BECOME A FAN 
SUBSCRIBE
RUFKMObama denies saying “And Then I F—-d Her!”, chaos ensues
March 27, 2009 by Dark Lord
Filed under Dark Lord's Lair, Politics
We covered the proper use and definition of Soft ATIFH! HERE. For part 2, lets move on to Hard ATIFH!.
You can use this in a speech or conversation. Hard ATIFH! is far more risky as the entire purpose is for the listener to actually HEAR the phrase and then be tricked into thinking they DIDN’T. Remember, change to an obnoxious screaming tone (Andrew Dice Clay, Adam Sandler) and speak with force and volume. Our first example shows how our President recently used ATIFH! in one of his nightly press conferences. Here’s the transcript:
Scenerio #1: Obama Mama
Obama: It is widely known that Hillary Clinton and I have our differences but that is in the past. I have great respect for her and her husband. They are both patriots, and I am proud to have her in my cabinet. I recently sat with Hillary Clinton, went over goals we both had for this great country AND THEN I FUCKED HER!!!! HEY -OH!!!
Reporter #1: Senator Obama, did you just say “…and then I fucked her?”
Obama: I don’t believe that’s what you heard me say.
Reporter #2: I’m pretty sure you did. We’re all holding microphones, there’s about 6,000 video cameras pointed at you, and you are being broadcast in 180 different languages. We can play it back if you like.
Obama: I see. I respect your opinion. However, I find your allegations to be false.
Reporter #2: With all due respect, Mr. President not only did you say “and then I fucked her,” you pumped your fist, then moonwalked across the stage.
Obama: I will admit to moonwalking, but I would like to bring your
attention to an important discovery I have made. Look over there. (While entire audience is looking away, Obama quickly places a jar of jelly with a damaged lid on his podium.)
Reporter #1: Mr. President, we didn’t see anything.
Obama: Sorry, I thought I saw Hannah Montanna. Big fan. Michelle and the girls love her.
Reporter #2: President Obama, is there a jar of jelly sitting on your podium?
Obama: That is correct. It’s a jar of jelly. This is what alarmed me earlier.
Reporter #2: The jar. The jar alarmed you.
Obama: Yes. That is why I shouted INDENTED CAN OF
SMUCKERS!!! I believe it may be strawberry preserves. I love me some Smucker’s jam.
Reporter #1: Are you trying to say that you screamed INDENTED CAN OF SMUCKERS, not AND THEN I FUCKED HER?
Obama: That is correct. As you can see, the lid is damaged, or as I said, indented. It’s quite scary. It could be botulism.
Reporter #2: Do you expect us to believe that explanation?
Obama: Yes I do. Besides, I can sell you guys on anything. I’ve already spent 2 trillion dollars in my first 90 days and sold it as helping the economy. I have to go. Fergie is doing a private concert for my daughters at noon. My humps!
Damn, that Obama is smooth! Let’s move on to our next example you can use at your workplace.
Scenerio #2: Office Space Shenanigans
Dark Lord: Please, just call me Dark. I have to tell you, I think I’m falling in love. I don’t like to move too fast but she is just a great girl. Last week when we were skipping through the park, I picked a few flowers for her, put them in her hair, and then a bluebird landed on her shoulder. It was like I was living a dream. We went out for a lovely fondue dinner and went home and listened to my Burl Ives collection on vinyl. AND THEN I FUCKED HER! HEY-OH! (Make sure to pump your fist)
young but that man has the voice of an angel.Dark Lord: I simply mentioned my priceless collection of Burl Ives LPs that are in mint condition. Not a scratch. I weep when I hear his rendition of “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.” Is our differing musical tastes going to present a hostile work environment?
Lance: Sir, you shouted “and then I fucked her!” and made some strange celebratory move like your team scored a last minute goal.
Dark Lord: Wow. I mean…. Wow. I never said anything of the sort and I do not tolerate that type of language in my office. This is outrageous on so many levels and downright confusing. Why would I say that? I thought we were bonding as I told you about my day of 
flowers and fondue. Consider this my verbal warning and do not look me directly in the eyes for the next 3 weeks.
There you go! You pulled a Jedi mind trick on that ass! These are not the droids you’re looking for, bitch!
There you have it. Use ATIFH and your quality of life will improve!
We’re here to help.
Sincerely,
Dark Lord
LMAO……..