Dark Horse Album Review: 11 New Nickelback Classics!

Let it be known that Chad Kroeger is a horny Canadian motherfucker. I know this because I can smell my own (minus the Canadian part) and I also conducted painstaking research that led me to this conclusion.  My first clue that the lascivious lead singer of Nickelback highly enjoys vagina and throat love can be summed [...]

European experiment has benefits, possible side effect of swallowing Earth

These are certainly difficult times that we live in. With unemployment at an all time high, a nonsensical health care plan, and a continuous stream of live action movies based on toys, it is clear that an apocalypse is upon us ready to engulf the world in flames sparing only Jehovah Witnesses, select Level 7 Scientologists [...]

Women are from Venus: The History of Dick Glitter

There are many unsolved mysteries in life and things that occur in nature that simply cannot be explained.      1. Global Warming 2. The Bermuda Triangle 3. Dancing with the Stars The greatest scientists, sociologists, and jackassorists, could break down the above for the rest of eternity but they would never be able to produce a [...]

RUFKM added to newest edition of Urban Dictionary!

Besides providing hilarious entertainment on an (almost) daily basis, selling our 3 millionth shirt, and warning the globe about the risks of ferret ownership, there is yet another sign that RUFKM Worldwide, Inc. is poised for global domination:   Our trademarked acronym of RUFKM has just been added to the newest edition of the Amazon Bestseller [...]

Things we Weren’t Taught In School: Vol 2

We’ve all been in this situation. You walk into work in the morning, passing person after person, going through mental gymnastics trying to properly greet everyone. Because EVERYONE is different and if you give the wrong greeting you will needlessly offend someone. Some people, like my friend, prefer to ignore the existence of morning and [...]

Things We Weren’t Taught In School: Vol 1

The longer I live the more I see there are significant oversights in our education system. Certain things that come up on a daily basis but no one ever properly taught us. This recurring column will address some of those oversights. On Greetings and Salutations Is there anything quite as maddening as not knowing when [...]

Huffy: The BMX of SEX

I can barely remember when I lost my virginity, but I know that it happened fast. I was 18 and I guess you could call me a “late bloomer”. While all my friends were out getting strange ass, I was home with my Super Nintendo, doomed to a life of dirty dreams. My very first [...]

Women are from Venus: Hypothetical Questions

TylerDFC and I were having a vigorous debate the other day in which I argued that being a gay man would not be all that bad except for the insurmountable fact of having sex with other men. He argued that it is indeed difficult in ways that I would not understand, until I informed him [...]