Multiple uses discovered for phrase “And Then I F—ed Her!”

• Do you know someone who asks you questions and then never listens to the answer?
• How about when you’re in the middle of a speech and you can tell your audience is beginning to drift off?
• Have you tried to be funny and failed miserably? Perhaps just like this website?

Well, RUFKM has a solution for all these problems.  It’s called:

OPERATION ATIFH! 

This is an acronym we invented that is pronounced “Ah – teeef!” and stands for “And Then I Fucked Her!”  This will ensure that all your future conversations will be entertaining to either you or your audience, and also may get you fired or outcast from society.  

There are two ways to say ATIFH! 

A.  Soft ATIFH = Use the same tone and cadence you are currently using during the conversation.

B.  Hardcore ATIFH! = increase volume,  speak  exactly like that no-talent-ass-clown Andrew “Dice” Clay.  You do not, however, need to wear a sleeveless multicolored leather jacket.  

Today we will  provide a few scenarios and examples of how to properly use this phrase in conversation.  We will start with Soft ATIFH! and will show the Hard ATIFH! at a later date. 

Scenario #1: 

It’s Monday morning and your annoying retired neighbor always asks how your weekend was.   This fossil is notorious for asking courtesy questions, nodding, and then forgetting he’s not wearing any pants.   You’re pretty sure he’s never listened to a goddamn word you’ve said due to either rudeness or that his brain has degraded to cottage cheese.  Let’s call him “Teddy.” 

Teddy:  So, Dark Lord, how was your weekend? 

Dark Lord:  Great!  I had a nice Saturday night.  I took the wife out to Olive Garden and we had one of the best meals ever!  I love those breadsticks.  Then we saw that Paul Blart: Mall Cop movie, went to Ben & Jerry’s for desert, and then I fucked her.  How was your weekend? 

Teddy:  Well, you know, every day above ground is a good day!  Heh-heh.   Have a good one!  Oh, have you seen my pants?

There you go!  You slipped ATIFH! into the conversation and the old geezer never even noticed!  Well done.  This can also be done at work with your incompetent boss that never listens and has the personality of a cyborg.  Here’s another example of a Soft ATIFH! 

Scenerio #2: 

Top Banana:  Hey buddy!  Good to catch up with you!  How was your interview with Kelly today for the office manager opening?

Dark Lord:  I have to say that Kelly did a solid job explaining her past sales experience citing specific examples, had a portfolio detailing her performance awards,  as well as being able to display her desire for the position.  And then I fucked her. 

Top Banana:  Sounds fantastic!  Should we make her an offer?

Dark Lord:  I  gave her the offer of $53,000 a year with incentives.  And then I fucked her. 

Top Banana:  Excellent work!  I will file the paperwork and her first day will be next Monday.  Dick Lid, I can always count on you to make solid business decisions for our organization.

Dark Lord:  Thank you sir.  For the record, my name is Dark Lord. 

Top Banana:  Sorry, my Blackberry is blowing up!  Keep on trucking! Also, we’re going to need you to come in on Saturday. 

 

Stay tuned for Hard ATIFH soon.  We already trademarked this shit so if you decide to add this to your routine, remember to send us 3 nickels in royalties per use.