’ve found our review has helped Tesla fans rediscover their love of this band and [...]

Electronic cigarette promotion includes punching Jose Canseco in the face: Sports Week in Review

 Here is everything you need to know about the world over the last week from our Sports Twitter.    Enjoy!    You can punch Jose Canseco in the face on internet payperview to promote electronic cigarettes. All true. http://tinyurl.com/c334xt 7 hours ago Ron Ron is serious about his Flinstones vitamins. If he has to, he will eat the [...]

Obama states if he wanted a real challenge, he’d beat Contra without the code

In one of Obama’s nightly press conferences, when asked about solving the state of America’s economy, he made reference to an 80′s Nintendo video game.  “My fellow Americans.  While our current economic state presents a challenge, it is nothing compared to the struggle I went through on May 17th, 1989. ” When asked to elaborate, Obama [...]

Major League Baseball authorizes new performance-dehancing products to combat steriod use

  Major League Baseball is in full swing right now.  However, nothing captured the headlines more than the offseason steriods scandal of Alex Rodriguez.  To hopefully shed some light on the situation,  RUFKM recently got the chance to sit down with Victor Conte, founder and president of Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (BALCO). VICTOR: Thanks for having me, Acorn [...]

The exciting finale of “Bad things don’t come in threes, they come in twelves”

(Part 2 of 2.  To read part 1, click HERE.) The next Monday I got a call from Saab saying my baby was ready. Awesome news! I had to pay only the $500 deductible. So off to the bank I went to get my money. I had to go during working hours due to the [...]

Band “Pop Evil” saves Michigan, become local heroes

While sitting in darkness at my computer pondering the dismal fate of the once great state of Michigan, a soundtrack is blasting from my speakers.  It  makes me wonder if despite the recent difficulties Michigan is facing resulting in mass emigration from the state that perhaps, just perhaps, there is still hope.  That soundtrack? Pop Evil’s superb Lipstick [...]

Bad Things Don’t Come in Threes, They Come In Twelves

So, a couple Fridays ago, I’m driving to work from my ex boyfriend’s house (we have amazing sex and I can’t stop doing it even though it effects my heart in a major way), and a semi’s tire de-treads in front of the car that’s in front of mine. Said car quickly and instinctively swerves [...]

Neil Young releases album of AC/DC, Metallica covers

There are four words I thought I would never say or put down in print: Neil Young Fucking Rocks. I have been a severe non-fan of Neil Young’s music since the first time I heard “Rocking in the free word.”  The only thing I really knew about him was: *  He had the worst set of [...]

Your Sports Week in Review: Madden retires, Rage of Hulkster, Cheerleader Revenge

  Here is all you need to know about the world compiled into 19 bulletpoints.  You can get these daily by subscribing to the Sports Twitter on your right.  Have a great weekend and enjoy the articles.  You can find the girl on your right naked through link #15.  Enjoy!   — RUFKM Worldwide Frank [...]

Emos, Hipsters, and Goths found to originate from same strand of douchebag

Am I getting old or are these things all pretty much the same thing? Here’s why I think this: “normal” people always assume that I belong to one of these categories. (I have dark hair and heavy bangs, obviously I’m some sort of non-conformist.) So, just for the sake of argument, I tried to weasel [...]

RAGING SHARKS – Oh, how they rage.

  Raging Sharks starts up like all craptastic shark movies should: in space.  We are treated to a halfway decent spaceship model doing that “crawl past the stationary camera” move” that has been in every science fiction movie since Star Wars. Soon we cut to an interior shot of a smoky room with 2 aliens [...]

Connection found between Sir Mix-A-Lot, SpongeBob, Burger King, and Kumar going to Washington

There has been a thought forming in my subconscious  for some time now.  Even I, the Great Boondoggle, struggle with this riddle of insanity as it awaits release from my brilliant mind to share with the world. This passion can be withheld no longer.  I must release this torrent of superfluousness so you can suffer the [...]

Child receives Photon instead of Lazer Tag in 1986, still feels socially isolated

RUFKM would like to proudly introduce our newest contributer, the Acorn King.  Although he once wrote for Carrot Top, we have allowed him to join our club.  He is now listed under the author tab above and has a section called Acorn King’s Chaos.   Here is a tale about a Christmas gift that has [...]

The Greatest Telemarketer Phone Prank Ever: “What Does A Police Siren Sound Like?”

 The mind-boggling antics employed by Captain Boondoggle’s Do You Like Cheese? telemarketer phone prank has resulted in the incessant calls to Boondoggle’s Bungalow to vanish faster than Gene Simmon’s fake hair after a shower.   Apparently, the Boondoggle’s Do You Like Cheese? routine’s brilliant obfuscation causes utter panic in the minds of the lesser telemarketer [...]

U.S Cargo Ship’s features include cruise control, Somali pirate repellent

There are many signs that I will soon wake up, look out my bedroom window, and see a dragon peeking through my blinds. With a slightly disturbed look, the dragon will stare at me standing shirtless in my blue penguin-patterned-pajamas, give me a quick wink, bash his head through the wall, open his mouth of [...]

One Advantage of Being Dead

(For those about to FARK we salute you!  If you came from FARK.COM and this is your first time at “Are You F–ing Kidding Me?” …… check out our other music related content.  There’s a ton of it including our popular “13 Stupid Questions” with bands like Tesla, Anthrax, and future rock stars like The [...]

Alien Vs. Predator – Requiem: The darkest movie of all time

Man, I love seeing a good movie. Which makes it all the more disappointing that I was unable to see Aliens vs Predator: Requiem. Oh, I was able to rent it. And my DVD player ran it just fine. But the movie was so dark I had to turn off all my lights, unplug the [...]

Witchboard: A fine excuse to see Tawney Kitaen naked

I don’t like to do this but I think I need to lead this one off with a disclaimer: This is going to be one for the guys. It will be a deep and penetrating exploration of the adolescent psyche. Specifically MY adolescent psyche. Specifically my adolescent psyche’s obsession with boobs. Which is really not [...]