Obama denies saying “And Then I F—-d Her!”, chaos ensues

  We covered the proper use and definition of Soft ATIFH! HERE.  For part 2, lets move on to Hard ATIFH!.  You can use this in a speech or conversation.  Hard ATIFH! is far more risky as the entire purpose is for the listener to actually HEAR the phrase and then be tricked into thinking [...]

Air biscuits, giant burgers, and wedding dresses traded for hockey tickets

  Here is everything you need to know about the world in the last 7 days from our Twitter contributor Ceon Foosheys.  These are all real stories, mostly involving sporting shenanigans.  I highly recommend the Air Biscuit article.  I already bought three. Make sure to watch the video.  Passing air biscuits is now fully socially acceptable [...]

Multiple uses discovered for phrase “And Then I F—ed Her!”

Do you know someone who asks you questions and then never listens to the answer? How about when you’re in the middle of a speech and you can tell your audience is beginning to drift off? Have you tried to be funny and failed miserably? Perhaps just like this website? Well, RUFKM has a solution for all these problems.  It’s called: OPERATION [...]

Local woman prefers men who like Asian Porn, eat without silverware

I like being a girl. As a matter of fact, I love it. And I don’t want to date one. Because dating one, would mean that there would be two girls in the relationship, and frankly, my relationships have room for only one girl. And that’s me. So, let’s talk about feelings (my ex’s most [...]

GNR releases slew of new albums, most involve banjos, harps

Inspired by Cannon’s recent posts on long-forgotten musical gems in the world of rock, I decided to go on my own fishing expedition to find a long ago cast aside album that I too could possibly rediscover and add to my superb collection of hair metal silliness.     With the risk of RUFKM becoming a [...]

Nancy Grace Killed Caylee Anthony

Fact 1: In the United States, four children die every day as a result of child abuse. Fact 2: Caylee Anthony went missing June 2008. Fact 3: Nancy Grace hasn’t talked about one thing, other than Caylee Anthony since June 2008. Fact 4: Nancy Grace makes scary facial expressions and her eyebrows are amiss. Fact [...]

TylerDFC pulls out his stimulus package, lays it on desk

Dear President Obama, members of government, foreign leaders, and the media: After the last $800B dollars you invested in our economy seems to not be doing a damn thing to help the situation I think it is time for some radical steps. News everyday is the stock market is crashing to its lowest levels in [...]

Warrant’s Cherry Pie, Tawny Kitaen, and O.J.

      There are few times when a band releases a song and video that summarizes an entire genre. However, Warrant did just that in 1990 with the single, video, and album Cherry Pie. In front of a white background, the entire band dressed as firemen and hosed down Pamela Anderson wannabe Bobbi Brown [...]

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace

R.I.P. – Rock in Peace Captain Boondoggle lost a friend today.  Not lost, like Cannon lost his brother on his bachelor’s party or TylerDFC lost his mind the same night, but lost as in dead, finito, over, kicked the bucket, never-to-return.  He died.  He’s dead.  He’s not coming back. If you are looking for unbridled [...]

Taste our Twitter: RUFKM Sports Headlines

Have you checked out our constantly updated RUFKM Sports Twitter yet?  Ceon Foosheys, our newest contributor, has been doing a great job keeping all the world informed of any sports stories that make you scream “Are You F—ing Kidding Me?”  You may not be be able to see it at work as it is classified [...]

Jet packs provide thrill, possible burnt asshole

When you are filthy rich and insane, you can easily get bored.  After you’ve traveled across the Atlantic in a hot air balloon and scaled Mount Everest there’s really only one thing left to do: Strap two rockets on your back and attempt to fly to the moon.  Recently, I opened up the Wall Street Journal, [...]

Kangaroo attacks family, mistaken for 5 foot Japanese man

Amidst the gloomy backdrop of plummeting economic wealth, zombie banks, octomoms, missing children, Richard Simmons infomercials, global warming and news about the inevitable collapse of modern industrial society there are three things that each of us still employed can be thankful for and perhaps even feel a little good about our current situation: 1. You [...]